I been married for 18 years and have one child. My husband doesn't know I'm suicidal but he does know I deal with depression. Today he told me he going to start having affairs wether I like it or not!!! I been thinking about suicide for a while, so this was just icing on the cake. I already wrote my note to my son. Do you think my son will ever forgive me?
HappyEnding
Member
- Mar 23, 2019
- 85
He knows you're depressed and wants to have an affair? Time to divorce this fool.
And of course your son will forgive you! He'll be sad you died but he won't hate you. He loves you!
And of course your son will forgive you! He'll be sad you died but he won't hate you. He loves you!
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Jessica-
Experienced
- Mar 26, 2019
- 263
Yup time to get rid of that bag of spare parts. Im sorry about all of this pain. People are assholes. I know you are hurting like crazy. I read somewhere that our brains register non-physical pain as if we are suffering 3rd degree burns. I don't know if you can hang on or not, but your son will be dealing with the loss of his family as a family unit, as well as his mom's suicide. I am not sure how you feel about your family.. but this exact situation happened to my friend when we were 14. He committed suicide 7 months after his mom died. If he's older and has a good network of people maybe he could handle it better? I get it if you can't hang on, I just think he may need some supports lined up first before the lights go out.
Kyrok
Paragon
- Nov 6, 2018
- 970
A lot depends on your existing relationship with your son, his age, and even how you go.
Why not engineer an accident or even create the illusion you have cancer, spend a few months planning that, stick with it for a while, etc.. Do everything you can to reduce his trauma.
Why not engineer an accident or even create the illusion you have cancer, spend a few months planning that, stick with it for a while, etc.. Do everything you can to reduce his trauma.
FallingOut
New Member
- Mar 29, 2019
- 4
You deserve life. Your husband doesn't.
Davy
Have a great day!
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
Your son might not might not understand at first and have to go through a lot of pain but hopefully one day he will recover, he won't hate you.
Dead beat dad
Enlightened
- Mar 5, 2019
- 1,030
Hi sister, I am so sorry to hear about this situation, I have some experience that might help here;
I was around and had depression when my grandpoppa killed himself (19 I think).
It caused very severe emotional and eventually physical harm to my mom (she started to develop ulcers and mobility issues).
I don't think my mom really forgave him but from where I was I could understand his pain and why he did what he did.
You husband doesn't sound very nice and while I know nothing more of your situation this is awful behaviour.
Your son however is probably completely innocent in all of this.
If you want him to understand and forgive you, then you (and this will be harder than nailing jelly to a wall, but stick with it) need to have a candid talk with your son and try and develop and understanding.
There is no judgement here, I also have a son who I love dearly so I understand at least in part the pain you have.
Good luck sister, I hope find peace.
DBD
I was around and had depression when my grandpoppa killed himself (19 I think).
It caused very severe emotional and eventually physical harm to my mom (she started to develop ulcers and mobility issues).
I don't think my mom really forgave him but from where I was I could understand his pain and why he did what he did.
You husband doesn't sound very nice and while I know nothing more of your situation this is awful behaviour.
Your son however is probably completely innocent in all of this.
If you want him to understand and forgive you, then you (and this will be harder than nailing jelly to a wall, but stick with it) need to have a candid talk with your son and try and develop and understanding.
There is no judgement here, I also have a son who I love dearly so I understand at least in part the pain you have.
Good luck sister, I hope find peace.
DBD
I can't answer that question. It probably will be very hard on your son, that's about as much as anyone who doesn't know the people involved can say.
I do think you should reconsider CTB-ing over what someone-else does: your happiness shouldn't be tied to the immoral and probably illegal behaviour of your husband. You should divorce him and try to find a good man who actually cares about you. If you do decide to CTB your husband wins and will be rewarded for his behaviour: he will inherit from you and be free to do whatever he wants. He will also have total control over your son untill he reaches the age of majority: surely you don't want that to happen?
Anyone who acts the way he did doesn't deserve to be in a relationship and should end up miserable and alone.
I would advise to see a lawyer about this: chances are if your husband does have an affair and you are able to gather evidence of this this will work in your favour in family/divorce court. It would be a great way to get even and make him pay, literally. It would enhance your financial situation no doubt and with it your ability to take care of your son and give him everything he needs. Your son needs you, even though it may not feel this way.
I think you should fight your husband and postpone any plans of CTB untill you've gotten even with this foul individual that you have the misfortune of being married to. It's actually great he told you: now you can plan and use his misbehaviour to your advantage.
Good luck to you.
I do think you should reconsider CTB-ing over what someone-else does: your happiness shouldn't be tied to the immoral and probably illegal behaviour of your husband. You should divorce him and try to find a good man who actually cares about you. If you do decide to CTB your husband wins and will be rewarded for his behaviour: he will inherit from you and be free to do whatever he wants. He will also have total control over your son untill he reaches the age of majority: surely you don't want that to happen?
Anyone who acts the way he did doesn't deserve to be in a relationship and should end up miserable and alone.
I would advise to see a lawyer about this: chances are if your husband does have an affair and you are able to gather evidence of this this will work in your favour in family/divorce court. It would be a great way to get even and make him pay, literally. It would enhance your financial situation no doubt and with it your ability to take care of your son and give him everything he needs. Your son needs you, even though it may not feel this way.
I think you should fight your husband and postpone any plans of CTB untill you've gotten even with this foul individual that you have the misfortune of being married to. It's actually great he told you: now you can plan and use his misbehaviour to your advantage.
Good luck to you.
You're exactly right I should divorce him first get half his money which would be a lot. Put it in a trust fund for my son then ctb!!!! Thank you so much!!!
I know a lot of you think I want to ctb because of my husband but that's not true. I have wanted to ctb on and off on my whole life. I have tried so many times in my early 20s but For the last 15 years the only reason why I haven't is because of my son. My son is such a mama's boy, we do everything together and when I do this he's going to be devastated but I raised a strong independent man.
You're welcome. Of course I did not and will not advise you whether to CTB: that is your decision entirely and exclusively. I am glad to hear you're not going to let him get away with this. My father cheated on my mother and it pretty much destroyed her which in turn hurt me grievously. I'd hate to see that happen to others.
It seemed to me your husband's completely disrespectful and intolerable behaviour was what pushed you over the edge so to speak. Especially since you mentioned writing a note to your son.
How old is he if I may ask? If you like you may PM me.
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I heard a similar situation about an anonymous women who decided to ctb because of her husband affairs. You should consider first a divorce. I know, it will be painful but less painful than your ctb for your son. I pray you to not rush in suicide.
Lara Francis
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,627
Hi.
Is it your husband that is the source of your depressson ?
You can been with him for a considerable time and this must be very upsetting and hurtful.
Please forgive me if i am being nieve and there are other reasons but if its on the basis of hubby,just let him go.i am sure you have a beautiful son who derseves his mum even if u as parents cannot be together,u can still b their for him.
Ignore me if i am talking crap.
I wish u well in ur decision.your situation is relatable to me x
My husband isn't the source of my depression. I been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and suffering from depression all my life.
I'm sure he would eventually, but initially it would be extremely traumatic. How old is he? Sounds like you are with someone you should be trying to leave. Has be been abusive to u?
So excite my sn came today! But I am going to wait I forget i have a vacation with my mom soon and I want to spend time with her!!
No my husband is not physically abusive but I'm starting to think he is mentally abusive
My son is 15, and his is such a moms boy
No my husband is not physically abusive but I'm starting to think he is mentally abusive
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Worndown
Visionary
- Mar 21, 2019
- 2,962
Ok, your husband of 18 years knows you have depression and announced his intent to get a girlfriend? He IS an abusive ass.
Time for a lawyer.
Dead beat dad
Enlightened
- Mar 5, 2019
- 1,030
@Raven40 it sounds like you're in a horrible place. I genuinely hope you can find what you're looking for.
I know I've commented earlier in this thread but learning about your husband has prompted something else;
He sounds like he is being abusive to you (mentally and emotionally), is he, or is there a possibility he could also behave this way towards your son?
If you CTB will your son be able to protect himself if he needs to (physically, emotionally, financially etc)
Good luck sister
DBD
I know I've commented earlier in this thread but learning about your husband has prompted something else;
He sounds like he is being abusive to you (mentally and emotionally), is he, or is there a possibility he could also behave this way towards your son?
If you CTB will your son be able to protect himself if he needs to (physically, emotionally, financially etc)
Good luck sister
DBD
I believe in everyone's right to exit at will, but I draw the line at those with dependents. I'm not sure why people who claim to be suicidal decide to have children, but the horse is already out of the barn in your case.
Omega7
Alien
- Apr 10, 2019
- 37
Sickman75
Swing On The Spiral
- Jan 27, 2019
- 572
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