My last week

[Toobrokentofix]

It has to be this week. Just need to somehow get through another couple days. I cant think about my loved ones. I know it's inevitable and in the long run it's gonna be for the best. Acting like all is fine around them now is really messing with my head. I cant hide away or they will know why and try to stop me. I have to resort to plan B as my SN has still not arrived so its not gonna be the speedy, painless, peaceful exit I wanted. Have waited over 6 weeks and I don't feel confident it will ever arrive. The seller asked me what I wanted it for. Had to spin a lie about making a tungsten needle sharp for glass blowing!! Don't know if he bought it. But have to get my head around the fact that it's not the only way.

 

[charlotte_]

Sorry, I don't know what advices I can give you in terms of methods. But I hope that things go well for you, and you will get a peaceful exit as you want. Best of luck

 

[Valky]

I am really sorry that life has brought you to this point :(
I wish you all the Best, whatever that will be <3

 

[ThisIsLife]

The seller asked me what I wanted it for.

This infuriates me. Wtf is wrong with these people !?

 

[FuneralCry]

I really hate how it's so difficult and complicated to leave this hellish world, humans deserve the option to pass away peacefully in a reliable way without having to struggle to do so. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for.

 

[Deleted member 31858]

Of course I am pro choice. But aren't you doing this impulsively? Maybe you could wait until you have the SN and have the most peaceful form of ctb possible. When someone does things impulsively they don't always go well, anyway I hope that the decision you make is the right one for you and you can get peace

 

[Toobrokentofix]

I don't know if it will come though though. The guy kept telling me it was sold out in Germany where they get it from and should be back in stock next week which them became the following week then the following week. I was thinking jumping from a very high local bridge after a bunch of sleeping pills n alcohol to give me the courage or inability to balance but am scared the police might get there before i manage to do it. Although I found out on Fri that 2 people who have jumped have survived it n been left disabled. So next idea... thinking carbon monoxide from charcoal in my car with OD of sleeping pills, benzos and antiemetics. Just need to get the calculations right to how much charcoal will do it. I have failed at this method many years ago and am not up for that experience again. I'm not doing it today... even though I wish I could. Need to have things in order and not screw it up. I'm done with "attempting". Need this to be the last time.