Venting My “college experience” is screwed

[Stick]

I feel so numb. Every so often, I find myself preparing to ctb , excited for it to end. I find myself ready to leave, tired of fighting the same battle but I can't do it. I can't leave my family right now there is too much going on in their lives, I cant do that to them. I always fucking get detoured.

So, fine. I'm stuck here. But like, it's not all bad, I right? I mean, I don't have the worst life I can have. My family is supportive of me, I have a bit of money, I'm sure I can give myself something enjoyable for a bit. That's what I figure. I think to myself, "I'll give myself some experiences I'd enjoy before I go.

So a few months ago, I sign up for college, which of course is all online. Even though I'm fucking craving socialization so bad since I already did a year of online school, moved cities, and completely drifted apart from my kind-of-friends, I'm trying to look on the bright side. And life decides yet again to show me its dark side.

This semester of college should have been free. I was going to get a scholarship that would pay for all of my tuition, and I knew how to torrent my textbooks so no money down there either. Then my high school fucks up my transcript and reports my gpa as a fucking 2.04. I got straight As for almost all of high school, who the fuck to decided all my goddamn work and effort to amount to a 2.04?!? I worked my ass off for four years just to not get anything for it. Needless to say, I got no scholarship. I had to pay all of it if course, because what was I supposed to tell my family? Oh, jk I didn't actually want a higher education, I just wanted to fuck around for free for a few months before I kill myself. That money was going to be there to make sure my family won't be burdened financially when I die. Now, it's worthless.

This isn't even everything, just the recent thing, you know? Yet, it's almost nothing compared to what some of you guys are going through right now. All my love goes to everyone here. This all happened a while ago but I'm still not over it. I just need to get it all out If my head.

How am I supposed to convey my emotions and get them out of my head in a few paragraphs? I don't know. But I guess I got it out, I already feel a bit better, at least for now.

 

[valentine]

I'm sorry you're going through all this. It sounds extremely frustrating and stressful. I hope you know that no one's judging you for having "lesser" struggles than others on here. Just because you think someone else is going through worse doesn't make it hurt any less. What you're going through sounds very overwhelming and I understand why you feel the way you do. I'm glad you were able to write it all out and feel a bit better. Hope you're doing okay.

 

[Stick]

I'm sorry you're going through all this. It sounds extremely frustrating and stressful. I hope you know that no one's judging you for having "lesser" struggles than others on here. Just because you think someone else is going through worse doesn't make it hurt any less. What you're going through sounds very overwhelming and I understand why you feel the way you do. I'm glad you were able to write it all out and feel a bit better. Hope you're doing okay.

Thank you, that means a lot to me. I really appreciate being listened to even if it's from people I don't even know and I'll probably never know. I'm feeling a little better now after writing all of that, the situation still sucks but it's nice to finally get my feelings out. I hope you are doing okay too .

 

[draw a circle]

That sounds hard... even though you did such a great job. I'm more or less the same, loving family, financially supported, did well in school and college, but got stuck doing my thesis. My family is going through a rough patch too, and I've always been pessimistic towards the future.... I feel like dying is a possibility. How did your school fucks up your transcript anyway? That sucks. I hope things will get better for you.

Also, I like your pfp, Shijima Mei, right? Nice

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

This sounds like a high school error. Can they not correct it? That's a horribly big mistake on their part.

 

[Stick]

Also, I like your pfp, Shijima Mei, right? Nice

It is her, thank you! And I'm not sure how they screwed up. I had a bad semester in senior year because I was going through a lot, and I think they only counted my grades from that one semester for some reason. Someone was just really lazy.

This sounds like a high school error. Can they not correct it? That's a horribly big mistake on their part.

They have corrected it finally, my real GPA is almost 3.7. But, It's too late to get that scholarship now, and the scholarship is also set up so that you can renew it in your second semester, but you can't get it if you never had it in the first place. Basically, even though they fixed the GPA I don't get to benefit from it, especially since I'm (hopefully) going to die before next semester even starts. It's a huge mistake on their part.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

I grew up in the 1950's and '60's and being female, I was supposed to become a good wife and mother. College was not an option. Well, that fell apart with a divorce and I ended up a single mom, barely able to support my children.

At age 40, I realized I would always be poor unless I learned a way to earn a living. But at what? I spent a year thinking about that, made lists of what I was good at, what I liked, and what I wasn't good at and didn't like. Enrolled in a community college and I will never forget that first day. I was so thrilled, so excited, I cried tears of joy as I walked onto campus. I knew it would change my life and it did! I became a nurse, graduated with honors, got a good job that I loved and was very good at it

If I had my life to live over again, I would have become a nurse right out of high school. I asked my parents to "let" me join the military and get trained by them (no $), but they nixed that. I was only 17 and too young. So I took the path of least resistance then. I regret it to this day.

If you don't want to go to school now, I suggest you do some thinking about what you like to do and try different things. Part time job or something that lets you see how it feels.

Nowdays, everybody goes to college. If I had a child now, I would suggest a trade. You know what I pay plumbers, electricians, crafts people when I need one? Over $100/hour! And they have such a backlog of work, it is hard to find someone who is available. And you can be your own boss.

Think about it.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

College experience is a scam. In US it's designed to trap you into a debt plantation from which you cannot escape