Venting Making friends after highschool sucks

[MelancholyDolly]

I never realized how much highschool forces you to socialize and now that I'm done with it I feel like I don't know how to interact with people anymore.

Since highschool I only have one friend and her little brother. I don't even have 2 friends I have my best friend and her little brother. Writing it out makes it feel so pathetic. I care about both of them very deeply though and if they were ever to leave me I wouldn't know how to keep myself going. They have friends outside of me they'd be perfectly fine but me? I have no idea how to meet new people anymore.

I don't even think I'm a very good friend. I think I'm funny but that's kind of it. I'm always worried I take the joke too far or make her uncomfortable, or if she secretly hates my guts and is talking shit about me with her other friends. I wouldn't blame her but it hurts to think about.

I've been thinking about making friends by paying for classes in hobbies I'm interested in learning, like knitting or sewing. But I feel kind of pathetic having to go to a place that forces me to socialize instead of being able to just do it myself like a normal person. I think deep down I still wish I was in highschool (even if I hated it).

I mean I go out and stuff pretty often, but it's just for daily things like grocery shopping or getting some steps in. I don't go out and socialize with people in my neighborhood. I don't even talk with cahiers if they try to start small talk. I just clam up around strangers and get super awkward. That's why I'm not sure about taking classes, I might just stay quiet and clam up like always and It'd just end up being a waste of money.

I don't think my best friend realizes how dependent I am on this friendship. I don't think she knows how much I care about her and I don't think she would reciprocate my feelings. I think she cares about me a lot, but I don't think she loves me the way I love her. I don't mean it in a romantic sense, but at the same time I feel really scared whenever she interacts with her other friends so maybe I am into her. I don't know. I think I'm just terrified of losing this friendship cuz it's probably the only thing keeping me alive.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I've been thinking about making friends by paying for classes in hobbies I'm interested in learning, like knitting or sewing. But I feel kind of pathetic having to go to a place that forces me to socialize instead of being able to just do it myself like a normal person.

How you're thinking about making new friends is EXACTLY how a "normal" person would do it. I really relate to your post.

I know I'm very much older than you, but I had all kinds of friends in high school. I was a real partyer. After high school I changed my ways - stopped drinking, stopped smoking marijuana. My friends and I ended up drifting apart. I went to college, but didn't have time to make friends because I worked a full-time job and went to school full-time, too. Even at work over the years, I never made any friends. At one job I worked with a lot of older people. At others I just really had no time because I had other responsibilities that I had to tend to after work. Plus, most of the people at my jobs were drinkers, and since I no longer was, I had no desire to go to the bars with them. You're right, it is way more difficult to make friends after high school. And as you become older, it gets even harder, because most people, so-called "normal" people, already have their friends. It's harder to make friends when you're single, too, because it's "weird" trying to go out by yourself and meet new people without a sidekick. You're still young so you have better odds. Yes, by all means, take classes, maybe join some groups, put yourself out there and see what happens. Doing what I did and not trying is what is abnormal. What you're postulating on doing is completely normal. That should have been what I did when I was younger. At least if you try, even if you fail, you won't have the regret of not trying.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry for your pain. I understand...
I didn't have friends in highschool, so nothing changed. There were mates I talked to but we didn't hang out.
I didn't have money and parents didn't either so that contributed to my no social life.
I was and still am painfully shy. I do have a few friends now, if I text first.
I don't ask co-workers to do anything. I don't want to be any creepier than I am at work.
Probably cuz of zero social skills.