My biggest roadblock to recovery right now is paranoia.

[TheLastGreySky]

I'm posting this because I don't know how to properly bring this up to a mental health professional. Since 20/20 I have been dealing with paranoia induced from PTSD. I want to expressly state that I in no way shape or form in breaking the law or doing drugs etc.
But I have been struggling with paranoia and constant intrusive thoughts on the daily that police are coming for me, my partner might be cheating or not fully loving me. And I'm basically in the state of hypervigilance constantly. And I'm able to distinguish that these are not reality however... When I had brought up my paranoia before it was very much dismissed as stress induced.

At this moment the reason I am dealing with thoughts of CTB is because I want these thoughts to stop "attacking" me.
I don't know how to bring this up in a way in which a therapist will understand that this is something I need to be medicated for.
I don't have schizophrenia because I was tested. But I don't know enough about mental illnesses to really know how to seek help without overselling how overwhelming these thoughts have been. I don't need to be locked up because I am actively trying to get help but a therapist has 30 other clients and doesn't have the time or ability to understand where I'm coming from. The last time I went to crisis intervention they had diagnosed me with cptsd on top of my already diagnosed BPD ADHD major depressive disorder and tourette's (tic syndrome)

So any sort of suggestions or what I might possibly have mental health wise would be very much appreciated. resources or suggestions of what conditions I might want to look into are very much appreciated.

 

[timf]

One possibility that is often over;looked is the manifestation of a behavior as a reflex to compensate for another problem. If one considers the problem of self-harm (like cutting or eating disorders), it is often a case of a behavior that emerges to fight back against anxiety or otherwise attempt to calm things through an exercise of control. The feeling of control can become so important that other matters can often be ignored.

One might think that intrusive thoughts of paranoia would be symptomatic of early onset schizophrenia, however, your mention of PTSD might open the door for considering that your mind might be raising demons for you to fight to give you a feeling of control that can push back against other anxieties. It might still be a case of compensation for anxiety.

People can have anxieties that are acquired such as an abused child. One can also have anxieties such as from a sensitive neurology such as with Aspergers.. Acquired anxieties can often be reduced through the application of logic (assuming the underling cause of the anxiety has been resolved). For example a woman might have anxieties that cripple her desire for a normal relationship that stem from having been abused as a child many years before. If she imagines her abuser as someone she could slap around or beat up, she can create a disconnection from past events that allow them to fade in influence.

Your situation might be two fold. The first would be to control the thought such as "what if the police do arrest you and you are wrongfully imprisoned", You would have free room and board and the odds are the the police would no longer be interested in you. Similarly thoughts of infidelity might be managed by asking what if your girl friend left you, Either something was wrong with you or her and perhaps it would be for the best. Most unrealistic fears can be confronted similarly.

If this is a case that arises from the PTSD, those fears would need to be dealt with. Many WWII veterans dealt with their PTSD with alcohol. This can give short term relief at the expense of long term problems. Few people with actual schizophrenia consider that what is happening to them is unusual or in need of correction. This suggests to me that your anxieties may be resolvable without medication.

Anxieties can often be pushed back with thoughts of logic such as "This worst scenario cannot happen and if it does, I'll go down fighting" This can bolster a feeling of control.

 

[UnnamedGuy]

Just a couple of questions if you don't mind.

If you were to break it down bit by bit, is there a reason as to why you feel that the police are coming for you? In my mind, I can only imagine this would occur as a result of doing something against the law however, you mentioned at the very beginning that you have not done anything that is illegal. I'm really curious about your thought process here.

About your partner potentially cheating. Is this because they have cheated on you in the past? Maybe you know they cheated with someone else in their past relationship because they disclosed this to you? Maybe you have been cheated on in your past relationship?

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Just a couple of questions if you don't mind.

If you were to break it down bit by bit, is there a reason as to why you feel that the police are coming for you? In my mind, I can only imagine this would occur as a result of doing something against the law however, you mentioned at the very beginning that you have not done anything that is illegal. I'm really curious about your thought process here.

About your partner potentially cheating. Is this because they have cheated on you in the past? Maybe you know they cheated with someone else in their past relationship because they disclosed this to you? Maybe you have been cheated on in your past relationship?

I was arrested for something I didn't do because of ex wanted custody prior and I fought it to the very end just to be imprisoned without any evidence so I guess I still struggle with understanding how something like that could even happen, especially when we're told the mantra of being innocent until proven guilty.

I was cheated on in a past relationship by someone I loved and confided in while I was going through a divorce. So I think the anxiety is because I trusted this person fully and she was just putting on a fake face and I couldn't see the real her until I caught her.

 

[UnnamedGuy]

I was arrested for something I didn't do because of ex wanted custody prior and I fought it to the very end just to be imprisoned without any evidence so I guess I still struggle with understanding how something like that could even happen, especially when we're told the mantra of being innocent until proven guilty.

I was cheated on in a past relationship by someone I loved and confided in while I was going through a divorce. So I think the anxiety is because I trusted this person fully and she was just putting on a fake face and I couldn't see the real her until I caught her.

Ah that explains, thanks for sharing.

There is nothing worse than being accused of something you haven't done but you took the right approach, as I would have done myself. Don't get me wrong, I get majorly angry/upset whenever I've been accused of something I've not done but like you, I will defend myself all the way. I'd like to think your situation has changed otherwise you would still be locked inside when they realised the error. If so, would it be safe to say that there is no reason for you to be arrested and imprisoned? I can't imagine that this would be a regular occurence, unless you live in a country that stinks of corruption, particularly with the justice system.

Speaking from personal experience, I was cheated on about 16 years ago and I've been single ever since. Big trust issues for me, however, I've come to terms that I just need to lead a single life... I trust myself... I think?!! I know the right thing to say is that not everybody is a cheating son of a b**** but I can't really say this otherwise I wouldn't be single for all this time. I can't help you with that unfortunately.I guess the reason I remain single is because I won't allow anybody else to put me through the upset again, safer for me!

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Ah that explains, thanks for sharing.

There is nothing worse than being accused of something you haven't done but you took the right approach, as I would have done myself. Don't get me wrong, I get majorly angry/upset whenever I've been accused of something I've not done but like you, I will defend myself all the way. I'd like to think your situation has changed otherwise you would still be locked inside when they realised the error. If so, would it be safe to say that there is no reason for you to be arrested and imprisoned? I can't imagine that this would be a regular occurence, unless you live in a country that stinks of corruption, particularly with the justice system.

Speaking from personal experience, I was cheated on about 16 years ago and I've been single ever since. Big trust issues for me, however, I've come to terms that I just need to lead a single life... I trust myself... I think?!! I know the right thing to say is that not everybody is a cheating son of a b**** but I can't really say this otherwise I wouldn't be single for all this time. I can't help you with that unfortunately.I guess the reason I remain single is because I won't allow anybody else to put me through the upset again, safer for me!

They never realize the error. They charged me with a felony but I did get one overturned. I live in America and honestly this type of shit is typical. We host 80% of the world's criminals and yet here we are completely oblivious to the fact that it's a private owned business designed to make money.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

So any sort of suggestions or what I might possibly have mental health wise would be very much appreciated. resources or suggestions of what conditions I might want to look into are very much appreciated.

So, kinda intrusive thoughts and worst-case (or at least bad) scenarios? Maybe in the OCD "pure O" direction?

 

[TheLastGreySky]

So, kinda intrusive thoughts and worst-case (or at least bad) scenarios? Maybe in the OCD "pure O" direction?

Basically bad intrusive thoughts and flashbacks of people banging on doors and imagining "thud thud thud" a lot. But having it so constant is nerve-racking

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Basically bad intrusive thoughts and flashbacks of people banging on doors and imagining "thud thud thud" a lot. But having it so constant is nerve-racking

Do you relate to pure O OCD at all? A shot in the dark here, but how it your caffeine intake? Drinking caffeine can make my anxiety worse. Also, do you have any experience with meditation?