Venting Mistake that ruined my life

[ZoloftSüchtig]

I did a huge mistake. I don't wanna talk about what that mistake was exactly, but it changed my life so much and I just wanna go back in time and undo this stupid mistake. No one saved me. I was a child/teenager but no one saved me. I can't accept that this happened. Why can't I go back in time? I hope! I hope! I hope that when I die I get another chance at the same life as the same person but without doing this stupid stupid mistake that ruined this life! I'm miserable and no one in real life understand me. They can't. They might try to but they can't. If I die I don't want them to remember me like this. I want them to remember me as the person I was before the mistake.
Idk what I'm writing here. I guess I'm just venting. Sorry

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Same really

 

[venin]

I did a huge mistake. I don't wanna talk about what that mistake was exactly, but it changed my life so much and I just wanna go back in time and undo this stupid mistake. No one saved me. I was a child/teenager but no one saved me. I can't accept that this happened. Why can't I go back in time? I hope! I hope! I hope that when I die I get another chance at the same life as the same person but without doing this stupid stupid mistake that ruined this life! I'm miserable and no one in real life understand me. They can't. They might try to but they can't. If I die I don't want them to remember me like this. I want them to remember me as the person I was before the mistake.
Idk what I'm writing here. I guess I'm just venting. Sorry

Was it really that awful?

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really awful feeling trapped in that situation, I find it so dreadful how existing can very easily just get worse but anyway best wishes, existence really is too cruel.

 

[Minsu]

Omg same here. My mistake is irreversible unfortunately so I actually have 2 choices.
1) live a terrible life with a lot of pain and suffering
2) kill myself

 

[Under Pressure]

I understand this exactly. I ruminate all the time and have the same thoughts of going back in time. Some days are better than others for me. Sorry you are going through this. :(

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

Was it really that awful?

Sadly yes. But talking about it probably would just make it even worse.

 

[venin]

Sadly yes. But talking about it probably would just make it even worse.

That's fucked up… I'm sorry

 

[Unattainable666]

Last time I checked you are human. We all make mistakes. IF you learned from the mistake you have overcome it. I don't know what the "mistake" is but I do know that if people dont forgive you for a mistake then maybe you don't need them in your life (including family). This is just my opinion - trust me I've made many mistakes - one that cost my child's life so I know how a mistake can change your life. Hang in there.

 

[jessisme]

Last time I checked you are human. We all make mistakes. IF you learned from the mistake you have overcome it. I don't know what the "mistake" is but I do know that if people dont forgive you for a mistake then maybe you don't need them in your life (including family). This is just my opinion - trust me I've made many mistakes - one that cost my child's life so I know how a mistake can change your life. Hang in there.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your child, it must be so painful and something you never get over. My experience is that some mistakes are never forgiven. I was fired from my last job and evicted from my last apartment. I have been on disability for the past thirteen years. The consequence is that no one wants to hire me or rent to me. This will stay the same until something changes. The result is that I am a middle aged person who lives with and is entirely dependent on my elderly mother (my father passed away two years ago). Be very careful in what you say and do. In everything you do and say keep in mind preserving your good reputation personally and professionally. I am here seeking ctb because of this mess I am in and my inability to move forward. Once my mother can no longer support me I will slip into homelessness and all that comes with it. I have completely and entirely failed at life. It can't be fixed now. It can only be escaped from. That is why I come here. But it's no easy fix I have found.

 

[lachrymost]

Adding to the chorus of sames.