UninformedLover
If you see me active on here...its gotten worse...
- Nov 12, 2019
- 265
Today while my dad was working he witnessed a suicide. A lady had jumped from her building and fell to the ground with a hard thud. He told me how seeing the lady's mangled up body completely destroyed him. Listening to my dad's emotional spiel really resonated with me. Now I feel as guilty as every. How could I possibly enact such suffering to my own dad, the man who has done everything and more for me? As he was telling me how he felt he was staring deep into my eyes as if the message was really for me. As if he was telling me how he'd be ruined if I killed myself. If that makes sense. He knows I am depressed and suicidal. Now I feel terrible almost like a complete jerk. How selfish of me to pass on my suffering to someone else. I read somewhere that your suffering never really goes away, it just gets passed along. I don't know what to do anymore. To continue to suffer in order to spare someone else's feelings is selfish but to pass my pain to others is selfish as well. What a conundrum.