My family and bf won't help

[Autumn_Stars]

Both my mother and my BF said that they would help me apply to Dignitas. My mother called Dignitas when I was in-patient to tell them I had been beaten and sexually assaulted. The hospital is being sued by Disability Rights NJ for being worse than a prison. She said she would help me get justice when I got out. I have severe cognitive deficits due to my autoimmune disease so when I got out of the hospital in April I begged them to help me get my medical records for Dignitas. I finally started the process myself and am now getting calls that I have done it incorrectly. I have lost everything. My career, my sanity, my friends, my salary, my term paper mill, my car, my house, my Alcor membership. I lose money every day. I am in extreme physical and mental pain. It is progressive and incurable. But I worry because of the mental health factor Dignitas will reject me. I have tried overdosing on Christmas Eve and laying outside in my underwear soaking wet in freezing temperatures all night long. Paratransit has it written in my file that I get confused easily. How can I expect to make the journey to Switzerland by myself? How is it that Canada and Switzerland can be so progressive and in this country I get locked up away from everything I love for my desire to be free of pain and hopelessness? Like a criminal. I used to type 80 wpm and now 20. No memory. Can't read any more. I used to say as long as I could enjoy a cup of coffee I would want to live. How wrong I was.

 

[yoshizoom]

Both my mother and my BF said that they would help me apply to Dignitas. My mother called Dignitas when I was in-patient to tell them I had been beaten and sexually assaulted. The hospital is being sued by Disability Rights NJ for being worse than a prison. She said she would help me get justice when I got out. I have severe cognitive deficits due to my autoimmune disease so when I got out of the hospital in April I begged them to help me get my medical records for Dignitas. I finally started the process myself and am now getting calls that I have done it incorrectly. I have lost everything. My career, my sanity, my friends, my salary, my term paper mill, my car, my house, my Alcor membership. I lose money every day. I am in extreme physical and mental pain. It is progressive and incurable. But I worry because of the mental health factor Dignitas will reject me. I have tried overdosing on Christmas Eve and laying outside in my underwear soaking wet in freezing temperatures all night long. Paratransit has it written in my file that I get confused easily. How can I expect to make the journey to Switzerland by myself? How is it that Canada and Switzerland can be so progressive and in this country I get locked up away from everything I love for my desire to be free of pain and hopelessness? Like a criminal. I used to type 80 wpm and now 20. No memory. Can't read any more. I used to say as long as I could enjoy a cup of coffee I would want to live. How wrong I was.

I'm so sorry ur going through this. I'm going through something similar where I feel both physical and mental discomfort which had led me to be unemployed for over this past year. I feel like I've gone dumb and the brain fog is too much. I've lost my sanity long ago but I'm trying really hard to pick up the pieces. And yeah I've had bad experiences with hospitals. They just treated me like a number and not a human being. Everyday is a battle to the death with me and I'm sure it's the same with you.