Moral question: to go to the party or not?

[Wannadie]

Oke this might sound really stupid, but I really don't know what the best option is. One of my best friends is throwing her first birthday party in years, her 18th birthday party, on the 14th of December. I don't want to ctb before then because I know that losing someone to suicide hurts and eventhough I truly believe she will get over it pretty fast, it seems pretty cruel to do it so close to a date that is so important to her. I don't want to ruin her birthday party. So now I set my date for the 15th of December, but I don't know whether the best option is to go to the party or not. The pro is that it will be some kind of good last memory, the con is that I'm scared she'll blame herself for "not noticing something was wrong that night". I know people will be shocked and hurt no matter what but I care about her a lot and she's a vulnerable person and I just really wish her the best. What do I do? Do I go to the party for a fun last memory or do I not go to avoid the chance that she'll blame herself for not noticing something?

I originally wanted to do it later but I got my hands on a prepaid Mastercard which gave me access to SN. It should arrive Dec 13th and I don't want to ctb too close to Christmas, but I def don't want to live anymore when it's Christmas so it's not an option to do it after the Holidays

 

[Crest33]

This is very personal matter so the choice is really up to you. If I know i would enjoy myself at the party, I would go. I should try to have a good time. If the party wouldn't be enjoyable, I wouldn't go.

In both cases I should ctb after the party if it's possible. The people will be heartbroken and shocked anyway. And i guess people will blame themselves in both cases.

How accurate are those shipping times, because where I live it's never the day it should arrive expect for expensive orders.

 

[gingerplum]

This is an easy one.

Make an excuse not to go to the party; send a gift before if you like. Change your date until after the party. This way, your friend's party isn't clouded by the shadow of your death, and she can't blame herself for not "noticing something was wrong".

Miss Manners herself would approve.

 

[Wannadie]

This is very personal matter so the choice is really up to you. If I know i would enjoy myself at the party, I would go. I should try to have a good time. If the party wouldn't be enjoyable, I wouldn't go.

In both cases I should ctb after the party if it's possible. The people will be heartbroken and shocked anyway. And i guess people will blame themselves in both cases.

How accurate are those shipping times, because where I live it's never the day it should arrive expect for expensive orders.

I HATE party's. I have both social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder and I can tell you that that's not a good party mix haha.... I would really go for the sake of my friend if I were to go.

Yes I'm def not planning on doing it before it. I really want her to experience that it can be fun doing these kind of things.

I'm not 100 % sure but I really hope they're accurate. Or at least recieved before the 15th

 

[Wannadie]

This is an easy one.

Make an excuse not to go to the party; send a gift before if you like. Change your date until after the party. This way, your friend's party isn't clouded by the shadow of your death, and she can't blame herself for not "noticing something was wrong".

Miss Manners herself would approve.

My date is already after her party (: her party is on the 14th of December, my date is the 15th. I did give her a gift already and there will be quite a lot of other people too, I don't think she'll actually miss me if I'm not at the party. I just feel guilty for not supporting her with something that she finds hard

 

[Crest33]

I HATE party's. I have both social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder and I can tell you that that's not a good party mix haha.... I would really go for the sake of my friend if I were to go.

Yes I'm def not planning on doing it before it. I really want her to experience that it can be fun doing these kind of things.

I'm not 100 % sure but I really hope they're accurate. Or at least recieved before the 15th

In that case I agree 100% with gingerplum. Don't go if this going to be uneasy for you.

 

[gingerplum]

My date is already after her party (: her party is on the 14th of December, my date is the 15th. I did give her a gift already and there will be quite a lot of other people too, I don't think she'll actually miss me if I'm not at the party. I just feel guilty for not supporting her with something that she finds hard

Sorry I didn't read carefully enough. I still say make your excuse and sticking to your plan is reasonable.

 

[Wannadie]

Sorry I didn't read carefully enough. I still say make your excuse and sticking to your plan is reasonable.

In that case I agree 100% with gingerplum. Don't go if this going to be uneasy for you.

Thank you both, it's really reassuring to also hear it from other people

 

[gingerplum]

Thank you both, it's really reassuring to also hear it from other people

Happy to help. I hope you're at ease and feeling free of any guilt, regardless of what you decide.

 

[Whatiwantiswhatiwas]

So I have 2 friends birthdays one yesterday and one on Sunday. I went yesterday put on a happy face. I wanted to do it before Sunday but I know that would absolutely destroy my friend. So I decided that I would do as many social things as possible so people could have a nice lasting memory of me. It's so bad I didn't think of the fact they may blame themselves for not seeing the pain in ur eyes ‍. So I will do it next week. If I can be sure on a method. Personally I would go. You may even forget ur pain for afew hours at least and maybe write her a note when u actually do it. So she knows she is not blame at all x

 

[Jiva]

Please, do this at least one week after, i think. She can think, the linkage exists, if you die at next day. It is my opinion.

 

[furax53]

go ah the party will do me pleasure ah you friends and wait oh oh 3 ah 4 days for ctb after the birthday

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

Go to the party.