To me existing will always and only be suffering and I suffer simply from being burdened with this dreadful, torturous existence I just always saw as a mistake, I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, all I want is to never suffer again but of course all the suffering just continues
For me only non-existence is positive, I just want all to be gone and forgotten for me with no more pain and no more suffering, I find it so deeply undesirable to exist and as long as I exist I'll only wish to be gone. I just want to never suffer ever again, for me wanting to cease existing is a response to existence itself and I'll just always see it as an abomination to be burdened with this existence with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and I just suffer so much from being trapped in this existence so cruelly denied the option to cease existing painlessly, I find it so terrifying and unbearable how a human can suffer for so long just to be tortured by old age.