My identity

[lilypeachoo]

I'm so tired of life. I've been doing everything to keep everyone happy but me. The thought of death keeps me at peace knowing that once I end my life I never have to suffer again. I never asked for this life and I never once felt happy being alive. I distract myself with friends and hobbies but that can only do so much. I've been betrayed, backstabbed and used so often I've lost count. I had my fair share of doing the same to others too. I'm no saint either. I just don't feel like I have any purpose in life. I've spoken to numerous health professionals in all different medical fields to no avail. I've never taken anti-depressants. I've only consumed alcohol and marijuana but that doesn't fix any of my problems. Which is why I never consented to anti-depressants in the first place. I think half of my problems would be solved with more money but that requires working until the day I die. So why not just die already? I've been contemplating death for a long time. I talk about it amongst my friends just a lil bit to see their reactions and I can tell they get put off by the topic so I hide this side of me. No one understands that this pain I alone have to suffer because nobody can help me. I hope that one day someone can see me as me for all the pretty and ugly I am.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of existing here, only death comforts me as well as to me it just sounds so peaceful to be free from all suffering, existing truly can be so dreadful.

 

[bloodblacknothing]

life can be terribly exhausting, so i get longing to finally be rid of it -- ditto on the hobbies and distractions not really working so much anymore, as well. your feelings are completely valid, and many here (myself included) feel similarly, so perhaps there's some solace in that. whatever you need to vent about, whenever you need to vent about it, this place will be here for you.

there are numerous resources here for you, should you wish to search for them. i hope you find what you're looking for, friend!