Lyme stole my life; relationship to BPD

[lanahelp]

I have been staving off constant plans to CTB. I never knew depression before Lyme Disease, but now, I'm locked in it. It was recently suggested that I have BPD, or at least, significant behaviors/traits... Can one develop borderline late in life? Could it have been kept at bay for 50 years? Could something like brain infection, or even a brain injury, cause it?

I have posted before about N. I received one of the last orders from D... I had 2 bottles, but one was discovered and discarded. So, I have just one (think 6ml?). Others here have said one bottle should suffice. I have a birthday upcoming and am making plans to take N. Soon. I'm not sure where to turn for help if I opt to stay. I just don't see how any longer. I live in a constant state of depersonalization and derealization. Is that due to Lyme or BPD? It's far too confounding . I strive to "fix" a broken brain with a broken brain. Seemingly, this is an impossible feat. :(.

 

[Tig]

I strive to fix a broken brain with broken brain.
Seemingly, this is an impossible feat.
It surely is !!!
I was diagnosed bi polar 1 at 45 years old, have had 5 major head traumas since then, things got worse because of them for sure.
Age and trauma, definitely have affect on Mental health issues.

 

[Innereye]

BPD is a manifestation of CPTSD. Like all cluster B personality disorders It develops in childhood. Either you've always had it and have just become more symptomatically aware or due to acute stress, you've developed some symptomatic overlap with the disorder.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best in what you decide.