Venting Made my decision. Tonight is the night.

[Ashu]

I've made my decision. I'm going to CTB via SWB tonight. There is a beautiful lake outside my house, and it's a peaceful place to do it. The same lake I grew up on for so many years...

I dig. I grew up in northern Canada in a small town on a lake. I love that lake, it'd be a perfect place to sink into the final sleep.

Thanks for everyone who has gone through the trouble of listening to me and my BS. I don't think many people are going to care anyways.

I'll be online until 2:am EST to talk to anyone who wants to.

A day after, I would appreciate if mods deleted my account.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I backed out... just got back home.
I hyperventilate for 5 minutes, let the air out, and tried to hold my head under a community dock. But I could keep myself there long enough to pass out... I still care about people and I can't leave yet. I want to so bad. God I'm such a failure

A failed attempt causes so much pain. I'm sorry for that. But you are not a failure. The thing, that you still care about people (probably loved ones) shows, that you are not fully ready right now. It's a similar situation here with this point. When the time comes for CTB and you really want it, it will be easy for you. All the best and good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that suicide just isn't straightforward after all, in fact I think it's really so unnecessarily difficult to finally leave this horrible world. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for when the time is right for you to leave.