Venting my life feels so ruined.

[livingdeaddyke]

I had potential, I had dreams, I was here, I existed.
You don't know how much I have to hold back so many tears, to the point where I can't hold them in anymore and cry, seeing people live out my dreams, and be loved and wanted. That was the life I wanted. It feels like I'm being taunted, like this is the life I could've had, if I wasn't me. I hate who I am, a person that has to fight years of so much trauma, mental health, and immense self-hatred. I'm not good enough. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough.

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

a person that has to fight years of so much trauma, mental health, and immense self-hatred. I'm not good enough. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough.

It sounds like you are trying so, so hard. You're just fighting a vastly different fight than someone who doesn't suffer from trauma or mental health problems. When you have to fight your own brain to make it through the day, there's not a lot of energy left for the other stuff. And that's nothing you're doing WRONG or not well enough.

I get it though, I also suffer from self hatred and abandoned dreams. It's always easier to comfort another person than yourself. Just know that at least one person out there sees the uphill battle you're fighting.

 

[just_a_guy]

I know what you're feeling. I have constant thoughts about a life not lived. I hope you can find some peace