• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Mage
Mar 25, 2019
593
I have no words.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: waitingforrest, sólstafir, Dartz and 12 others
T

TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
At least you didn't turn it into a murder-suicide.
 
  • Like
Reactions: shrek34, AngelGirl, sólstafir and 20 others
Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
What a douchebag.
 
  • Like
Reactions: memento_mori, Dartz, Final Escape and 1 other person
not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
I don't blame significant others for getting pissed.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Final Escape, Vegrau, RM5998 and 3 others
-Link-

-Link-

Member
Aug 25, 2018
698
That certainly doesn't bode well.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Final Escape and GinaIsReady
I

Its time its time

Student
Apr 7, 2019
147
Pure ignorance!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Final Escape and GinaIsReady
O

oopswronglife

Elementalist
Jun 27, 2019
870
I don't blame significant others for getting pissed.

I do. If you cannot have empathy for the person that is supposedly the most important person in your life...then you have no business in a relationship because life is full of shared difficulties and it never ends, even gets worse with age and health decline. Your SO should always be your biggest ally and be there for you. If they don't want to do that, then gtfo. I cannot fathom the kind of person who would be cruel to someone who was suffering/potentially suffering as to add to it with drama and insults. But this is what they do instead of standing by you or leaving...they make it worse by attacking.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Faceless_end, memento_mori, Faraway1990 and 1 other person
A

andy69

Experienced
May 23, 2019
292
My ex-partner probably felt the same way. That's why he left me. He could never understand the pain I am in. He couldn't last a day with what goes through my head.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AngelGirl, AtomicNewt and Faraway1990
ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Mage
Mar 25, 2019
593
The only reason why I'm still alive is because of him. When he said this today, I found myself wondering why I'm still here.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: Kikoo Loool, thiswillkillme, vulturecyclop and 1 other person
A

andy69

Experienced
May 23, 2019
292
The only reason why I'm still alive is because of him. When he said this today, I found myself wondering why I'm still here.


I understand completely. But could you find a new boyfriend? Do you have a career or hobby to focus your energy?
 
ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Mage
Mar 25, 2019
593
The only reason why I'm still alive is because of him. When he said this today, I found myself wondering why I'm still here.
The worst part is he has sacrificed so much for me

I understand completely. But could you find a new boyfriend? Do you have a career or hobby to focus your energy?
I'm not interested in finding a new boyfriend. There is no guarantee he'll be there for me years from now, but I've already decided that if there ever comes a time we break up, I'm ready to leave this world. Breaking up would make my decision so much easier.
And if I had a career I was passionate about or a hobby to focus my energy, I wouldn't be on this forum to begin with.
I do. If you cannot have empathy for the person that is supposedly the most important person in your life...then you have no business in a relationship because life is full of shared difficulties and it never ends, even gets worse with age and health decline. Your SO should always be your biggest ally and be there for you. If they don't want to do that, then gtfo. I cannot fathom the kind of person who would be cruel to someone who was suffering/potentially suffering as to add to it with drama and insults. But this is what they do instead of standing by you or leaving...they make it worse by attacking.
To be fair, I don't think he said it with malicious intent. I think he was trying to give me what he felt was "much-needed tough love."
He has sacrificed a lot for me. See this link for the whole story...
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/need-advice-on-my-boyfriend.17065/#post-322385
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt and Faraway1990
S

Sailfisher

F’ing A
Apr 19, 2019
282
It's nearly impossible for others to understand. They either think it's just a changeable emotion or some "act".
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hollowman, AngelGirl, AtomicNewt and 1 other person
ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Mage
Mar 25, 2019
593
It's nearly impossible for others to understand. They either think it's just a changeable emotion or some "act".
I know. He has never been depressed before. So he truly thinks it's a phase I'll get over...
 
bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
wtf. that's inconsiderate.
 
  • Like
Reactions: memento_mori and Faraway1990
Oblivion Lover

Oblivion Lover

No life, no suffering
May 30, 2019
360
Wow, that's terrible. I normally don't advocate for violence, but if my hypothetical partner said that to me he would be kicked so hard on a specific region of the body that the pain would make him permanently mute, but I'm guessing that's not an option for you. Do you intend to do anything about it? Maybe if you're seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist right now you could take your boyfriend with you in your next appointment so the doctor can explain your condition to him?
 
LifeIsNotFun

LifeIsNotFun

Mage
Jun 1, 2019
530
Your boyfriend is a dick. He doesn't understand what depression is like until he goes through it himself. I hate when people like that throw around these lame statements, and don't even understand what someone is going through. You should leave him OP, he obviously doesn't have good intentions for you at all. If he truly cared, he wouldn't have said such a stupid statement.
 
  • Like
Reactions: memento_mori
ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Mage
Mar 25, 2019
593
Your boyfriend is a dick. He doesn't understand what depression is like until he goes through it himself. I hate when people like that throw around these lame statements, and don't even understand what someone is going through. You should leave him OP, he obviously doesn't have good intentions for you at all. If he truly cared, he wouldn't have said such a stupid statement.
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/need-advice-on-my-boyfriend.17065/#post-322385
^he has tried to be there for me. I know he loves me. He has sacrificed a lot for me (see the post)
I just don't think he understands depression.
 
T

TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
I just don't think he understands depression.
It unlikely that any "normal" person could understand us. They understand depression to be feeling a bit down, and they understand that this feeling goes away pretty fast. That's the only depression that they've ever experienced and it's difficult to impossible to really understand something that is far removed from anything that you've ever experienced yourself. They've never spend months on a suicide forum and they can't fathom buying a poison based upon ideas presented on that forum.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Vault of Memories and AtomicNewt
LifeIsNotFun

LifeIsNotFun

Mage
Jun 1, 2019
530
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/need-advice-on-my-boyfriend.17065/#post-322385
^he has tried to be there for me. I know he loves me. He has sacrificed a lot for me (see the post)
I just don't think he understands depression.
I'm sorry for getting mad and lashing out. I am glad he supports you and tries, its just that he should research more about depression, and learn how it effects someone going through it. My family does the same to me, and I was even physically abused cause of my OCD by my family. I literally got beaten up cause I washed my hands too much.

I wish you the best, though. And I hope your boyfriend understands your depression better. Hugs.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt
peacefully31425

peacefully31425

Dirtbag
Aug 28, 2018
162
It's hard for others to understand what they haven't experienced. Though, I'm sorry that he said that to you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Going Home
P

pole

Enlightened
Sep 18, 2018
1,387
I get it, he hasnt gone through it so he wont understand it or be able to relate to it. But i'm sorry, if he says you're depression is an excuse, you're emotions, mental state, is all an excuse and justification for something, then he doesn't truly love you. A partner who truly cares about you truly understands and respects you're emotions, mental health, mental state of mind; EVEN IF THEY DONT RELATE TO IT OR HAVENT GONE THROUGH IT. In similar cases, i have friends, obviously not partners, but best friends who havent gone through depression or suicidal tendencies be extremely supportive and understanding of my mental health and state, and not criticize or judge me for pushing them away from my life or arguing with him just cause, for no reason and blame my emotional state and mental health as just an excuse to hate and do whatever. Thats just bullshit.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tabbyql
C

Codieb1

Student
Jun 18, 2019
178
My partner thinks my depression is some kind of excuse too, when she knows goddamn well she's exactly what causes it with her extremely harmful drinking problem. Trying to ask her for help on getting through my suicidal behavior gets me various results of "fucking do it" "get the fuck out of my house if you're going to threaten that" "That's just an excuse to control me"

......yeah this is why I have SN on the way
 
medicinenightmares

medicinenightmares

Member
Jun 11, 2019
65
Why is he your boyfriend? Kick his dumb ass to the curb, you deserve better.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pole
P

pole

Enlightened
Sep 18, 2018
1,387
Why is he your boyfriend? Kick his dumb ass to the curb, you deserve better.
literally what i said. he doesnt love you if thats how he makes you feel, and how he lacks the understanding of your emotions and mental state.
 
D

deathenvoy

Experienced
Mar 29, 2019
215
People that never walked through this hell will never understand.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Going Home, memento_mori, Kikoo Loool and 1 other person
F

Fr2

Member
Jun 15, 2019
84
I see a lot of replies here that reflect exactly the same problem that the boyfriend's remark did. He can't understand depression, and he reacted to the phenomenon through the prism of his own experience. Now some people who participated in this topic cannot at all understand a normal person's state of mind, so they reacted to his reality just the same, through the prism of their own experience, rejecting the boyfriend's limitations, rejecting how he feels inside, rejecting the way he processes things.
If you're going to judge him, at least know that you're doing exactly the same thing that you're judging him for.
 
  • Like
Reactions: HGL91, JMB and Puddings
pillsandstep2

pillsandstep2

Member
Jun 19, 2019
15
people can only meet us at their level. it's impossible for him to grasp the extend of what depression does to people. my bf, when i told him i was depressed, retorted that i'm not the only one who gets depressed as he was "depressed" before. he thought my depression is an emotion. he doesn't know that it's an illness. i think that's why depressed people feel so alone. when people hear that you are depressed they either try to ask you to look on the bright side, or think that it's worst that it's actually is.
 
  • Like
Reactions: memento_mori
Puddings

Puddings

Member
Feb 9, 2019
36
I see a lot of replies here that reflect exactly the same problem that the boyfriend's remark did. He can't understand depression, and he reacted to the phenomenon through the prism of his own experience. Now some people who participated in this topic cannot at all understand a normal person's state of mind, so they reacted to his reality just the same, through the prism of their own experience, rejecting the boyfriend's limitations, rejecting how he feels inside, rejecting the way he processes things.
If you're going to judge him, at least know that you're doing exactly the same thing that you're judging him for.
I agree with this. I am currently going through the worst depression of my life, although I think I have been depressed for most of my life. My earliest wishes to die was as a child at the age of 5. But currently is the worst and it was actually exasperated by work stress and getting married last year. I can just imagine that it must be quite hard for my husband, who just married me a couple of months ago, to see me like this and knowing that I want to die all the time. I think he tries to understand that it has nothing to do with him but I also know that it does effect him greatly and makes him feel quite powerless and frustrated at times. We share a home, so it is obvious that it would impact him and effect him, even if he is aware that it is an illness and I think his patience and kindness is something that does not always come naturally but a choice. Being the depressed one, I think it is important to have empathy for the ones we share a space with, to understand that they cant possibly know a 100% what it is like even if they try and to have understanding that this is affecting them as well. That does not mitigate our illness but we need to remember to have the same empathy for those around us, that we wish for them to show us. It is our duty to calmly and logically explain to them what is going on, even if we have to do it over and over again. Just as they cant fully understand what is going on in our minds and the pain we feel, we need to be aware that they are also going through pain that we can not fully understand.
 
V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
665
I don't blame significant others for getting pissed.

No loyalty nor piety when face with long term illness.

Old Chinese proverb.

I think my family will say the same thing to me. Simply because I havent die yet. But if I do kill myself then they will start to ask why oh why. Such is the humans. Thats why I never care for them. I simply cannot take their actions and words seriously. They can never be trusted.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: not_a_robot
L

LivingToLong

Experienced
Feb 23, 2019
259
My boyfriend actually told me he thinks my depression is just an excuse

An excuse for what? Given that your boyfriend has previously been supportive, and you say that he loves you, do you think maybe he was trying 'tough love' on you? I only ask because
we don't know the context of him saying what he said.

On the face of it, what he said was massively insensitive. They are the words of someone who doesn't care, or someone who has become tired of being supportive, or who - in that moment - was having problems of their own and spoke to quickly and without thinking. I don't want to take sides (least of all because I wasn't there) but it is possible that your boyfriend didn't mean what he said. To be fair, it IS difficult being the partner of someone who is suffering and they might not always say the right thing. That's if they know they right thing to say, because let's be honest, they're not trained in such things and they are people with their own lives and problems.

Of course, if he doesn't apologise (in some way) or he continues to be unsupportive then that's another thing - dump him. You really don't need people in your life that are going to make it more difficult for you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jolene40, sólstafir and RM5998

Similar threads

Olivie_420
Replies
3
Views
165
Suicide Discussion
Dejected 55
Dejected 55
evilblondegirl
Replies
2
Views
261
Suicide Discussion
FungalEyes
FungalEyes
SparkleWater
Replies
7
Views
272
Suicide Discussion
TBONTB
T
Upon a hanging Body
Replies
0
Views
72
Suicide Discussion
Upon a hanging Body
Upon a hanging Body
Visitor_
Replies
3
Views
195
Suicide Discussion
FadingSnowFake
FadingSnowFake