Ignorant7879
New Member
- Feb 25, 2024
- 4
Now that I've realized my biggest enemy is myself, I hate myself even more. In my mind I'm a fucking fat dumbass asshole who have no respect for others. My only good trait is that I'm a hard worker, but anyone can be a hard-worker.
I get tired easily. I think I'm fat as fuck. I can't learn as fast as others. I always get flustered easily when I'm talking to girls.
I can't love myself.
I hate myself because I hate fat people, dumb people and people who are shy, aren't I? There are people who fit inside my little hate-standard, so when I realized I fit that standard I start hating myself too.
I'm fucking pathetic. But I will get over this somehow, I know it. I'm strong and hard working. But that's the scariest thing. Because I can get up from where I fall, I'm bound to fall again, and again, and again. Failure leaves scars. Scars accumulate. Because I'm so strong that makes me weaker and weaker.
"Try to look at things objectively"
That only works temporarily man. I can dump myself in a bunch of work to escape the reality that I fear, but when I have nothing to do then it come back to bite me even harder.
I fall, I stand up, I suffer. The cycle repeat
What's the fucking solution for all of this dipshit man?
Well I could start working out to reduce my fat. Let's say I could become fit. It is possible. But will I be able to love myself? If yes then will I stop hating fat people? Will my personality change?
What is the point of "relieving my emotion", just another temporary solution. It doesn't actually solve anything
Ohhh boy I'm so fucking TIRED of all of these pesky little shits in my garbage life!
I have not became hollow. I just hold back my emotion more
Looking at things objectively, death is the solution to all my problems. If I'm dead I won't be able to feel depressed, ashamed, I don't need to worry about other's point of view about me, I won't have to worry about other. I can die a selfish death and just don't give a damn
My english is terrible so maybe this thread doesn't even make any sense to you. But whatever, my rant is over.
I get tired easily. I think I'm fat as fuck. I can't learn as fast as others. I always get flustered easily when I'm talking to girls.
I can't love myself.
I hate myself because I hate fat people, dumb people and people who are shy, aren't I? There are people who fit inside my little hate-standard, so when I realized I fit that standard I start hating myself too.
I'm fucking pathetic. But I will get over this somehow, I know it. I'm strong and hard working. But that's the scariest thing. Because I can get up from where I fall, I'm bound to fall again, and again, and again. Failure leaves scars. Scars accumulate. Because I'm so strong that makes me weaker and weaker.
"Try to look at things objectively"
That only works temporarily man. I can dump myself in a bunch of work to escape the reality that I fear, but when I have nothing to do then it come back to bite me even harder.
I fall, I stand up, I suffer. The cycle repeat
What's the fucking solution for all of this dipshit man?
Well I could start working out to reduce my fat. Let's say I could become fit. It is possible. But will I be able to love myself? If yes then will I stop hating fat people? Will my personality change?
What is the point of "relieving my emotion", just another temporary solution. It doesn't actually solve anything
Ohhh boy I'm so fucking TIRED of all of these pesky little shits in my garbage life!
I have not became hollow. I just hold back my emotion more
Looking at things objectively, death is the solution to all my problems. If I'm dead I won't be able to feel depressed, ashamed, I don't need to worry about other's point of view about me, I won't have to worry about other. I can die a selfish death and just don't give a damn
My english is terrible so maybe this thread doesn't even make any sense to you. But whatever, my rant is over.
