dinosavr
and if i’m turning blue please don’t save me 🌛
- Dec 14, 2023
- 495
A day after I was supposed to be dead, I've decided I'd be taking random videos of any moments that felt somewhat special or just beautiful or iconic. I have a bunch of them now and I've put them in a compilation with some nostalgic music lol. We can safely assume that these were the best moments of the year. They included the sea, a concert, my family's pets, road trips, etc = they were objectively good experiences.
And I thought making this video would make me feel better, like, okay, life actually might be beautiful, at least sometimes. Buuuuut it's not what happened. Instead, I feel like I'm wasting my time, money and energy on stuff that doesn't even make me happy anymore. Oh good a picnic by the sea with seagulls flying over the horizon and the sunset. Great :) But I look at it and I feel nothing. It could just as well be regular clouded sky, with no birds, no sea, whatsoever.
Life is N O T worth living. This tiny tiny second of feeling good or grateful doesn't make all this pain disappear. I still have to struggle every single day of my life. And if I had minimal joy out of that, I'd be able to get through it. But I'm so not. I'm so tired already. Please make it stop or prove me wrong or whatever. I don't know, I don't have a single fucking clue what I should do :( There's a limit on how long you can wait for a miracle to happen.
And I thought making this video would make me feel better, like, okay, life actually might be beautiful, at least sometimes. Buuuuut it's not what happened. Instead, I feel like I'm wasting my time, money and energy on stuff that doesn't even make me happy anymore. Oh good a picnic by the sea with seagulls flying over the horizon and the sunset. Great :) But I look at it and I feel nothing. It could just as well be regular clouded sky, with no birds, no sea, whatsoever.
Life is N O T worth living. This tiny tiny second of feeling good or grateful doesn't make all this pain disappear. I still have to struggle every single day of my life. And if I had minimal joy out of that, I'd be able to get through it. But I'm so not. I'm so tired already. Please make it stop or prove me wrong or whatever. I don't know, I don't have a single fucking clue what I should do :( There's a limit on how long you can wait for a miracle to happen.