Venting My Boyfriend

[masochisticsorrow]

I love my boyfriend, I'm obsessed with him, I can never stop thinking about him, but that's the problem, he loves me too. I don't wanna hurt him when I die. I don't want him to see my dead body or hear about my death, I don't want him to take his life when I take mine. I want to see him grow into a strong man and live a happy life. It hurts me to know that if I kill myself I'd be putting his life on the line too.

 

[depressedlover]

It's normal to feel that way for someone you love,if i may ask what's your main reason for wanting to ctb?

 

[AnonymousRobin]

That's how I feel with my boyfriend, we're planning a life together and I love him so much, but I don't want to be around too long and I feel guilty for thinking about it when I know how upset he'd be

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

Does he know you're in a bad mental state?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult and painful situation to be trapped in, but anyway nobody is obligated to suffer for the sake of others, it's a personal decision deciding when to leave this world, and we all have to die and lose everything someday. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[masochisticsorrow]

It's normal to feel that way for someone you love,if i may ask what's your main reason for wanting to ctb?

I don't really love anyone besides him, my main reason to ctb is because I don't feel I even have a life, its the same every day and my PTSD makes it hard to function sometimes

Does he know you're in a bad mental state?

I'm not sure, all I know is he knows I'm not in the best one, I'm not sure if he knows it's this bad.

 

[depressedlover]

My love ctbd and i know he loved me even at his last moments,his last wishes were for me to live and be happy…He literally said "You need to live and be happy " I'm not happy and i don't want to live without him.That's why i'm here.I know it's your life,it's not my place to tell you what to do,i will just tell you to kindly think about it carefully few more times.If it's still what you want in the long run,i wish you find peace and happiness in whatever you're seeking.