I am here again. My attempt has been renewed again. It seems that my vision of my future seems true...
I am going to be 39y this year. When I was younger, I could not see where I was in the future past 40. All I could see is black or greyish entirely. I cant see anything beyond that..
It has been like that for a few years... Maybe is a telling sign for me..
I lost someone I love yesterday... I will never be together with him. It is due to selfishness, fear and indeciviness from my part. I regret it very deeply but ntg could change that. I shattered his dreams of being married and have kids before any of his grandparents pass away. Unfortunately I could not commit to him and he ultimately blocked me last Dec. Last night I sent him an email of a plan and commitment from my part but he told me his maternal grandparent passed away and wants nothing to do with me anymore. He said he and his family will not accept me to be part of his family due to my past actions which I understand.
I could never be someone I wish I could be. I confessed my heart break to my mum for the first time. I have been trying to be the positive/normal sibling in my family but I failed to do that. I am thankful for my mum for listening to me without judgement.
I love my family and my pets. I have a pension acc and I plan to give it to my to my brother.
As crazy as it sounds I will try to gather the suppliers to end it all...
Thank you for reading.
Note : I hope the younger members to give yourself a chance.
I am going to be 39y this year. When I was younger, I could not see where I was in the future past 40. All I could see is black or greyish entirely. I cant see anything beyond that..
It has been like that for a few years... Maybe is a telling sign for me..
I lost someone I love yesterday... I will never be together with him. It is due to selfishness, fear and indeciviness from my part. I regret it very deeply but ntg could change that. I shattered his dreams of being married and have kids before any of his grandparents pass away. Unfortunately I could not commit to him and he ultimately blocked me last Dec. Last night I sent him an email of a plan and commitment from my part but he told me his maternal grandparent passed away and wants nothing to do with me anymore. He said he and his family will not accept me to be part of his family due to my past actions which I understand.
I could never be someone I wish I could be. I confessed my heart break to my mum for the first time. I have been trying to be the positive/normal sibling in my family but I failed to do that. I am thankful for my mum for listening to me without judgement.
I love my family and my pets. I have a pension acc and I plan to give it to my to my brother.
As crazy as it sounds I will try to gather the suppliers to end it all...
Thank you for reading.
Note : I hope the younger members to give yourself a chance.
