Venting Messy house

[MsMaudlin]

Does anyone here find that since becoming so depressed and suicidal their home has got messy?
I just have no energy lots of pain and it's so bad. I must admit when I CTB I will feel guilty for leaving this mess behind. Lots of tears today, totally frustrated with my pathetic existance
❤

 

[Thereisnothing]

As I am so very ill physically now I cant do much round the house as symptoms and pains so bad and have noone who can help................so do empathize with this............makes me frustrated as was never really spick and span, but always liked a clean and tidy home...............also so low with my grief and struggling to even begin process all that..........being so ill and all the emotional things, does get on top of me. I try not to feel pathetic, although its hard. For today am going to try and allow myself just to 'be' and not think about anything, it wont stop all the above but least gives me less of a hard time............and thats a big problem I feel, giving ourselves a hard time, when if we were looking in on someone else in same predicament, then we would be very caring and nurturing to them and hope they would be............I can barely even move out of bed today with such severe physical pains, so really got not much choice but to stay put, its scary when all alone and this ill mind............just hope tomorrow might be less intense.................hugs to you

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I am totally the opposite, I used to not be too fussed, now all sudden I am too fussy and nothing is ever clean enough, I don't know how much of this is part of me able to do something in my life without it being moaned about, or being told i'm doing wrong,
It frustrates me, I wish I could leave a bit of clutter but I can't!

 

[AintNoWayOut]

yes, my pain has made me just not care... my room is pretty messy now like my bed isnt made, but it isnt awful. mostly because i live with my dad who will give me shit for it. back when i lived with my mom and didnt work though i'd stay inside most of the time and sometimes not change my clothes for weeks. disgusting yeah, but it was the least of my concerns.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Oh, I'm so sorry you were crying today. I hope you your pain eases up. It's hard to be motivated when your depressed to do anything. I know the feeling all too well.

 

[k75]

The more depressed I get, the messier my apartment gets. No energy, no motivation. The only thing that saves me is my landlord stops by randomly and my best friend has a key to my place and checks on me. I feel like I can't let either see the place destroyed, so I go as long as I can and then force myself to emergency clean. It sucks.

But it's also kinda keeping me alive. I promised myself I would pack up and clean the apartment before doing anything. I'm determined I'm not going to leave them with a mess on top of what I'm planning. So I'll feel impulsive and want to hurt myself, but then I remember the place is a wreck and I don't feel like cleaning, and then I can get a grip on things. Or I'll start to clean, but the urge dies down while I'm working. It always ends in me getting little done and going to sleep.

It doesn't mean I don't really want to do it. Just for now, I'm too concerned with things being perfect first. I'll be in trouble when I'm finally done with my chore list.

 

[Indieblue]

I am cleaning my room. Planning on killing myself strangely gave me motivation to do it. And i have not cleaned my room for i think 2 years. There are lots of things to clean!

 

[BPD Barbie]

I get irritated when the space around me isn't clean but sometimes I'm too tired to clean it. Vicious circle.

 

[highlyvolatile]

Usually im too depressed to clean anything but ill help a relative with hers. Its odd.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I have a borderline hoarding situation here. My husband does the day-to-day (dishes, food into the fridge, garbage out) but we're drowning in inventory for my little business. I often think about cleaning up or just sorting through a pile but I can lose my motivation in a flash.

It does bother me to think about the ambulance or coroner coming in here, but I also know that if the time's right, I won't care.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to let go of my fantasy scenario and just be in reality, but that's hard.

 

[Dear Flabby]

Ever since I started having fibromyalgia (2005), I haven't been able to keep my house clean. It feels so degrading and makes me more depressed.
It is one of the minor things that have chipped away at my quality of life. Put together with the big things, I am completely done here!
Sending hugs and peace to all who struggle with pain and despair.

 

[Ghost2211]

wouldn't call the house clean, but also not dirty. The kids provide a certain level of constant mess. If I wanted a clean house I would have to clean nonstop.

 

[OldGod]

Don't feel guilty. Since my recent situation, I've really been letting things go. Dishes mostly, and the stove-top is a mess. Drain is clogged in the tub, light is out in the fridge, sheets need to be washed, clothes need to be put away, I just don't have it in me to do it and not much incentive since I know nobody is coming to visit.

I'll tell you though, when you get all that stuff cleaned up and sorted out you feel a lot better. You can say "Okay, today wasn't a total waste. I did something really productive. It was very hard for me but I did it." Being in a clean environment always enhances a mood. If you're determined to CTB then I would consider cleaning up beforehand. Don't go out in a total mess. You might even decide to see how the rest of your day/night goes after you feel a little better <3

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

Does anyone here find that since becoming so depressed and suicidal their home has got messy?
I just have no energy lots of pain and it's so bad. I must admit when I CTB I will feel guilty for leaving this mess behind. Lots of tears today, totally frustrated with my pathetic existance
❤

My house is a disaster. I was just gazing out into my living room like I cannot move. I cannot clean this up and it looks terrible. You are not alone.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

I am totally the opposite, I used to not be too fussed, now all sudden I am too fussy and nothing is ever clean enough, I don't know how much of this is part of me able to do something in my life without it being moaned about, or being told i'm doing wrong,
It frustrates me, I wish I could leave a bit of clutter but I can't!

I'm the same.... Very minimalist hate clutter and mess it stresses me out massively

 

[mesohappy]

I have so much mess to get caught up on in this house,but no motivation or energy.Managed to get the dishes done yesterday and cleaned my shower the day before that..Felt like huge accomplishments.

 

[Mr2005]

I can't actually see my floor anymore.

 

[voyager]

I feel you. My problem is actually both. The house is a mess, and I'm a perfectionist with no energy. Terrible combination. The perfectionist part came about with the mhi, before I was more balanced.

At the heighth of my depression I simply couldn't get anything done. My room was a complete mess and every few months I had to clean it out and it usually took around 2-3 huge bin bags. Of course I was too lazy to even carry them down to the first floor or outside, so I'd just dump them in the spare room next to mine. So, that eventually became a problem, too. My hygiene at the time was a disaster as well. As for the rest of house/garden in general that's not so much my fault, my brother contributed mightily. Over the years I've become cleaner, my room has been tidy for about 17+ years now (as is the spare room). Just had it one day. There's a few things on the floor, but could have those put away in 15mins. I've also done a lot in the house, but there are still some messy parts and most of all I need to fix up parts of the place (flooring, wallpapers, painting, kitchen, bath needs an overhaul). When that is done, so am I.

 

[one4all]

You should see the wall of beer cans i have going

 

[ForensicallyAware]

My place is a mess and cluttered

I'm lucky I've not been evicted

I just find it impossible to motivate myself to tackle it

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

Does anyone here find that since becoming so depressed and suicidal their home has got messy?
I just have no energy lots of pain and it's so bad. I must admit when I CTB I will feel guilty for leaving this mess behind. Lots of tears today, totally frustrated with my pathetic existance
❤

I quit opening mail in 2015. Lol my kitchen and food a

I am totally the opposite, I used to not be too fussed, now all sudden I am too fussy and nothing is ever clean enough, I don't know how much of this is part of me able to do something in my life without it being moaned about, or being told i'm doing wrong,
It frustrates me, I wish I could leave a bit of clutter but I can't!

I wish that were contagious!!!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I have ocd. My house was always clean and tidy. Now it's a mess, especially the kitchen. It's a mark of how low I've sunk that even the impending feelings of doom don't necessarily motivate me to clean stuff up.

 

[Flump]

I used to be OCD, my house was immaculate, not a thing out of place now it's one big mess. I had so much energy so much life then I lost the most important person in my life and from that day apart of me died too and I lost all my love for everything and anything. I just need peace now and to rest with my boy

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

The people who are still OCD should start a housecleaning service for those of us too depressed to clean!!!

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

I can't actually see my floor anymore.

Now, THAT'S how it's done. And gimme that cute tuxedo cat! Who is he/she?

 

[S1mpleme]

Does anyone here find that since becoming so depressed and suicidal their home has got messy?
I just have no energy lots of pain and it's so bad. I must admit when I CTB I will feel guilty for leaving this mess behind. Lots of tears today, totally frustrated with my pathetic existance
❤

I woke up today with pain and full of sadness. There are days when I feel terrible and I don't pay attention on mess around, but cleaning is actually something that helps to forget about my shitty life, I have enough mess in my life at least my house is clean, I hate mess and love when everything's on its place. Anyways, you're not guilty at all, is not your fault about how do you feel and that there is no one around to help you with that mess. You just trying your best as everyone else.

 

[Ferret]

Nope. During periods of being down and anxious I clean and tidy like there's no tomorrow.

Every cloud and all that.

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

Now, THAT'S how it's done. And gimme that cute tuxedo cat! Who is he/she?

I dont get it lol. Are you just being silly bc it is funny

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

I dont get it lol. Are you just being silly bc it is funny

im just being silly and relating. sometimes i cant see the floor either! lol. also, i was complimenting the cat.

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

Oh lol :) um ya, my floors are a mess too!