Story My best friend might die soon. how can I CTB afterwards?

[Donk]

my dog collapsed on the floor yesterday. The vet said his heart is failing and might not have much time left. May family and I are devastated by the news. At the same time I can't help but think how my CTB would cause even more emotional and psychological damage to my family and I feel a tremendous sense of guilt. What transpired cause me to double think my CTB plans and now I feel stuck in this world. I can't imagine living with MDD and Anhedonia for another few decades....I dunno maybe I should disassociate with everyone once Milo has passed. He's already 12 so he's lived a good life. I would like to think I've given him all physical and emotional needs each day. Anyways.... Thanks for reading my rant.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Of course, we have the right to take our lives at any time but I understand not wanting to cause others pain. I wish you well.