Simple question, simple poll, do you attribute your current (assumingly bad) condition to financial problems, and if so, how much?
My parents had a bank loan. Then, they split up and I lived with my mother. She had severe alcohol problems, and even drove drunk once, and she couldn't manage her economy or keep a job. Therefore, she insisted that I co-sign a bank loan - this was 8 years ago. Then, she quit paying to her old bank and started paying to the new bank that she got the new loan from. Then, she filed for personal bankruptcy 3,5 years ago, at which point I sued the collection agency that took over her bank loan from the bank. In the court case, I explained that the bank had not done a proper credit check on my mother and me before approving my mother's loan, in which case the bank would know that my mother and I didn't have enough money to guarantee that the loan would be pain back, and so they wouldn't have any right to approve the loan. In other words, I had no job back then, and would only receive an additional 200 Euros in student aid money from the state at that time. In turn, the collection agency presented false evidence about me having a full-time salary back then, and made claims about the bank's loan approval process, which I proved false by presenting documents from the bank's website. For having lied, I called the two lawyers that represented the collection agency in the court case, as witnesses, in order to hold them accountable for having presented false evidence, and I also asked the court to allow me to add, to the court case, that the collection agency should cease and desist. Having defended themselves against me in court for about 11 months without success, and having no fair way left to fight the case against me, the collection agency requested that my case be dismissed, and presented some kind of a certificate - which
another collection agency had gotten from the state 5 years prior - which states that the holder of the certificate has the right to demand that the loan borrower or any co-signee pay the full amount to them. The collection agency also claimed that they just discovered the certificate, and that they weren't aware that the certificate encompassed me, at which time the court accepted the collection agency's request to dismiss my case. So, I have no legal avenue to fight the loan, that was never mine.
The collection agency then sent a payment demand towards me to the state last year, at which point I panicked - meaning that I could barely sleep at night, so I went to bed right after work at 6 or 7 PM and woke up at night at 11 PM. Then, I was awake all night and the next day until it was time to sleep after work the next day. This sleeping pattern continued for several weeks. I also began a bad drinking habit, which exacerbated my sleeping disorder. I told my manager at work that my life had been torn apart. She asked if I had any "bad thoughts", so I told her that I was suicidal and could do nothing else but cry, so she asked me to visit a doctor or a psychiatrist, which I did. Then, I visited a doctor to whom I explained my situation clearly, but then he asked if I had any suicidal ideations, at which point I couldn't hold the tears back. He diagnosed me as being very depressed and being at risk of suicide. However, I got some anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications, which helped me to sleep better.
Now, my mother is not paying anything, while courts have decided that I need to pay almost 90 000 Euros, plus interest that keeps increasing exponentially every month - even though my mother didn't borrow any money from that new bank. This is the reason for me being here in the first place. I got the wrong parents...
Because of this situation, I have no future - it has been too tough for me to handle, so I quit keeping in touch with my friends 3 years ago, when I first began the legal fight against the collection agency.
I could also file for personal bankruptcy and hope that it gets approved, in which case I will need to keep paying the collection agency for a maximum of five years, all the while I will live on minimum wage. If it doesn't get approved, I'm looking at a life time of minimum wage, for having never borrowed a dime in my life. In turn, this means that I may never get to form a family of my own, since that costs money, so what's the point of living...?
I have contemplated trying to move abroad and "disappear", but why should I need to do that and live like a fugitive - and why keep fighting when I can just end my life instead...? Currently, I have SN ready at hand and am waiting for something to push me off the cliff, which will probably happen relatively shortly, since the company that I work for is losing customers, and I have no financial buffer in case the company does go bankrupt, in which case I will have my reason to end it all.