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bpdandme

Experienced
Feb 3, 2020
239
Obviously the circumstances of the pandemic are not good, but all I do is stay inside anyway (apart from when I had work) and go on my phone and laptop for hours. I hate interacting with people in real life and don't have any energy to do anything. I don't know why I haven't killed myself, it's like I'm waiting for something to change but I think I'm too far gone.
 
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muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
Same here. It's business as usual for me even with the pandemic. I'm a social recluse and I haven't interacted with anyone in a social setting in almost a year at this point. Isolation is just a way of life for me
 
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DeathNoot

DeathNoot

Student
Feb 19, 2020
137
I've been isolated for like 5 years lol makes no difference to me at all
 
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artificialpasta

artificialpasta

Member
Feb 2, 2020
88
Yeah. It's not like I actively want this lifestyle. I just never grew up with a normal family or a stable community or a circle of friends. So most of my life has always been in isolation. I don't think much will change for me if I went on, I don't think any more of this is worth it. Loneliness is the worst condition to be in.

Obviously I'm not happy about it, but I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in this. Growing up I've always just normalized it and told myself this is fine, things will change, just hold on tight. I simply can't believe any of that anymore. There's something wrong with me, with my life, all of it is a mistake. I'm not happy. I don't know what it's like to be happy. I don't even know myself.

I can't wait for all of this to stop. I'm frustrated I can't do it right now. I should have known, should have done it sooner.
 
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S

s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
I live isolated whether it's virus or not. Completely alone.
 
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favourite

favourite

Student
Feb 15, 2019
191
My current life looks like one big day off. I don't go to work, but other than that nothing has changed. Just sit at home - besides short excursions for supplies - and talk to one person on the internet...I don't have friends in this city, never have, so I'm not isolated more than ever.

I worry about my family catching that shit, but tbh mostly I feel less anxious than usual.
 
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disabledandhopeless

disabledandhopeless

Enlightened
Mar 1, 2020
1,893
I'm have been self isolated for years anyway, no difference
 
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Anon2662

Anon2662

Just a girl trapped in a psychological prison
Feb 13, 2020
366
I totally understand the hating interacting with people and having no energy. It sucks and I'm sorry you're going through it too! I am basically housebound and go weeks/months without setting foot outside.. so this is having absolutely no effect on me in that regard. In fact I'm (unfairly I guess) finding myself getting inwardly annoyed at people on fb moaning at having to stay in.. some of us have been doing it for months/years and have no other choice.. I get why they're moaning because they aren't used to it but for some of us this is normal everyday life. All this virus has done to me personally is make me distrust the government even further and disrupted my plans. I do feel for the thousands who are dying who actually have good lives and want to live though. I just wish I could take one of their places instead.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
Maybe you want to see what happens next out of curiosity?
I'd like to. Because now I am more of a spectator rather than participant.
I don't interact with people irl at all, what will I tell them when they ask how I am?
What can I tell them if I am ready to go? It is a game when we are just pretending that everything is alright.
Do you have that feeling that you don't want to be too close to people merely not to let them down?
 
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ZardozOmega

ZardozOmega

Narcissist Gay NEET-cel
Mar 4, 2020
718
Same thing on my end.
 
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B

bpdandme

Experienced
Feb 3, 2020
239
Yeah. It's not like I actively want this lifestyle. I just never grew up with a normal family or a stable community or a circle of friends. So most of my life has always been in isolation. I don't think much will change for me if I went on, I don't think any more of this is worth it. Loneliness is the worst condition to be in.

Obviously I'm not happy about it, but I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in this. Growing up I've always just normalized it and told myself this is fine, things will change, just hold on tight. I simply can't believe any of that anymore. There's something wrong with me, with my life, all of it is a mistake. I'm not happy. I don't know what it's like to be happy. I don't even know myself.

I can't wait for all of this to stop. I'm frustrated I can't do it right now. I should have known, should have done it sooner.

Same here. I hear you completely. I hope we can find a way out of this! Sending light.
 
Гууу

Гууу

Member
Apr 9, 2020
33
The pros - all people around me started using masks. I was using mask in constant risk of being sick and being stigmatized of people around. The recycle centre guy asked me, why am i using muzzle. One of a doctors in happy house forced me to take it off. Nowadays it's normal.
The cons - i don't received military documents that allows me have a job (i need it for any that registered firm in my country) and there are no public transport for now apart taxi.
 
selfhater

selfhater

Experienced
Mar 1, 2020
222
i've been isolated my whole life no difference for me:(
 
ladolcemorte

ladolcemorte

Experienced
May 5, 2019
286
Same for me. Since being off work, all I have done is stay inside except to leave for therapy or dr appointments and to pick up essentials. My parents insisted I come stay with them during the pandemic. They were worried I wouldn't be able to get supplies due to my restricted mobility, so being around them is actually more socialization than I have had in months, though I just stay in my room most of the time.

My mom is an extrovert and she is really upset about not being able to go out. It doesn't bother me at all. (I'm greatly distressed by the situation the world is facing, but not by the fact of not being able to leave the house).
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
What everybody else said
 
D

Deformationalplagio

Born deformed
Dec 28, 2019
376
Me to i isolated my whole life with my deformity appart from going to work so no big change for me. It kinda feels like vacation to me
 
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