
ScorpiusDragon
Mage
- Mar 25, 2019
- 593
I don't blame significant others for getting pissed.
The only reason why I'm still alive is because of him. When he said this today, I found myself wondering why I'm still here.
The worst part is he has sacrificed so much for meThe only reason why I'm still alive is because of him. When he said this today, I found myself wondering why I'm still here.
I'm not interested in finding a new boyfriend. There is no guarantee he'll be there for me years from now, but I've already decided that if there ever comes a time we break up, I'm ready to leave this world. Breaking up would make my decision so much easier.I understand completely. But could you find a new boyfriend? Do you have a career or hobby to focus your energy?
To be fair, I don't think he said it with malicious intent. I think he was trying to give me what he felt was "much-needed tough love."I do. If you cannot have empathy for the person that is supposedly the most important person in your life...then you have no business in a relationship because life is full of shared difficulties and it never ends, even gets worse with age and health decline. Your SO should always be your biggest ally and be there for you. If they don't want to do that, then gtfo. I cannot fathom the kind of person who would be cruel to someone who was suffering/potentially suffering as to add to it with drama and insults. But this is what they do instead of standing by you or leaving...they make it worse by attacking.
I know. He has never been depressed before. So he truly thinks it's a phase I'll get over...It's nearly impossible for others to understand. They either think it's just a changeable emotion or some "act".
Your boyfriend is a dick. He doesn't understand what depression is like until he goes through it himself. I hate when people like that throw around these lame statements, and don't even understand what someone is going through. You should leave him OP, he obviously doesn't have good intentions for you at all. If he truly cared, he wouldn't have said such a stupid statement.
It unlikely that any "normal" person could understand us. They understand depression to be feeling a bit down, and they understand that this feeling goes away pretty fast. That's the only depression that they've ever experienced and it's difficult to impossible to really understand something that is far removed from anything that you've ever experienced yourself. They've never spend months on a suicide forum and they can't fathom buying a poison based upon ideas presented on that forum.I just don't think he understands depression.
I'm sorry for getting mad and lashing out. I am glad he supports you and tries, its just that he should research more about depression, and learn how it effects someone going through it. My family does the same to me, and I was even physically abused cause of my OCD by my family. I literally got beaten up cause I washed my hands too much.https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/need-advice-on-my-boyfriend.17065/#post-322385^he has tried to be there for me. I know he loves me. He has sacrificed a lot for me (see the post)
I just don't think he understands depression.
literally what i said. he doesnt love you if thats how he makes you feel, and how he lacks the understanding of your emotions and mental state.Why is he your boyfriend? Kick his dumb ass to the curb, you deserve better.
I agree with this. I am currently going through the worst depression of my life, although I think I have been depressed for most of my life. My earliest wishes to die was as a child at the age of 5. But currently is the worst and it was actually exasperated by work stress and getting married last year. I can just imagine that it must be quite hard for my husband, who just married me a couple of months ago, to see me like this and knowing that I want to die all the time. I think he tries to understand that it has nothing to do with him but I also know that it does effect him greatly and makes him feel quite powerless and frustrated at times. We share a home, so it is obvious that it would impact him and effect him, even if he is aware that it is an illness and I think his patience and kindness is something that does not always come naturally but a choice. Being the depressed one, I think it is important to have empathy for the ones we share a space with, to understand that they cant possibly know a 100% what it is like even if they try and to have understanding that this is affecting them as well. That does not mitigate our illness but we need to remember to have the same empathy for those around us, that we wish for them to show us. It is our duty to calmly and logically explain to them what is going on, even if we have to do it over and over again. Just as they cant fully understand what is going on in our minds and the pain we feel, we need to be aware that they are also going through pain that we can not fully understand.I see a lot of replies here that reflect exactly the same problem that the boyfriend's remark did. He can't understand depression, and he reacted to the phenomenon through the prism of his own experience. Now some people who participated in this topic cannot at all understand a normal person's state of mind, so they reacted to his reality just the same, through the prism of their own experience, rejecting the boyfriend's limitations, rejecting how he feels inside, rejecting the way he processes things.
If you're going to judge him, at least know that you're doing exactly the same thing that you're judging him for.
I don't blame significant others for getting pissed.
My boyfriend actually told me he thinks my depression is just an excuse