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Member
- May 17, 2026
- 17
I have attended many funerals in my life, and I have always hated that. The last one was for my mother's best friend, who died of cancer. She was so loved that a large church was completely full for her funeral, at least a hundred people attended. Many people couldn't even get inside for the ceremony. Dozens of people were crying.
Her family, who are musicians, played music for her, and so many people read texts in honor of her memory. At the cemetery, they had made a personalized grave for her, decorated with handmade rainbow mosaics she loved, forming a heart, with other ornaments to reflect her joyful and artistic personality. I remember the look on her sons faces when her coffin was lowered into the grave. Their sadness was so deep that they didn't even cried anymore.
Mine will be nothing like that. I don't really have friends, only two people I'm not even very close to. Most of my family is dead or cut off contact a long time ago. There would probably only be my parents, my siblings, my grandmother, and my cousin. In a way, that's a good thing, since not many people would suffer because of my death. Still, it makes me a little sad. I'm truly nothing, because I am so incapable of forming bonds with other people.
I haven't written my will yet. I think I'd rather be cremated, just to disappear completely from the world. As soon as the people who knew me forget me, it will be as if I had never existed at all. That's what I want, I think. I don't want my body to rot and be eaten by worms. Apparently, during cremation, the body melts in the fire. I often imagine my face being distorted by the flames, my eyes disappearing first, until my skeleton is reduced to ashes.
I don't even know where those ashes should be scattered. I don't feel attached to any place. Even dead, I have nowhere to go.
Her family, who are musicians, played music for her, and so many people read texts in honor of her memory. At the cemetery, they had made a personalized grave for her, decorated with handmade rainbow mosaics she loved, forming a heart, with other ornaments to reflect her joyful and artistic personality. I remember the look on her sons faces when her coffin was lowered into the grave. Their sadness was so deep that they didn't even cried anymore.
Mine will be nothing like that. I don't really have friends, only two people I'm not even very close to. Most of my family is dead or cut off contact a long time ago. There would probably only be my parents, my siblings, my grandmother, and my cousin. In a way, that's a good thing, since not many people would suffer because of my death. Still, it makes me a little sad. I'm truly nothing, because I am so incapable of forming bonds with other people.
I haven't written my will yet. I think I'd rather be cremated, just to disappear completely from the world. As soon as the people who knew me forget me, it will be as if I had never existed at all. That's what I want, I think. I don't want my body to rot and be eaten by worms. Apparently, during cremation, the body melts in the fire. I often imagine my face being distorted by the flames, my eyes disappearing first, until my skeleton is reduced to ashes.
I don't even know where those ashes should be scattered. I don't feel attached to any place. Even dead, I have nowhere to go.
