Venting My addiction and that i have to "grow up"

[thatguyakira123]

I just can't handel my addiction anymore. I can't handel my Depression and Anxiety anymore. I can't tolerate being in the same house as my abuser anymore. And yet still I can't put that rope around my neck and kill myself. My life is spiraling out of control, and one day I could end up behind bars, be it Jail or an Asylm. So I decided to send in a resume to a shitty factory job that I don't even want. Maybe I could just make money to move out, get drugs to deals with my brain and to help with my suicide.

I'm 28. I have to grow up as they say. But I dunno how. Hell I dunno how to manage myself now. But what I want doesn't matter anymore. This life was forced upon me. I don't want to live it but I'm forced to.