Discussion my euthanesia process and still want to do it myself

[cursum.perficio]

Yeah they are supporting me.
But for friends it's still a shock and disbelieve but they do understand. In the beginning they didn't think i would go on with it

You are incredibly lucky to have family supporting your decision, and to live in a nation that allows such a fundamental right.
I wish my country was like the Netherlands. I wish you the best.

 

[chris8000]

I have always liked the Dutch people I have met, they have a reputation for being nice, and they have humane euthanasia laws as far as I can see. Although I am not an expert on their system.

I guess it must be frustrating that it takes so long, but I think they want to be sure that you aren't going to get better which makes sense to me. Quite a few of the people that want to sign up to this must get better and change their mind, so they must be filtered out and protected.

Almost there now @Berlin76

Thanks for the update and wishing you all the best.

 

[person123]

.

I took a sip and started gagging so had to spit it out so not drink. This is because domperidon is not right to do the job. Also had mixed it with syrup and it turned bkue for some reason hahaha
I november 2018 i did a test and drank 2ml this made me vomit this test was without anti emetics.

So I should not take domperidon?

 

[EGR92]

Ok, just want to share this to vent myself a bit.

So I am a older member by now since 2018 oktober more or less, under my old name ddutch

Last year august 2019 I applied myself for euthanesia
It was a long time waiting for me due to depression ptsd and A cluster disorder i have decided to end my life.
I had Nembetul from A but i failled last august becasue i only had domperidon.
the waitinglist of euthanesia was over a year.
So i had my attemp last august and it was horrible to fail and just needed to start over again.

Now last month november 5 I had my first interview with The end of life clinic .
Fucking been waiting for over a year end from one at the other momment they just called and told me they come on 5 november.
it was like it always is with psychologist just an interview of a hour.
The main purpose was that they had to explain the guide lines for the process of my case for my euthanesia.
First they said no telling how long precise it could take but moste of the time its around 8 months.
They dont procede when i start forcing them to hurry up with the whole process or when i use suicide or just the words to force them
then they will stop ofcourse. also that i would have to see a external psychiatrist who would examen my case and their work on my case.
If that person give A Go than they can procede with my case, but it can also happen this person would sugest more therapy.
But this is not likely because I already had 7 years of therapy with 3 clinics .

After this they will present my case to a second external person who will examen my total case to see if they have checked everything.
So this part is more for the justice department so they wont get persucuted by the justice department for murder.
because when they dont follow the rulls of the law than the euthanesia can be seen as murder.

By now I had also my second interview .
They have a clear picture of my case and they can see my hopeless and unbearable suffering.
They already had planned the interview with the external pshychtriatrist in upcoming january.
So that made me happy sort off because normally this takes months to have a opening for a interview like that.
But this day with the second interview I really was in a bad place mentaly, I hardly spoke with them.
I was just zoned out and filled with anger and sorrow and depressed feeling this day my family was talking mostly .
they ended the inteview by telling they can see my mental hopeless and unbearable suffering.

Still I am a sort of supriced I have the interview so fast now, this is feeling good.
But still there is a part of me that wants tocommit suicide myself and not with the help of the organisation.
Also because daily it takes long all these months.
But everytime it is only for family i delay it because they want me to go with euthanesia.
This is just just f*** breaking me up mentaly also.

I did tell me mom I am making sure I have backup for when they dont honour my request for euthanesia

Anyway some here ask me to tell how it goes and wanted to hear the process when it started, so it started

Hi, Can i just ask, did you make an attempt with N but failed due to not having the right anti sickness medication?

 

[rhiino]

He is not alive anymore. Yes, he did not have Meto, gagged and aborted.

 

[Cantbereal]

So the last part has started.
Today I had my third interview with the euthanasia team. We talked about the coming 2 weeks where i need to talk with a external psychiatrist.

We also talked in general how things have been for me since application and during the process of examining my case.
Also if i am still behind my decision of euthanasia.

At one moment I explained how I felt the last years and how I changed since my second trauma and how that changed me.
And how I came to this point that my resilience is broken including my trust in everything. This is not like normal life anymore so how can you enjoy when i can't feel real joy.

Also talked about the point in August when i attempted to commit suicide with the use of N where i failed. But how calm i felt sitting their on bed with it next to me.

Than the point came she said that they are convinced that she knows i am competent and its from my own will and they can see the pain. She told me to wait and not try it myself anymore. From that point she said lets make some dates for the last part when after you can Die.

She added yes you still have to get approved by the doctor next week, but she will see what we see in your case that consist out of ptsd, chronicle depression and some other things.

After this she walked me through of how it will be. Also asking if i still want to drink it myself their cocktail of N, and added that she will give an extra doses after 30 minutes. They told me that when its all good it will be just a few months to round things up.

So I really have the impression its in the green and it is almost time to die..

I will make a update after the interviews of the next 2 weeks.

That's amazing you told a suiicide attempt and they still take you! I'm so jealous! I wish I could apply.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

If I had this option and could plan a day with my loved ones aware and involved, then just have to suffer maybe another year tops but knowing my time was coming and it would be peaceful, humane, and entirely accepted….I would live so much fucking happier.