Retched
I see the chaos in your eyes.
- Oct 8, 2018
- 837
Brilliant! That's me.
ouvreyes
ｼシ
- Oct 7, 2018
- 131
Peace, man. Safe travels.
hugs
wishing you peace either way
wishing you peace either way
sadsoul
Alive and unwell
- Sep 9, 2018
- 440
Going to do it now.
Goodbye, I love you all <3
Goodbye, I love you all <3
ForestLove
Jus wanna be a tree
- Oct 16, 2018
- 236
Gentle and peaceful journey ahead.
Goodbye and hugs to you :)
sadsoul
Alive and unwell
- Sep 9, 2018
- 440
Well, this is awkward, I'm still here. The survival instinct fucked me up. I leaned into the noose multiple times, always got the tingly sensations, was close to passing out and then I chickened out every fucking time, until it was too late to try again because my brother came home. On my previous attempts I never had a probIem with the survival instinct but this time the survival instinct kicked in especially hard because I knew that I would definitely die if I passed out. Also probably another reason why I chickened out is because of this community. Your kindness is literally keeping me alive.
I feel shitty and really exhausted but also kinda relieved at the same time. I think this attempt was a good learning experience. The mistakes I made were that I didn't drink alcohol to weaken the survival instinct and I think I rushed it a bit. I wasn't quite ready to ctb, even though I thought I was. Anyway, I don't know when I'm going to attempt again, for now I'm just gonna stay on this forum.
Thank you to everyone who kept me in their thoughts, and I'm really really sorry if I made anyone sad.
PS: Now I can really relate to Deafsn0w failing partial suspension.
I feel shitty and really exhausted but also kinda relieved at the same time. I think this attempt was a good learning experience. The mistakes I made were that I didn't drink alcohol to weaken the survival instinct and I think I rushed it a bit. I wasn't quite ready to ctb, even though I thought I was. Anyway, I don't know when I'm going to attempt again, for now I'm just gonna stay on this forum.
Thank you to everyone who kept me in their thoughts, and I'm really really sorry if I made anyone sad.
PS: Now I can really relate to Deafsn0w failing partial suspension.
dysfunctional
Arcanist
- Oct 26, 2018
- 459
Been through the same thing. Turns out its not that easy to kill yourself. And yes, this site is helpful, if only to know that other people are dealing with the same thing.
ForestLove
Jus wanna be a tree
- Oct 16, 2018
- 236
When I read your goodbye post, I can sense that you are a kind-hearted person who doesn't want to CTB if you have a choice. I can relate to you.
I also been through the same experience in partial suspension when I released myself when my vision started getting blurry. I told myself if I were to let myself go, I would never gonna be able to turn back.
No one wants to CTB if there is a choice. You are not alone.
I also been through the same experience in partial suspension when I released myself when my vision started getting blurry. I told myself if I were to let myself go, I would never gonna be able to turn back.
No one wants to CTB if there is a choice. You are not alone.
Welcome back, sadsoul. Hanging is difficult to get right. Thankfully I won't have to depend on it anymore.
Glad ur still here 
sadsoul
Alive and unwell
- Sep 9, 2018
- 440
❤Glad ur still here
No more misery. Salute and peace.
Tomo
Member
- Oct 31, 2018
- 15
Probably a selfish thing to say, but I'm glad you're still here. It's an easier thing to do on paper when you decide it's your time. I attempted hanging myself in the past but I always have enough regret to back out and think of the things I like about this life. I think about who this will impact. It isn't an easy decision by any means and everyone should think about it for awhile since there's no turning back or changing your mind once all is said and done. Ironically being around sanctioned for a couple of years has provided me with more effective support than pro life websites.
Anyone sad that you delayed ctb is welcome to leave the forum right now. Not my place to get nasty, but that's one of the things that has most pleasantly surprised me about ss: we seem very kind, and disinclined to push anyone off the curb as the bus approaches.
I'm sorry you're still feeling bad, not especially sorry that you're still here and part of the conversation.
I missed my bus on Tuesday, too, so you have my sympathy.
Trashcan
Trash
- Aug 31, 2018
- 1,234
Sorry it didn't work out. Hanging is difficult. Some people some to have the wrong anatomy to compress the carotid arteries.
BlackDragonof1989
Mage
- Jul 12, 2018
- 526
Aw sadsoul, peace to you whatever the outcome *hugs you warmly*
LostitAll
Member
- Oct 30, 2018
- 51
If my initial method of hanging doesn't work. I'll find the nearest tree and do a full blown fucking scene for the whole town to see.
It's not that I "want" to die, I don't have a choice. Society runs on money and I ran out. Now I'm useless burden, and garbage.
Hey trashcan----Let me bury myself in you.
It's not that I "want" to die, I don't have a choice. Society runs on money and I ran out. Now I'm useless burden, and garbage.
Hey trashcan----Let me bury myself in you.
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,802
me to i get close to passing out and then I chicken out every fucking time
sadsoul
Alive and unwell
- Sep 9, 2018
- 440
Little misunderstanding here, I was apologizing to the people I made sad because of my goodbye post, not because I delayed ctb :)
See? Kindness wins --including from you.
Sorry to jump on you, Sadsoul. I shouldn't have been so hasty. I just didn't like the idea you might feel that others regretted your missing the bus.
