Help my boyfriend has threatened to have me committed UK

[90starve]

he has threatened to "call the emergency services" and have me admitted for suicidal ideation, out of spite.

im in the UK - if he is being serious, can the emergency services have me committed against my will? what if i deny any suicidal thoughts?

the NHS website indicates that it's only people who appear to be an immediate danger to themselves others that are able to be forcefully admitted - which doesn't apply to me - and states "Police have powers to enter your home, if need be by force, under a Section 135 warrant."

there's nothing on my medical record that would indicate serious risk though - i have absolutely no experience with this so my mind is going crazy right now!

 

[The anhedonic one]

Here is some info that will help you.
So sorry about your boyfriend.
He sounds like a vindictive asshole.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

in most places ideation isn't enough to have you committed- you need immediate access to a method with expressed intention to use it.

I don't know the specifics of your scenario, but if you simply expressed "I wish I could fucking kill myself right now" you will probably be okay. but I'm no expert on UK law

 

[90starve]

Here is some info that will help you.
So sorry about your boyfriend.
He sounds like a vindictive asshole.

thankyou so much for linking this!

in most places ideation isn't enough to have you committed- you need immediate access to a method with expressed intention to use it.

I don't know the specifics of your scenario, but if you simply expressed "I wish I could fucking kill myself right now" you will probably be okay. but I'm no expert on UK law

im no expert either. im hopeful that im just worrying about it too much - but with no experience, i really don't know.

 

[NoHorizon]

Very unlikely. In the UK you generally have to be at high risk of imminent suicide to be sectioned (ie you're actually in the process of ending your life when he calls/they visit you). They would likely come and see you and if you seemed OK they'll leave but possibly refer you to your local mental health team for support resources.

I had a welfare check and told the police officer I had SN with me in my flat but wasn't planning on using it at the moment and they just referred me to my GP.

 

[SoftWorries]

You should watch some videos from Of Herbs and Alters. She's had a terrible time trying to get help when she's needed it let alone being committed against her will.

She said in a video in the UK threats to have someone committed are only threats. There probably aren't any extra spaces at all.

 

[90starve]

Very unlikely. In the UK you generally have to be at high risk of imminent suicide to be sectioned (ie you're actually in the process of ending your life when he calls/they visit you). They would likely come and see you and if you seemed OK they'll leave but possibly refer you to your local mental health team for support resources.

I had a welfare check and told the police officer I had SN with me in my flat but wasn't planning on using it at the moment and they just referred me to my GP.

You should watch some videos from Of Herbs and Alters. She's had a terrible time trying to get help when she's needed it let alone being committed against her will.

She said in a video in the UK threats to have someone committed are only threats. There probably aren't any extra spaces at all.

thankyou both for your comforting replies <3

it's now over 12 hours later, and no sign of emergency services - i think he was bluffing!

@SoftWorries im watching Of Herbs and Altars latest video about her ED story - she seems like such a wonderful individual, and is very talented in story telling :)

 

[Forever Sleep]

If I'm honest- I don't absolutely know but I doubt they have the beds for that. From what I've seen- people here actually ASKING to be admitted aren't being!!

That said- I think once you're on their radar- they may need to start ticking boxes. I feel almost positive though that- should the worst happen and your boyfriend initiates a welfare check- so long as you don't present an immediate risk to yourself- I'm not sure what they can do.

Put it this way. I'm from the UK. When the police came in conjunction with the recent SN welfare checks- I was kind of honest. I said I'd always had ideation but I'd bought it for future use- should I come down with a debhilitating illness. Obviously they weren't happy but they were content enough to put me in touch with the Crisis helpline () and leave.

Why do you suppose your boyfriend is doing this? Is it out of genuine concern for you? Is it because he's tried to help you but is now getting desperate? I don't know what to say really. Obviously- you want him to be there for you in a supportive manner but it sounds like either he has been but can't anymore and is now panicking or, I don't know- he's just trying to scare you. Awful to say it- but- if you want to stay with him but you're scared of this response to this- you might have to conceal this part of you more. Lots of people simply can't handle knowing their loved one is suicidal I imagine. I think that's why a lot of people do their best not to reveal it.

 

[Kasumi]

Honestly, in the event that someone actually comes to check on you, you can just say that you're stressed, or currently have problems to deal with and you sometimes feel like you just want it all to be over, but you're not seriously wanting to die.

I think thats what they would expect from someone who has problems to deal with and I think most people sometimes feel like that, and then your "boyfriend" would be just some overworried partner.
so like, just feed them what they'd expect and you'll be fine.

Tell your bf to fuck off, if he's not someone you can actually rely on and he's just causing you more stress and fears you're better off without him.

Awful to say it- but- if you want to stay with him but you're scared of this response to this- you might have to conceal this part of you more.

This part, I think when you are at the point where you're scared of your partner or their response / reaction, I think it's time to seriously re-evaluate your relationship and if they're really fit to be your partner.

 

[90starve]

Why do you suppose your boyfriend is doing this? Is it out of genuine concern for you? Is it because he's tried to help you but is now getting desperate? I don't know what to say really. Obviously- you want him to be there for you in a supportive manner but it sounds like either he has been but can't anymore and is now panicking or, I don't know- he's just trying to scare you. Awful to say it- but- if you want to stay with him but you're scared of this response to this- you might have to conceal this part of you more. Lots of people simply can't handle knowing their loved one is suicidal I imagine. I think that's why a lot of people do their best not to reveal it.

Tell your bf to fuck off, if he's not someone you can actually rely on and he's just causing you more stress and fears you're better off without him.
This part, I think when you are at the point where you're scared of your partner or their response / reaction, I think it's time to seriously re-evaluate your relationship and if they're really fit to be your partner.

the general situation between me and him is that we made the decision that living together was not going to work - so when i moved into my new house, he didn't move with me.

he got kicked out of the place he was staying in for the same reasons i didn't want him here, and so came back to me and moved in against my wishes. that happened twice - both ending with catastrophic fights.

7 weeks prior to the first time he moved back in, he had told me not to contact him again, which i hadnt unless he contacted me first - so him moving back in was incredibly confusing and a violation of my boundaries, ultimately not allowing me to relax at all with him here, and i came to the conclusion that he was using me.

i have hurt him immensely with my poor mental health - and i don't believe he knows how to deal with hurt, he will lash out and break things, shout and humiliate me. he doesn't seem to express any genuine concern, rather has the view that im "crazy, retarded and need to be locked up".

we are over now - but all of his things are still at my house, which is a perfect excuse for him to slide back in and do this all over again - not very good at saying no to him.

 

[Kasumi]

the general situation between me and him is that we made the decision that living together was not going to work - so when i moved into my new house, he didn't move with me.

he got kicked out of the place he was staying in for the same reasons i didn't want him here, and so came back to me and moved in against my wishes. that happened twice - both ending with catastrophic fights.

7 weeks prior to the first time he moved back in, he had told me not to contact him again, which i hadnt unless he contacted me first - so him moving back in was incredibly confusing and a violation of my boundaries, ultimately not allowing me to relax at all with him here, and i came to the conclusion that he was using me.

i have hurt him immensely with my poor mental health - and i don't believe he knows how to deal with hurt, he will lash out and break things, shout and humiliate me. he doesn't seem to express any genuine concern, rather has the view that im "crazy, retarded and need to be locked up".

we are over now - but all of his things are still at my house, which is a perfect excuse for him to slide back in and do this all over again - not very good at saying no to him.

oof that's really messed up.
if you have a day off some time, maybe gather all of his things together and call him to pick them up, and say that you'll throw them out if he doesnt take them.

 

[90starve]

oof that's really messed up.
if you have a day off some time, maybe gather all of his things together and call him to pick them up, and say that you'll throw them out if he doesnt take them.

i think what i'm going to do is just store them in my garden shed and forget about them, until i hear from him. he already did the hard job of packing it up :)