ApparentlyNot
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- Jul 8, 2023
- 139
Huge rant, no one needs to bother reading this fr. Use your time more wisely.
I spent a long time trying to get my record sealed without a lawyer (because I sure as fuck can't afford one); months and months of confusion and anxiety. my criminal charges are a huge source of anxiety for me. All misdemeanor charges stemming from drug addiction, my last charge being from when I was 19, and I just turned 28 last week. I finally managed to request and fill out all the weird paperwork and figure out all the bureaucracy bullshit even though the government goes out of their way to make it confusing as fuck. Incredibly stressful for me as someone who can barely handle fucking playing a video game. I swear half the reason I am a NEET is because there is basically nothing in this world that makes me more stressed and avoidant than addressing my charges with a potential employer. After years of anxiety and avoidance, I finally thought I had done it, on my way to getting it sealed. And I was actually proud of myself.
And I just found out that once my adult charges are sealed, I will still have my fucking juvenile record visible because they were considered "violation charges" and they don't get sealed upon becoming an adult like any other juvenile charge - I don't even know what that fucking means. I can't get a job, over fucking "high risk, violent charges" from when I was 15... a simple assault charge and a harassment charge (misdemeanors), which I got for yelling at my mom in a car that she physically wouldn't let me out of - a 15 year old yelling at her mom, wow, yes, hardcore criminal shit (yes this counts as simple assault because you don't have to have touched anyone for that charge despite the word "assault" making it sound otherwise). For a simple assault charge you need to simply scare someone into believing that their safety could be at risk lol, which is also funny because I was in a locked vehicle I wasn't able to escape from which she refused to let me out of... yeah sounds like I was clearly harassing her. An example of something that actually should be considered simple assault would be threatening someone with a knife. But my mom begged the police to arrest me and give me a charge. Was arrested and locked up for a month at 15 for that, taken out of school - I would never receive a real high school education again after that day. I was placed on juvenile probation, and for the rest of my youth I would violate that probation over and over by using heroin and failing drug tests, and they would arrest me and institutionalize me. The longest period of which lasted a year straight. For doing drugs. Being traumatized, degraded, and in literal jail, not receiving a highschool education. Technically I got credits because these facilities just make up grades/classes for you...
In my state (PA), you get all adult misdemeanor charges automatically sealed after a decade. In one year it will be a decade since I got my adult charges. I can't wait a year. I need a job. So I'm trying to do this shit now, a year before it would happen automatically. By the way, my adult charges include a fucking misdemeanor schedule 1 (the worst kind) possession charge over fucking weed... in a state I currently have a medical marijuana card in, which I got about 10 minutes out from a city where marijuana was decriminalized even at the time. The irony being that schedule 1 literally means that there is no accepted medical use of the substance.
Only now after speaking to a paralegal did I find out that my "violent charges" from when I was 15 are still there and visible to employers because its some special kind of charge - I could have gotten some legit ass felonies that would have been sealed upon turning 18, but nope not my special fucking "violation charges." I didn't know anyone except the government could see that shit. I knew it wasn't expunged, but I thought it was sealed upon me becoming an adult and getting off of juvenile probation... apparently not.
I have to deal with that shit now. I remember getting denied for jobs for years after employers would do my background check, even when I had told them in advance about all my charges and they told me it was fine, and now I know why, because they could see "violent, high risk" charges that I looked like I had lied about. because I WAS A MINOR AND I THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS SEALED. How the fuck is that legal?? If I had copped the exact same charges as an adult at 18, they would have been automatically sealed by now, but because I was a MINOR they're not????! I feel like every single time I try to fix something I am just fucking kicked down.
I was just a fucking depressed drug addicted teenager and instead of help I was offered charges that follow me forever and deeply traumatic arrests, complete denial of a high school education, and years of institutionalization.
I was told I need to ask my fucking governor for a pardon. I just want to die right now. I am so broken. I feel like there was no point in trying anything. I lost my college scholarship over that fucking weed charge. I ended up being institutionalized for several years as a minor due to charges stemming from addiction and depression. For yelling at my mom and for having weed. I'm fucking 28. Please just fucking let me be a fucking person. I just feel so fucking horrible I even bothered trying.
I spent a long time trying to get my record sealed without a lawyer (because I sure as fuck can't afford one); months and months of confusion and anxiety. my criminal charges are a huge source of anxiety for me. All misdemeanor charges stemming from drug addiction, my last charge being from when I was 19, and I just turned 28 last week. I finally managed to request and fill out all the weird paperwork and figure out all the bureaucracy bullshit even though the government goes out of their way to make it confusing as fuck. Incredibly stressful for me as someone who can barely handle fucking playing a video game. I swear half the reason I am a NEET is because there is basically nothing in this world that makes me more stressed and avoidant than addressing my charges with a potential employer. After years of anxiety and avoidance, I finally thought I had done it, on my way to getting it sealed. And I was actually proud of myself.
And I just found out that once my adult charges are sealed, I will still have my fucking juvenile record visible because they were considered "violation charges" and they don't get sealed upon becoming an adult like any other juvenile charge - I don't even know what that fucking means. I can't get a job, over fucking "high risk, violent charges" from when I was 15... a simple assault charge and a harassment charge (misdemeanors), which I got for yelling at my mom in a car that she physically wouldn't let me out of - a 15 year old yelling at her mom, wow, yes, hardcore criminal shit (yes this counts as simple assault because you don't have to have touched anyone for that charge despite the word "assault" making it sound otherwise). For a simple assault charge you need to simply scare someone into believing that their safety could be at risk lol, which is also funny because I was in a locked vehicle I wasn't able to escape from which she refused to let me out of... yeah sounds like I was clearly harassing her. An example of something that actually should be considered simple assault would be threatening someone with a knife. But my mom begged the police to arrest me and give me a charge. Was arrested and locked up for a month at 15 for that, taken out of school - I would never receive a real high school education again after that day. I was placed on juvenile probation, and for the rest of my youth I would violate that probation over and over by using heroin and failing drug tests, and they would arrest me and institutionalize me. The longest period of which lasted a year straight. For doing drugs. Being traumatized, degraded, and in literal jail, not receiving a highschool education. Technically I got credits because these facilities just make up grades/classes for you...
In my state (PA), you get all adult misdemeanor charges automatically sealed after a decade. In one year it will be a decade since I got my adult charges. I can't wait a year. I need a job. So I'm trying to do this shit now, a year before it would happen automatically. By the way, my adult charges include a fucking misdemeanor schedule 1 (the worst kind) possession charge over fucking weed... in a state I currently have a medical marijuana card in, which I got about 10 minutes out from a city where marijuana was decriminalized even at the time. The irony being that schedule 1 literally means that there is no accepted medical use of the substance.
Only now after speaking to a paralegal did I find out that my "violent charges" from when I was 15 are still there and visible to employers because its some special kind of charge - I could have gotten some legit ass felonies that would have been sealed upon turning 18, but nope not my special fucking "violation charges." I didn't know anyone except the government could see that shit. I knew it wasn't expunged, but I thought it was sealed upon me becoming an adult and getting off of juvenile probation... apparently not.
I have to deal with that shit now. I remember getting denied for jobs for years after employers would do my background check, even when I had told them in advance about all my charges and they told me it was fine, and now I know why, because they could see "violent, high risk" charges that I looked like I had lied about. because I WAS A MINOR AND I THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS SEALED. How the fuck is that legal?? If I had copped the exact same charges as an adult at 18, they would have been automatically sealed by now, but because I was a MINOR they're not????! I feel like every single time I try to fix something I am just fucking kicked down.
I was just a fucking depressed drug addicted teenager and instead of help I was offered charges that follow me forever and deeply traumatic arrests, complete denial of a high school education, and years of institutionalization.
I was told I need to ask my fucking governor for a pardon. I just want to die right now. I am so broken. I feel like there was no point in trying anything. I lost my college scholarship over that fucking weed charge. I ended up being institutionalized for several years as a minor due to charges stemming from addiction and depression. For yelling at my mom and for having weed. I'm fucking 28. Please just fucking let me be a fucking person. I just feel so fucking horrible I even bothered trying.
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