Anhaedra
Member
- May 5, 2024
- 69
Hello, not sure which section I should post this thread to but this is where most of the people are.
Lets start with my history with medications. Ive been on and off ssri's and antipsychotics since 2017 up to the start of 2024. Typically, I'd take meds for few weeks before I quit them (I know its not the best way to get off meds but I really got sick of them). The reason why I got off meds so often is because it robbed me of my energy, focus, thoughts, and feelings. Since last May, I returned again to taking meds, but this time I didnt quit them. And I've been taking them ever since due to my suicidal tendencies and ideation.
Normally I wouldn't care about any of this as long as I can work and have a normal life. However I really love writing poems and stories. And the lack of all that makes me so apathetic to characters relations, romance, and much more. My sentences are so flat and lack emotions. My descriptions are so weak and boring. I compared my writing now to when I was off meds and the difference is really showing. I know my english isnt perfect, but I used to make do with what words and verbs I know. Right now, I cant recall the words I need and I keep repeating words and verbs all over again making my writing boring and repetitive.
So last week, I stopped writing completely, as I dont see the reason why I'd keep writing so badly. I really wish I could return to when I was off meds, but I dont think I could function normally. Sometimes I think its not the meds that's doing so but the depression and anhedonia. I cant really tell but I think its a mix of both things.
Did anyone have similar experience? And what did you do to combat it?
Lets start with my history with medications. Ive been on and off ssri's and antipsychotics since 2017 up to the start of 2024. Typically, I'd take meds for few weeks before I quit them (I know its not the best way to get off meds but I really got sick of them). The reason why I got off meds so often is because it robbed me of my energy, focus, thoughts, and feelings. Since last May, I returned again to taking meds, but this time I didnt quit them. And I've been taking them ever since due to my suicidal tendencies and ideation.
Normally I wouldn't care about any of this as long as I can work and have a normal life. However I really love writing poems and stories. And the lack of all that makes me so apathetic to characters relations, romance, and much more. My sentences are so flat and lack emotions. My descriptions are so weak and boring. I compared my writing now to when I was off meds and the difference is really showing. I know my english isnt perfect, but I used to make do with what words and verbs I know. Right now, I cant recall the words I need and I keep repeating words and verbs all over again making my writing boring and repetitive.
So last week, I stopped writing completely, as I dont see the reason why I'd keep writing so badly. I really wish I could return to when I was off meds, but I dont think I could function normally. Sometimes I think its not the meds that's doing so but the depression and anhedonia. I cant really tell but I think its a mix of both things.
Did anyone have similar experience? And what did you do to combat it?
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