My family makes me want to blow my brains out

[m3nhera]

It's as if that's their only purpose. I wonder how many people here have been driven to suicide/are suicidal because(or even just partially because) of family so I'm doing a poll. Are you suicidal only because of family?

 

[DoomsdayCTB]

YES. OMG. The other night, I was sobbing because my Narc Mom was screaming at me as usual (and I'm almost 40 living back at home, sad long story). And I'm just like wow this bitch doesn't know she just signed my death warrant. But I do believe real Narcs are actual murderers. It's just psychological... but I believe their goal is to get people to commit suicide.

 

[chaotic_crow]

Literally just had to pack up my belongings to strap on the back of my wheelchair to leave out for the streets because I overheard my grandma talking shit about me to my aunt. They hate me for being disabled, like it's my fault or I'm just lazy and don't wanna do anything. I literally lost everything and my family thinks I'm the biggest piece of shit. Everything I do gets spun into something it's not and then they all get around and make things up about me and act like everyone is telling the truth

 

[insectontrial]

Partly because of my parents, yes.

 

[DoomsdayCTB]

Literally just had to pack up my belongings to strap on the back of my wheelchair to leave out for the streets because I overheard my grandma talking shit about me to my aunt. They hate me for being disabled, like it's my fault or I'm just lazy and don't wanna do anything. I literally lost everything and my family thinks I'm the biggest piece of shit. Everything I do gets spun into something it's not and then they all get around and make things up about me and act like everyone is telling the truth

Yeah, I'm most likely going to be homeless, but in my car... i've done a lot of research and it's actually quite difficult to live in the car when you're in chronic pain. I'm so sorry you're in this situation, there has to be resources for someone in your case. If you haven't, please get in touch with the county resources (if you're in the states)... hell maybe get into the psych ward for a few days, for free food and shelter. They will definitely help you find temp housing since you are disabled. I hope you are in the US. Canada might be just as helpful.

 

[chaotic_crow]

Yeah, I'm most likely going to be homeless, but in my car... i've done a lot of research and it's actually quite difficult to live in the car when you're in chronic pain. I'm so sorry you're in this situation, there has to be resources for someone in your case. If you haven't, please get in touch with the county resources (if you're in the states)... hell maybe get into the psych ward for a few days, for free food and shelter. They will definitely help you find temp housing since you are disabled. I hope you are in the US. Canada might be just as helpful.

I hear you on the chronic pain, it's rough. I've kinda given up on housing/shelters honestly. If I have to I'll definitely go to the psychward for food and rest, I'll probably need it after a few days but there really aren't wheelchair accessible shelters in my state. Even the ones that say they are, they really aren't accessable for me and my OCD cannot handle seeing even one more bedbug. I've had entire meltdowns about the bugs and filth in the shelters

 

[m3nhera]

YES. OMG. The other night, I was sobbing because my Narc Mom was screaming at me as usual (and I'm almost 40 living back at home, sad long story). And I'm just like wow this bitch doesn't know she just signed my death warrant. But I do believe real Narcs are actual murderers. It's just psychological... but I believe their goal is to get people to commit suicide.

I FEEL THAT WAY TOO AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!!! I think people who force us to commit suicide are murderers but nobody sees it that way because they didn't physically stab you or something. But it IS murder. They are murderers and force us to die but because it was suicide everyone says it was a choice, but a real choice doesn't involve pressure or outside influence, it's about what we want as individuals. They coerce people into killing themselves. I'm only 18 and the thought of dying at the hands of some shitty parents is so sad, I'll just be another statistic. I don't want to give in but they make it so difficult not to. Because this sounds like such a reach I must clarify I am NOT one of those people who thinks abortion is murder, that is completely different and literally not. Also, I have reasons for being stuck at home and having no job too, so I'm not judging that you're 40 and had to go back to living with them. Life is unfair.

Literally just had to pack up my belongings to strap on the back of my wheelchair to leave out for the streets because I overheard my grandma talking shit about me to my aunt. They hate me for being disabled, like it's my fault or I'm just lazy and don't wanna do anything. I literally lost everything and my family thinks I'm the biggest piece of shit. Everything I do gets spun into something it's not and then they all get around and make things up about me and act like everyone is telling the truth

I KNOW WHY DO FAMILIES DO THIS OH MY GOD?!??? It drives me insane to no end, also I don't understand their(and society's) view on disabled people as if you CHOSE to be disabled, and then they treat you like shit because of it, when it could've been them if they were just a little less lucky. Life is so unfair as I've said before and I'm sorry your family is driving you to this state of mind aswell. I think family honestly makes any kind of chronic illness 10x worse.

 

[Forever Sleep]

My ideation began because of family issues. Now, it's more that I'm just so tired of life itself. Although- without those family issues to begin with, I likely would have turned out a different person, on a different path. I've tried multiple times to change the path I was on. I'm too tired to keep fighting now. I just want to rest.

The irony I think is when pro- lifers insist we need to stay for these people. People who may well have caused or contributed to all these problems to begin with! It's kind of astounding really- that they insist we still owe them- not to cause them pain- when I suspect many suicidal people were greatly damaged first by their families.

 

[chaotic_crow]

I FEEL THAT WAY TOO AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!!! I think people who force us to commit suicide are murderers but nobody sees it that way because they didn't physically stab you or something. But it IS murder. They are murderers and force us to die but because it was suicide everyone says it was a choice, but a real choice doesn't involve pressure or outside influence, it's about what we want as individuals. They coerce people into killing themselves. I'm only 18 and the thought of dying at the hands of some shitty parents is so sad, I'll just be another statistic. I don't want to give in but they make it so difficult not to. Because this sounds like such a reach I must clarify I am NOT one of those people who thinks abortion is murder, that is completely different and literally not. Also, I have reasons for being stuck at home and having no job too, so I'm not judging that you're 40 and had to go back to living with them. Life is unfair.


I KNOW WHY DO FAMILIES DO THIS OH MY GOD?!??? It drives me insane to no end, also I don't understand their(and society's) view on disabled people as if you CHOSE to be disabled, and then they treat you like shit because of it, when it could've been them if they were just a little less lucky. Life is so unfair as I've said before and I'm sorry your family is driving you to this state of mind aswell. I think family honestly makes any kind of chronic illness 10x worse.

What's even better is my aunt (the one shit talking) is now experiencing some serious health issues and everyone is so concerned for her and how she's doing. I don't understand what it is about me that's so damn bad

 

[m3nhera]

What's even better is my aunt (the one shit talking) is now experiencing some serious health issues and everyone is so concerned for her and how she's doing. I don't understand what it is about me that's so damn bad

It's nothing really our families are just evil and out to get us as corny as that sounds lol, it's true

My ideation began because of family issues. Now, it's more that I'm just so tired of life itself. Although- without those family issues to begin with, I likely would have turned out a different person, on a different path. I've tried multiple times to change the path I was on. I'm too tired to keep fighting now. I just want to rest.

The irony I think is when pro- lifers insist we need to stay for these people. People who may well have caused or contributed to all these problems to begin with! It's kind of astounding really- that they insist we still owe them- not to cause them pain- when I suspect many suicidal people were greatly damaged first by their families.

ARE WE THE SAME PERSON?!?? Sorry for all caps it's just everyone under this post makes me feel so understood, even though I know I'm not the only one, toxic families have a way of making us feel isolated and alienated. I also am just tired of life now and agree that if the family issues didn't exist from the start, things might not have turned out this way. Especially the last thing you said, obviously anyone can be suicidal regardless and it's valid either way, I just think that the MAJORITY of suicidal people were hurt by their family in some way, it's their fault, yet we are blamed for wanting to die. People undermine their role in the suicide rate. It's been very, very rare for me to meet a suicidal person who had a perfectly good family that treated them well and everything.

 

[PanaxMan]

It's as if that's their only purpose. I wonder how many people here have been driven to suicide/are suicidal because(or even just partially because) of family so I'm doing a poll. Are you suicidal only because of family?

True for me at least

 

[PainThreshold]

Fucking deranged lunatic, earlier this morning I asked her to pay for the tuition fees and she fucking used it againts me.

Should have fucking let the univ drop me out.

This is not the fucking first time she ever did this.

 

[whywere]

I have ZERO family, so nope.

Mine is caused by massive depression and 24/7 chronic pain.

Walter

 

[m3nhera]

Fucking deranged lunatic, earlier this morning I asked her to pay for the tuition fees and she fucking used it againts me.

Should have fucking let the univ drop me out.

This is not the fucking first time she ever did this.

They will literally use anything and EVERYTHING against you regardless of if it's fair I hate it so much, I'm sorry for you and all the other people who can't be free due to these evil people

I have ZERO family, so nope.

Mine is caused by massive depression and 24/7 chronic pain.

Walter

I'm sorry :(. Still sucks either way, I hope your pain eases someday. Science is always advancing, maybe there will be better treatment in the future?

 

[Lamentice]

My family/developmental years is certainly the root of most my troubles, but I'm estranged and have been estranged from most of them for years now, so can't say it actively impacts me much anymore. But I mean- the developmental years are fundamental to your perception of reality, navigation of decisions and life, and personality/mannerisms/behaviors, it creates the baseline, so if it's fucked up then yeah...

 

[violetforever]

i dont know if i should say mainly or entirely. even all my other reasons come back to them too. if theres ever a thread involving family, im probably already there .-.

Although- without those family issues to begin with, I likely would have turned out a different person, on a different path. I've tried multiple times to change the path I was on. I'm too tired to keep fighting now. I just want to rest.

i also cant help but think who i couldve been or what my life couldve been if i just had a decent family. all of their abuse has led me to more abuse and self harm. i know people go through worse than i do and overcome it but im just too weak. i feel like all my attempts at trying eventually fail because it all comes down to me being too weak.

I do believe real Narcs are actual murderers. It's just psychological... but I believe their goal is to get people to commit suicide.

oh they would love that…

 

[m3nhera]

My family/developmental years is certainly the root of most my troubles, but I'm estranged and have been estranged from most of them for years now, so can't say it actively impacts me much anymore. But I mean- the developmental years are fundamental to your perception of reality, navigation of decisions and life, and personality/mannerisms/behaviors, it creates the baseline, so if it's fucked up then yeah...

Yes this, even when you're older, they still ruined your developmental years. The foundation.

 

[darksouls]

mine is caused by chronic pain,
my mother destroyed me mentally and emotionally,
that is why I moved far away from my toxic family

 

[witchcraft]

Been searching threads on here to find a home; this is it. Or maybe it's more like couch surfing, or a hostel...

The cherry on top is blowing my brains out is even the way I would want to do it. I call shotgun.

My parents are nowhere near as bad as some of ya'll, but honestly, I wish that I had never been born. ~30y/o NEET living at home, useless worthless pile of shit degree, applied for 100+ jobs the past few years and nothing. But don't worry, regular reminders from my mom about how I'm a financial burden.

I'm done. I give up. Not even sure if it'd be worth it if I somehow managed to get a job at this point that would allow me to get the fuck out of here. I'm done done. Overcooked done. Burnt.

 

[yukisopathetic]

It's as if that's their only purpose. I wonder how many people here have been driven to suicide/are suicidal because(or even just partially because) of family so I'm doing a poll. Are you suicidal only because of family?

partly. when i was younger it definitely contributed to my low self esteem and other mental issues. i also notice that when my relationship with my family worsens, i become much more suicidal. actually my family probably contributes a lot but not intentionally, so i only say partly.

 

[suncide10]

I just don't feel like their son, we were never close. I don't have any feelings towards my parents especially dad and I don't trust them.
My dad doesn't love us, he always criticizes my mom and never admits his mistakes. It hurts to see my mom suffer like this but she has nowhere to go and I can't do shit about it either. I'm also tired of the war happening between everyone in my family, why can't they just live in peace.
I feel so lonely because nobody knows me and I don't have anyone I can trust.