my desire to live lasted 5 days....

[Defenestration]

End now

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

The body is very crafty, it will do anything to survive.

 

[Defenestration]

:-(

 

[Defenestration]

I want to die

 

[Agon321]

I want to die

If it makes you feel any better, we all die sooner or later ;).
I know it's obvious, but thinking this way helps me a little.
I like to think that no matter what the future holds, death awaits me at the end of this road.
Sooner or later, the clown's life will come to an end and maybe new opportunities will appear...or nothingness. Who knows.

I wouldn't be surprised if this world killed me before I did. That would be ironic.

 

[Fangarina]

Noooo where did your Zen god go?

I'm sorry you are back in this head space, I'm hopeful it won't be for long and your little bursts of peace make an appearance again soon.
I'm super proud of you though, 5 days - that's still 5 days more than you thought you'd have last time we checked in. Has anything happened?

 

[Defenestration]

Happy to be alive 8 octobre - 12 october

 

[Defenestration]

Si cela peut vous rassurer, nous mourrons tous tôt ou tard ;).
Je sais que c'est évident, mais penser de cette façon m'aide un peu.
J'aime penser que peu importe ce que l'avenir me réserve, la mort m'attend au bout de cette route.
Tôt ou tard, la vie du clown prendra fin et peut-être de nouvelles opportunités apparaîtront... ou le néant. Qui sait.

Je ne serais pas surpris si ce monde me tuait avant moi. Ce serait ironique.

I cant wait

 

[Defenestration]

I hâte live

 

[Fangarina]

I hâte live

How are you today?
Hoping some of the zen has slipped back in a little for you today

 

[Defenestration]

How are you today?
Hoping some of the zen has slipped back in a little for you today

a little better...but I don't like this state either I would like to be cured or very bad for ctb

 

[Fangarina]

a little better...but I don't like this state either I would like to be cured or very bad for ctb

I get that. It's like a weird limbo. I have went out my way to intentionally self sabotage just to feel that dysfunctional way because I know no better, and it feels safe (in a weird way).

 

[Defenestration]

my psychologist made me understand that a cure would not be possible that I had to make do with it...