Venting Men that used to bully or ignore me in school are now suddenly very sexually interested in me and reaching out to me?

[BlueButterfly111]

I know this isn't anything special or new, but something is very weird about it. Men that I used to go to school with, all of them who either made fun of me or ignored me are now reaching out to me as an adult. I recently got back to using social media a little bit here and there, I mainly started using it for a specific reason, but it led to me getting in contact with people from the past, like people that I went to school with and distant family members reaching out to me. Like I said, I know it's nothing special about this, I'm sure this happens all the time, but something is weird about it to me because all of the men have been weirdly sexual towards me. I'm only 23, so I'm still very young, so maybe this has something to do with it, but I just find this really weird. I grew up in a small town, and I was always the weird quiet girl and no one showed much interest in me, so I'm not sure why now all of a sudden.

I'm pretty sure that I had kind of a "glow up" as I got older, so I know I could appear more attractive than I was in school. I also want to add that I'm not flattered by this at all, this is actually very offensive and weird to me, and it makes me feel bad and wish they never would've reached out to me at all, and I wonder why they keep doing this. Like literally I don't post anything sexual on my social media, so idk why they think I am interested in sex with them. I understand that they are trying to take advantage of me, but I'm not sure why they think they can do that. I'm pretty sure that they aren't immediately getting sexual with or contacting all the girls they went to school with like this, so I'm not sure why they do it to me, but I've been told that I have a very innocent and kind looking face so maybe that's why?

Perhaps this has worked for them with other people, so they decide to try it on me for some reason. I know a lot of women get sexually harassed so this is nothing new, but like I said I highly doubt that they're doing this to every other girl I went to school with but idk. Maybe it's because they see that I'm single with no kids or apparent boyfriend like everyone else, so they think I must be desperate to have sex for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I'm open to connection, and would love to connect with people, or genuinely catch up on life, but that's not what's happening here, the men are just contacting me and immediately trying to get sexual with me…

My friend said that she met a man that immediately started trying to get sexual with her, so maybe that's what people do nowadays? Hookup culture? Idk. I also wanted to add that the people contacting me I think all have children now, and I don't, so I thought this was an interesting detail…

 

[CC123]

Some men are creeps and opportunistic.
Some get off on annoying women and like the rejection as they know they got to you.
Ignore as many as you want to.
Don't tell them to go to hell, just ignore them.
Sorry you are getting hassled this way.

 

[Pluto]

 

[TokaNoOwari]

Some men are creeps and opportunistic.
Some get off on annoying women and like the rejection as they know they got to you.

Also: Some men, especially teenagers, for some weird reason think that being rude, arrogant and offensive is a great dating strategy. Most of them end up learning that it is not bringing the desired results and they become tolerable humans again.

 

[BlueButterfly111]

Also: Some men, especially teenagers, for some weird reason think that being rude, arrogant and offensive is a great dating strategy. Most of them end up learning that it is not bringing the desired results and they become tolerable humans again.

That's the weird thing about it to me, I would expect this behavior from a teenager, but not from grown men in their 20's. It was weird when they started immediately trying to get sexual with me because I was asking myself "have they not grown up yet?" Unless this is still normal behavior to have in your 20's or apparently for men in general and I just wasn't aware. I find it hard to believe that they do this with every woman they encounter, but maybe this is just what they do and I was unaware of it.

I've been feeling like it's something about me, like maybe because I seem really nice and I have an innocent way about me or something could be the reason why they do it to me. I don't even think it's some kind of dating strategy, because they are immediately trying to get sexual with me just because they saw me on social media and went to school with me, despite me barely knowing them, and not revealing anything sexual about myself on social media.

And they are not teenagers. They seem to act normal with other people, and some even have kids, so I wonder why they do it to me, unless this is just some kind of dating or hookup culture that I'm unaware of, and this is actually how they apparently got the women that they had kids with. Idk, all of this is very weird to me, I know I'm thinking about it too hard, but I never thought dating culture would be like this at least for me as an adult. I know some men are just perverts and all that, but these are people that I grew up with, and they seem to act normal in many areas of life, so I'm confused about it.

 

[CC123]

immature and insecure

 

[BlueButterfly111]

immature and insecure

What do you think they're insecure about, lol? How does being insecure make them do this? Sorry I'm only asking questions because I don't really understand human behavior and I feel like an alien from a different planet and will be getting assessed for autism hopefully soon. I like to analyze human behavior to really understand the "whys" because literally no one explains anything to me. I'm usually just left to figure things out on my own in confusion, lol!

 

[CC123]

build themselves up by tearing you down -- really quite pathetic

 

[Quietist]

This happened to me in high school.

One year I was the weird-looking, slightly overweight girl that boys used to make fun of; the next year, after a slight glow-up, I was being propositioned for sex.

It's objectification. Either way, whether they diss you or lust after you, they don't respect you or care about you as a person.

Male attention has no value.

 

[BlueButterfly111]

This happened to me in high school.

One year I was the weird-looking, slightly overweight girl that boys used to make fun of; the next year, after a slight glow-up, I was being propositioned for sex.

It's objectification. Either way, whether they diss you or lust after you, they don't respect you or care about you as a person.

Male attention has no value.

I understand that, but I'm just trying to understand why they are doing it, do they really just behave off of instincts like animals? What about the women they actually end up having some kind of relationship with? Did they do this same thing to them and it worked because they were young or naive?

I think I should've posted this in the autism subreddits because I think I have it, and they might be able to explain this behavior more clearly. I'm like constantly trying to analyze human behavior, because I always have weird interactions with people that make no sense to me but it's apparently "obvious" to everyone else socially.

I don't understand how people are getting into relationships with these people especially when this is the only type of behavior that I've experienced, (with the exception of course of my partner who passed away, but he was special and it was easy to love and understand him.) I know I'm probably asking these questions in the wrong place, sorry lol. I know no one has all the answers.

 

[CC123]

understand that, but I'm just trying to understand why they are doing it, do they really just behave off of instincts like animals?

Fabulous question. Wish I and others had the answer. Maybe testosterone poisoning.