My flatmate is dating my ex-girl (broke up recently), it's pushing me into suicide.

[embrace_release]

Hi there, first post on this board.

First off: I've been struggling with depression for a while now, and I had suicidal thoughts for the last couple of years now, whenever things got bad. I'm longing to end it all for about 1-2 years, but never had the guts to do it.
I thought I couldn't drop any lower but here I am: Got fired at work, no plans for my future and my girl broke up with me. Now, this wouldn't be such a struggle cause I dealt with something familiar before, but now it's gotten to another level of fuckery.

My ex was always cool with one of my flatmates, they hung out in our flat and understood each other well. Now she broke up, confessed that she didn't love me and she's having feelings for him. I told him, his reaction was something along like 'Yea I woulnd't date your ex blahblah' but guess what, he did. I always mistrusted him so I spied on him one time and yes, I feel guilty for that. This rat was in my ex's flat. I confronted him shaking like crazy cause I was devastated, he confessed, said he was sorry and that he will stop his contact with her because he 'cared about my mental health'. I also offered him that he can confess whatever he wants to, so that I can have clarity about all this instead of getting backstabbed. (I can't deal with this.) Guess what, this piece of shit snuck out 2 days ago and spend the evening with her. After what he told me. After he already lied. He's denying so he doesn't look like a lying total piece of shit that he is to keep face in front of my other flatmates. Now he's trying to butter them up by cleaning the flat and trying to get their sympathy and I'm in fear that they won't see trough is bullshit.

I'm just so fucking lost. I never wanted to end it so badly and I already did the hanging test with a cable to see if I can choke my jugular veins but I can't seem to do it. I wanna remove this piece of garbage just as bad as myself. I don't wanna endure all this pain anymore. My other flatmates know about my suicidal tendencies and I'm scared that they'll suffer, I don't want them to. I want to put my blood on the hands of this piece of garbage, maybe then he'll realize what he's done. But I doubt it.
I can't live through all of this. It's just getting too much, even if this problem will somehow solve itself, there's a shit ton of much larger problems waiting outside the gate. I'm thinking of getting a gun illegaly (it's basically impossible to get one here the legal way) and blowing my brains out, letting everyone know that he wasn't the cause of my death, but was partially responsible for it.
Sorry for venting, I can't tell this anywhere else.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

At least they're not fucking in the adjacent bedroom divided by thin drywall. Jokes aside, that's really fucked up, relationships post industrial revolution is a massive mistake.

 

[orlandom]

I have a similar story. I'll tell you one thing. Time cures. It's true. But I didn't believe it. Try to give yourself time. And look what happens to that. I also think about suicide. But to be honest, every day it is 0.25% less than it was 2-3 months ago.

 

[embrace_release]

I have a similar story. I'll tell you one thing. Time cures. It's true. But I didn't believe it. Try to give yourself time. And look what happens to that. I also think about suicide. But to be honest, every day it is 0.25% less than it was 2-3 months ago.

How did it went for you?
I've already been betrayed before so my ability trust someone has been crippled badly, now I've opened up again and I'm getting hurt on another level of hell. I don't know if I'll ever recover from this.

 

[orlandom]

How did it went for you?
I've already been betrayed before so my ability trust someone has been crippled badly, now I've opened up again and I'm getting hurt on another level of hell. I don't know if I'll ever recover from this.

Friend. I'll tell you. This brings us incredible pain. But we are getting stronger.

 

[embrace_release]

I don't know dude. Maybe I'm too weak to grow. In the end, I can say that I've grown but I'll never get out of my depression. Who's winning here? I certainly don't. Honestly the only thing that keeps me going is my certainty that I'll have the strength to tie the noose to my loft bed in the foreseeable future. I'm lost in my pit of despair and lying fucks like him focused on what's best for him without care about others will survive. That's evolution.

 

[lofticries]

Your ex and your friend sound horrible. Especially when they knew you were going through some mental problems and still decided to mess around behind your back. Honestly you should be glad that they revealed their true colors instead of wasting more of your time. Chances are their newfound relationship might not last long considering both are pretty underhanded by nature. How you get them is how you lose them after all.

 

[embrace_release]

Your ex and your friend sound horrible. Especially when they knew you were going through some mental problems and still decided to mess around behind your back. Honestly you should be glad that they revealed their true colors instead of wasting more of your time. Chances are their newfound relationship might not last long considering both are pretty underhanded by nature. How you get them is how you lose them after all.

That last sentence is some bitter truth. I just can't create motivation out of this to push me trough this after hearing what she said to me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I have a similar story. I'll tell you one thing. Time cures. It's true. But I didn't believe it. Try to give yourself time. And look what happens to that. I also think about suicide. But to be honest, every day it is 0.25% less than it was 2-3 months ago.

I wish time cured it.

Its been years and I still hate their guts. Fucking useless pieces of shit. They told everyone to hide it from me too. I was literally the only one that didn't fucking know.

Basically, how much time? It's literally been years. 6-7.

 

[Greenberg]

All is fair in love and war! You can choose to mire in your misery; or pull yourself up by your bootstraps, dust yourself off, and move on. At least now, you know that the relationship was not meant to be between you and your Ex.

 

[Symbiote]

From a male perspective, think of it as "a bullet dodged". She most likely was hanging out with your flatmate while you were dating. Let them be together, she may monkey-branch to the next guy and he'll be lonely as well. Your flatmate for a lack of a better word, got sloppy seconds by dating her. Erase them both out of your lives and concentrate on yourself and eventually another one will come along that will respect you and your heart. You got her, you can get another.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

This genuinely made my blood boil and got me riled up. Your ex and flatmate sound like terrible people and I hope you manage to get your revenge on them somehow or that they otherwise get what's coming to them by way of cosmic retribution. Even if that won't solve anything it'll still feel better than potentially waiting for your mind to get over it because that always takes too damn long. They need to know that it's not okay to fuck with your emotions like that.

From what it sounds like, the "taboo" of it is probably what drove them further together in the first place. People like that are only motivated more by the idea that they shouldn't be together lest they ruin someone's life so I think fair's only fair and something needs to happen that will actually punish them for what they've done to you.

 

[embrace_release]

Thanks for the kind replies. I took a long walk today with my other flatmate and he's not buying into his bullshit. So that's a relief. He said a lot of helpful stuff and basically told me what some of you told me. The silver lining at the horizon is that he's moving out in a month or so (I forced him out), things will get a lot better once this subhuman left our lives.
No forgetting, no forgiving. He'll pay for what he's done, just not now, but that's for sure. Now it's time to heal and recover. I'll sit back and let this 27y/o chronically lying loser of a manchild with a weed addiction and god complex do what he's best at: fucking up and searching the next dopamine boost. If he doesn't OD on ketamine before his 30's, I'll do god's job. Nobody leaves this world without paying for their sins, that's my oath.

But hey, I don't feel as shitty as before, I currently don't wanna off myself anymore. Talking to friends really help, I feel really sorry for everyone who doesn't have this opportunity - sitting alone with your thoughts is the worst hell imagineable.
Again, thanks for the kind words. It's nice to hear that all of you think it's not my self worths fault, like my ex wanted me to believe.

Oh and thanks for the based department meme, made me chuckle.

 

[aneurysm]

relationships post industrial revolution is a massive mistake

Say it.. that everything started going downward when women started working rolf

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

You need to get out of there !!!!

Say it.. that everything started going downward when women started working rolf

I think it's more that due to global Zionist pillaging of hard working countries , women had to go into the workforce to increase profit for offshore Israeli companies.

has anyone noticed israel is getting a way higher vaccination rate despite the fact the vaccine was not invented there ? They are also genociding the Palestinians by not providing the vaccine to them

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Say it.. that everything started going downward when women started working rolf

Don't think you understand me, this isn't some basic bitch MRA redpill cringe.

 

[GarageKarate07]

You need to get out of there !!!!

I think it's more that due to global Zionist pillaging of hard working countries , women had to go into the workforce to increase profit for offshore Israeli companies.

has anyone noticed israel is getting a way higher vaccination rate despite the fact the vaccine was not invented there ? They are also genociding the Palestinians by not providing the vaccine to them

What? You mean to say that ISREAL has an agenda!? Gasp! I have never heard that before! LOL. Yeah Israel is fucked up. Like the states, we start all the wars with small countries then make rules on how to make war safer for everybody. We so kind like that. Our top leaders are so compassionate and underatanding that they vote for war all the time. Im glad I pay my taxes to theae lovely people. They really have humanities best interests at heart. D-bags.....

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Hi there, first post on this board.

First off: I've been struggling with depression for a while now, and I had suicidal thoughts for the last couple of years now, whenever things got bad. I'm longing to end it all for about 1-2 years, but never had the guts to do it.
I thought I couldn't drop any lower but here I am: Got fired at work, no plans for my future and my girl broke up with me. Now, this wouldn't be such a struggle cause I dealt with something familiar before, but now it's gotten to another level of fuckery.

My ex was always cool with one of my flatmates, they hung out in our flat and understood each other well. Now she broke up, confessed that she didn't love me and she's having feelings for him. I told him, his reaction was something along like 'Yea I woulnd't date your ex blahblah' but guess what, he did. I always mistrusted him so I spied on him one time and yes, I feel guilty for that. This rat was in my ex's flat. I confronted him shaking like crazy cause I was devastated, he confessed, said he was sorry and that he will stop his contact with her because he 'cared about my mental health'. I also offered him that he can confess whatever he wants to, so that I can have clarity about all this instead of getting backstabbed. (I can't deal with this.) Guess what, this piece of shit snuck out 2 days ago and spend the evening with her. After what he told me. After he already lied. He's denying so he doesn't look like a lying total piece of shit that he is to keep face in front of my other flatmates. Now he's trying to butter them up by cleaning the flat and trying to get their sympathy and I'm in fear that they won't see trough is bullshit.

I'm just so fucking lost. I never wanted to end it so badly and I already did the hanging test with a cable to see if I can choke my jugular veins but I can't seem to do it. I wanna remove this piece of garbage just as bad as myself. I don't wanna endure all this pain anymore. My other flatmates know about my suicidal tendencies and I'm scared that they'll suffer, I don't want them to. I want to put my blood on the hands of this piece of garbage, maybe then he'll realize what he's done. But I doubt it.
I can't live through all of this. It's just getting too much, even if this problem will somehow solve itself, there's a shit ton of much larger problems waiting outside the gate. I'm thinking of getting a gun illegaly (it's basically impossible to get one here the legal way) and blowing my brains out, letting everyone know that he wasn't the cause of my death, but was partially responsible for it.
Sorry for venting, I can't tell this anywhere else.

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you! Personally l would move out of possible and leave the the rat and your lowlife skank of a ex girlfriend and start again, does either them have a car l can tell you how to put their cars out of commission permanently if you like with no come backs on you! But staying in the same abode as them two Weasels is Not a good idea for you, You need to get out of their Fast as possible! I hope you do ok Friend! Mouse

 

[aneurysm]

Don't think you understand me, this isn't some basic bitch MRA redpill cringe.

okay. as for me, I'd have preferred to live in the era where women weren't expected to wageslave. but some hysterical bitch had to ruin it for everyone. Imagine whining because you can't work. Jesus Christ.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

okay, as for me, I'd have preferred to live in the era where women weren't expected to wageslave. but some hysterical bitch had to ruin it for everyone. Imagine whining because you can't work. Jesus Christ.

Would really depend on your husband. Imagine you get arranged marriage to someone unattractive, poor, alcoholic, that rapes you on the daily.

 

[fixitinpost]

I'm glad you're able to yeet these people from your life, OP. The less contact you have with them, the sooner you can get through this. It's like getting stabbed: time will never heal the wound if the knife is still in. Please don't do what you suggest. No woman (or man) is worth dying over, and it's not going to play out that way. The best revenge is to overcome and move on to better things. I know it hurts like fuck, but you can do this my man.

You seem to put most of the blame on the roommate, but they share that blame. The not shitty thing they could have done was to hold their horses a bit so that he hopefully would have been able to move out, instead of giving you front row center tickets to their dating show and messing with your living conditions.

I wish time cured it.

Its been years and I still hate their guts. Fucking useless pieces of shit. They told everyone to hide it from me too. I was literally the only one that didn't fucking know.

Basically, how much time? It's literally been years. 6-7.

I don't think "being cured" has to mean that you have shed all feelings about something. Because it would be really hard to do that. The important thing, I think, is whether those feelings push you down or not. Are anger and hate the only things you feel when you're reminded of all that? Because they can be healthy feelings. They can signify that a boundary has been established, and can give you energy.

And @Daisy: Just take the L on this one. You can't say godawful stuff like that and then be upset/surprised that people (rightfully) call you out for it. You being a woman or trying to be funny doesn't mean anything. And if I had a nickel for every time someone has been called out for casual misogyny or racism and tried to pass it off as a joke, I'd probably be buying y'all a round of beer.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm really sorry you're going through this.
If there's really a hell, those people will be going there undoubtedly.