My biggest fear

[Exiled spirit]

I'm in a state of mental torture. I have severe social anxiety and suicidal thoughts and can't even talk about that to my parents. In fact, my parents are one of the main reasons why I want to end my life.

I also can't afford therapy or find a job. finding a job in Egypt is extremely difficult without knowing someone or being highly educated and talented. And on the top of that, the only suicide method suitable for me requires money which I don't have right now. I need to start saving money for one or two years in order to be financially able to carry on with my suicide plan.

In other words, I have to wait for about two years in order to end my life. That means that I have to endure my life during this period. The problem is that I'm not sure I can wait all that time because my life is getting worse in a rapid rate.

I'm afraid that, under pressure, I may resort to a risky suicide method. I live in an apartment in the 5th floor. I know that jumping off this height is extremely risky and can leave me with a lasting injury instead of putting me out of my misery. But I may do it if I got exposed to a lot of pressure.

That's my biggest fear.

 

[Vitya]

If you live in a place with forests around or just have trees around places that are rarely visited a rope should do the work. Ropes aren't expensive and are pretty easy to come by. There are tutorials on youtube that teach you how to tie a noose. I also suggest looking for types of knots that will help you secure the rope if you find a good tree. Just make sure nobody will be around that area for the period of at least 15-20 minutes. Whatever happens in the future know there is no shame in either leaving this place or deciding to stay. Whatever your future beholds know that there is at least one person who cares. Until then, take care and whatever may be the results I wish you will be happy with them <3

 

[Exiled spirit]

If you live in a place with forests around or just have trees around places that are rarely visited a rope should do the work. Ropes aren't expensive and are pretty easy to come by. There are tutorials on youtube that teach you how to tie a noose. I also suggest looking for types of knots that will help you secure the rope if you find a good tree. Just make sure nobody will be around that area for the period of at least 15-20 minutes. Whatever happens in the future know there is no shame in either leaving this place or deciding to stay. Whatever your future beholds know that there is at least one person who cares. Until then, take care and whatever may be the results I wish you will be happy with them <3

Hanging isn't suitable for me. I post that thread explaining all the method that aren't suitable for me:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-need-your-advice.108012/

The only method suitable for me now costs money. This method is jumping off the balcony of one of Egypt's hotels. I need to jump off the 15th floor at minimum. Hotels with this height are all very expensive. That means I have to wait for one or two years in order to be able to book a room for one night in one of those hotels.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really horrible situation to be in, it's so cruel how we have to suffer so much in finding ways to die, the option of a peaceful exit is the least that we deserve after being so unfairly forced into this world in the first place and none of us should have to feel so trapped here. I do believe that it would very likely fail jumping from the 5th floor, but it's really understandable being desperate and having limited access to suicide methods. Existing in this world certainly is hell.