Hey there. My account is brand new but I've been lurking here for a few months and have chosen my method to ctb (SN with nighty-night as a back up) based on the things I've read here. I suppose I wanted to say "thank you" aloud to show my appreciation for the existence of this site since it has probably saved me from a more painful end, or much worse than that, a more distant one. I'm planning on having my affairs in order and being on my way in 5-6 days so I won't be around here long.
I have almost everything ready to go but my situation is a bit odd in that I've been staying in a motel recently since I'm effectively homeless. I would like to cause the minimum amount of trouble I can so I also plan on sending a timed email to the police so they can send someone mentally prepared to do whatever needs to be done. I'll have the email set to be sent 6 hours or so after I start, I'm hoping that's enough of a time gap to regain consciousness and regroup in the unfortunate event I pass out but failed to take a lethal dose.
I do feel bad about doing it on someone else's property but I feel bad about several other things like not having the money to pay for my own final expenses or a few of the people I know who will be shaken up by this but... them's the breaks. Ultimately no matter what I do it will cause problems and given my circumstances like time and money constraints I think I've come up with the best method I can. If anyone has any advice or anything I'll read it though.
Beyond that... I think the only worthwhile thing to mention is that I'm going to do something a bit odd with my notes. I plan on writing three, one akin to a will, a basic apology, and a sealed envelope containing "the truth" of my situation. I have only one person I care about in this world and I want her to have the last two, but I don't necessarily want her to unseal the last one. In the second note I'll tell her that as long as she never reads the third one it can contain any story she wants, she can imagine anything at all that can give her comfort and it will be impossible for it to be "wrong" since the truth does tangibly exist inside the envelope but also outside the knowledge of any living human. It might sound more cruel than kind but I think it will help her understand things better which will hopefully help her heal faster. And yeah I did straight up steal the idea from a certain popular visual novel.
Well thanks for reading my blog post, once things get going in a few days I'll update you all on the happenings.
I have almost everything ready to go but my situation is a bit odd in that I've been staying in a motel recently since I'm effectively homeless. I would like to cause the minimum amount of trouble I can so I also plan on sending a timed email to the police so they can send someone mentally prepared to do whatever needs to be done. I'll have the email set to be sent 6 hours or so after I start, I'm hoping that's enough of a time gap to regain consciousness and regroup in the unfortunate event I pass out but failed to take a lethal dose.
I do feel bad about doing it on someone else's property but I feel bad about several other things like not having the money to pay for my own final expenses or a few of the people I know who will be shaken up by this but... them's the breaks. Ultimately no matter what I do it will cause problems and given my circumstances like time and money constraints I think I've come up with the best method I can. If anyone has any advice or anything I'll read it though.
Beyond that... I think the only worthwhile thing to mention is that I'm going to do something a bit odd with my notes. I plan on writing three, one akin to a will, a basic apology, and a sealed envelope containing "the truth" of my situation. I have only one person I care about in this world and I want her to have the last two, but I don't necessarily want her to unseal the last one. In the second note I'll tell her that as long as she never reads the third one it can contain any story she wants, she can imagine anything at all that can give her comfort and it will be impossible for it to be "wrong" since the truth does tangibly exist inside the envelope but also outside the knowledge of any living human. It might sound more cruel than kind but I think it will help her understand things better which will hopefully help her heal faster. And yeah I did straight up steal the idea from a certain popular visual novel.
Well thanks for reading my blog post, once things get going in a few days I'll update you all on the happenings.
