My future suicide is inevitable

[FireFox]

All I ever wanted was a purpose and to be happy maybe it is not meant to be.

I will never be in a relationship and I will never have a job. No one is ever going hire a 23/ 24 year old who has never worked . My life is a mess and i am not good enough to live in this world
The pandemic has shown me that my life is nothing but failure . I dont deserve to be alive. Why is it the good and perfect people end up dying so soon but people like me end up still living. I shouldnt be alive.

I didn't kill myself living in this world killed me. I am a physically healthy 23 year old woman but it is pointless when I cant enjoy anything and everyday is just awful.

I really wanted to live and enjoy life which was the biggest tragedy in all this. I dont know how to live and maybe i never will.

I am tired of living. I am not strong enough to live in this world. I have messed up my life.

 

[SweetDreams500]

Same here on my end. I guess not everyone is supposed to make it.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I was 32 when I got my real first job....

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

If it makes you feel better I'm going to be 22 next week and I've never worked either. Only volunteering and organization stuff. My resume is laughable and I'd have to do 3-4 internships in a row to even look remotely impressive compared to other seniors in my class. I have zero job prospects after graduation. No offers, nothing. It appears we might be on the same boat

 

[suicide4me]

Hoping you find the peace you seek soon. I am seeking the same peace with the same feelings.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find relief from your suffering in whatever form. I know how our thoughts can suffocate us we cannot find any relief from them. Maybe some people aren't just suited for this life. I have always felt an empty void inside of me for as long as I can remember.

 

[Aloken]

I'm 24 and a half and I too have never worked a single day in my life. I don't let this define me though, because I don't care about the success standards of society. However, I realize that if my parents didn't support me financially, it would be another reason to ctb.

I don't think you don't deserve to live. The fact that you don't want to or that you're tired of living, is another story. Everybody deserves to live or nobody deserves to live. Basically, I believe that existence isn't a gift to be deserved, it is what it is, it happens. I hope you start thinking better of yourself, but hey, you can do anything you want

 

[Moose.000]

I am in my early 40's. I've had and still have everything you've mentioned above. But I am still here on SS. You will have to give yourself time. These things you wish for may be the answer to your recovery, but they also may not be. We're all different, some of us suffer from temporary depression due to the lack of things you've mentioned. Some of us have everything but suffer from chronic depression and chemical imbalances. Only time will tell. Give yourself time. I hope you find what your heart desires and your suicidal depression disappears.

 

[noname223]

I can relate to this a lot. No partnership, no work and chronnically ill. If there is no miracle it will end in suicide. The pain is too much, the panic is immense. I wish everything was easier for us, but this world is a bloody mess.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I feel this in a way. I am in my mid 40's and I have just gotten barely by most of my miserable life. I really had no practical reason to keep living, just the people I love and my biggest dream I have hoped for my entire life.

Now, the opportunity to fulfill that dream came and I fucked it up. I cannot try to achieve it again or even try to salvage it from the wrecked state it is in, so, I no longer have any purpose in life.

 

[notsociallywired]

I'm also 23 with dire job prospects (I could have had grad jobs but my severe social anxiety stopped me and will always stop me). I don't see any way that I could possibly have a feasible future.

 

[Pen>Sword]

This hits too close to home for me. I feel it's inevitable to me too. I can safely say that around 15-20% here are NEET of some sort. I'm a failing nursing student who will soon to be NEET.

People like me should be having terminal cancer, instead of someone else who has a child or has greater contribution to society or humanity. I want to die and donate my perfectly healthy organs to those people.

Fuck life, man. I'm fucked for simply existing, and the government won't allow us to peacefully CTB.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

People like me should be having terminal cancer, instead of someone else who has a child or has greater contribution to society or humanity. I want to die and donate my perfectly healthy organs to those people.

I wish this was something that could actually be done. That would solve a whole host of problems!

Edit: Oh, and I also feel the same way too. In fact, I would deserve whatever horrible ailment that was given to me because quite frankly, I am an utter failure, disgrace and ruination to every life I touch with my poison soul.

 

[FireFox]

This hits too close to home for me. I feel it's inevitable to me too. I can safely say that around 15-20% here are NEET of some sort. I'm a failing nursing student who will soon to be NEET.

People like me should be having terminal cancer, instead of someone else who has a child or has greater contribution to society or humanity. I want to die and donate my perfectly healthy organs to those people.

Fuck life, man. I'm fucked for simply existing, and the government won't allow us to peacefully CTB.

Exactly how i feel. I am healthy woman but i dont want my life and health anymore. I feel like I dont deserve it. I wish i didnt feel this way. Everyday I wish these feelings would stop and and I can be normal.

I am not normal enough but I am not crazy enough either.

You will make a wonderful nurse because you understand what pain, loneliness and hopelessness feels like . This can help you relate to the patients you come in to contact with dealing with these issues in the hopso. Being suicidal I finally have compassion and empathy for others.

Nursing is a wonderful degree that can give you secure employment and actually make a difference in peoples lives. Loads of people have failed nursing school but didn't give up and eventually they got there.

If you are failing ask for help or explain to your tutors you circumstances.

Dont give up

FireFox

I can relate to this a lot. No partnership, no work and chronnically ill. If there is no miracle it will end in suicide. The pain is too much, the panic is immense. I wish everything was easier for us, but this world is a bloody mess.

I think living in this world kills us .

We don't kill ourselves the world ultimately corruputs and destroys peoples personality, spirit and their soul to the point some people consider life is no longer worth living.

I said to my grandmother " anyone would be insane if they didn't want to leave this world. Look at this world can you blame people for wanting to leave ?".

I wanted to live I really did but living in this world killed me. All i wanted was a purpose but cant find it and probably never will.

 

[StringPuppet]

You sound just like me

 

[FireFox]

You sound just like me

In what way :)

 

[StringPuppet]

In what way :)

I'm 24 but I only worked 1 day of my life. I quit because I knew I couldn't handle doing it again and again and again. That probably ruined my resume.

I'm physically healthy (I think) but thanks to whatever mental problems I have I have 0% chance of ever being happy.

I just don't have the internal strength that other people have and because of that I'll have to CTB someday

 

[charlotte greentea]

If you're worried about getting a job, just lie on your resume. If they call you on it, whatever, but if they don't? You get in.

 

[lonerclown666]

same and 22 i want to exist from this nightmare

 

[hfdepression30]

Just a suggestion if you haven't considered it yet, but have you thought about going back into education?

I'm not sure which country you're in, but if you're in the U.K then there's a course you can apply for called Access to Higher Education, available at many colleges nationwide and in topics from nursing, humanities, science and more. You can apply for a student loan from the Gov to cover the entire course fee, and if you go on to university afterwards then the course fee is completely wiped clear. You can then apply for student loans for university and you only have to pay them back once you graduate and start earning a salary above £25k per year. Alongside your studies, you could get a part time job in a store, restaurant, bar.. etc.

If you're concerned about your age, don't be. I got my first real job when I was 23, then I left it when I was 28 to go back into education following exactly what I wrote above. The majority of people on my course were around 23-25. The youngest was 19. The oldest was 68! Age doesn't stop you from achieving what you want, you just have to do yourself a favour sometimes and put word to action.

I understand that some people on here truly want to live but feel like their circumstances have forced them down this route and the decision to take your own life.. if you're curious, just google it and have a look.. this kind of course could give you opportunities you thought may never be available.

Good luck *hugs*

edit: if you wanted more info on Access to Higher Education, it's basically a course for people who want to go to university but they don't have the necessary qualifications. AHE is a 1 year course (September to June) and is equivalent to 3 years of A-Levels. All universities accept AHE qualifications. Also, if you enroll on a AHE course you can also retake your GCSE English and Maths exams for free (optional).

 

[Aeathelina]

I'm 26 and I feel the same way.. wasted my best years in the gripe of self destruction with neglect and substance abuse and now I'm at an age where everyone should already have at least a Bachelor degree and a social life. I have nothing and in the US state that I'm in getting resources to get back on feet is near impossible since I'm single with no kids and too ill to purse a stable job with no vehicle

 

[lonerclown666]

I feel that everything i do is pointless i dont have any friends never had a gf and copes like watching movies or videogames are not enjoyable anymore i am in the void i feel so lonely im also a neet for 7 years never had a job

 

[TotallyIsolated]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

24 is still young. Your adult life has barely begun.

Having no experience makes it harder to find a job, sure, but it doesn't mean you cant get one. I bet there is tons of advice out there for getting a first job, and you're younger than I was when I got my first job.

Plus being lonely is awful, I know, but don't give up hope. There is still love and a life out there that you can find and enjoy. It wont be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.

 

[Bergamot]

Mee too if we break up I go instantly to jump in the torrent or from a palace o under a train , I'm very near to ctb need only this and my life is finish forever.

 

[SweetDreams500]

I feel that everything i do is pointless i dont have any friends never had a gf and copes like watching movies or videogames are not enjoyable anymore i am in the void i feel so lonely im also a neet for 7 years never had a job

samething here on my side, except that i've been a neet for 5 years

it sucks

 

[lonerclown666]

Same

 

[CatLove56]

I don't even know what to say it's just that this popped up on my recommended when I posted something similar. I literally keep living out of pure spite that's all that keeps me going. Sorry you feel this way.