Arisa
Clinging onto every ounce of hope
- Feb 23, 2020
- 46
Family and doctor tell me to take time off to recover from burnout. But caseworker told me if I can still work even with suicidal thoughts then it means I can still work and cant take time off to see psychologists etc.
I wish I worked a regular job that didnt own me. I wish my job had been 9 to 5 and I could have had hobbies. I'm so jealous of admin and people that dont work to death. I hope I get reincarnated in my next life so that I can be someone a bit happier and have a life outside of work. I wish that I had seen Japan before I go but due to Corona probably not gonna happen.
considering ending it seriously this time. I don't see myself slaving away another 20 years of hell. Im thinking ctb date is next month. I was gonna move in with bf later this year so its have to be before then.
I feel bad for letting my family and friends and bf down. I hope they will all forgive me. I plan to donate my organs and my assets to charity who will use it to change some poor familys life that I'd more deserving than my life. I feel that may be the only thing that will bring me happiness.
I wish I worked a regular job that didnt own me. I wish my job had been 9 to 5 and I could have had hobbies. I'm so jealous of admin and people that dont work to death. I hope I get reincarnated in my next life so that I can be someone a bit happier and have a life outside of work. I wish that I had seen Japan before I go but due to Corona probably not gonna happen.
considering ending it seriously this time. I don't see myself slaving away another 20 years of hell. Im thinking ctb date is next month. I was gonna move in with bf later this year so its have to be before then.
I feel bad for letting my family and friends and bf down. I hope they will all forgive me. I plan to donate my organs and my assets to charity who will use it to change some poor familys life that I'd more deserving than my life. I feel that may be the only thing that will bring me happiness.
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