lowkey feel like having a boyfriend would solve all my problems

[Eventually_An_Angel]

ik thats like naive n dumb n stuff and it shallow as hell to kill urself cuz u dont have a boyfriend but like honestly. prayin the perfect boyll come into my life immediately before i do whatever i end up doin to die n then im so ok and live happily ever after and drop out of college to be a housewife or whatever the fuck id do in that situation idk what id do in that situation ive never been in it b4. n never will. lollllll xD
any way it doesnt matter im never gonna hav that

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I don't think it'd solve all my problems but it might give me a reason to want to solve them. Until, of course, regression to the mean comes into effect and receiving daily love becomes my new normal, so I just end up right back at square one.

 

[divinemistress36]

Romance is usually temporary. After the honeymoon stage people often get bored and move on. So it might only temporarily help

 

[Innereye]

Temporary void filler. Eventually implodes, cluster B life lol.

 

[EternalShore]

relatable to an extent~ :(

 

[biasedregret]

Temporary void filler. Eventually implodes, cluster B life lol.

It's fun while it lasts tho lol

 

[FujoshiNeet]

It doesn't. It just gives you more insecurities and an ever-deeper fear of being alone.

 

[pyx]

it's different for men, but i doubt that it really will solve all your problems. you may end up becoming too dependent on your partner in order to 'cure' you, which is a burden no person should have. and with the insecurity which comes from inexperience, you are bound to run into problems which might end up collapsing the relationship, putting you in a worse-off position. relationships shouldn't be treated as magical panaceas for your problems

 

[Eventually_An_Angel]

it's different for men, but i doubt that it really will solve all your problems. you may end up becoming too dependent on your partner in order to 'cure' you, which is a burden no person should have. and with the insecurity which comes from inexperience, you are bound to run into problems which might end up collapsing the relationship, putting you in a worse-off position. relationships shouldn't be treated as magical panaceas for your problems

imean ur right but it doesnt rlly matter cuz im not gonna be in one. so likeeeee let a girl dream ukno,,,,,

 

[endofline2010]

A good boyfriend would help you become the best version of yourself, not be a personal fucktoy...

 

[Eventually_An_Angel]

A good boyfriend would help you become the best version of yourself, not be a personal fucktoy...

yes???? obviously??? i did not even mention sex. i dont care abt sex. my ideal man would not do that. i would not date a man who wanted 2 do that. idk where u got that idea but it is WRONG!!!

 

[youwantitdarker]

same. I'm a FA and have never been in a relationship, seeing all these happy couples both IRL and online really confirms that being in a relationship is better. Imagine someone loving you - actually loving you. Loving to see you, loving to hear you, loving to touch you. Wanting to be with you, near you. Doing things together. Talking, cuddling, or just existing in each others' company...
There is an ancient greek myth that humans were originally created in pairs, but then got separated. I fully believe that. But then there's people like me - the outliers. I've never had a boyfriend, men don't even look in my direction. And they say femcels don't exist haha, I wish.
Anyway, I understand you completely. A person who truly exists for you will make everything so much better and easier. I was born broken I feel like

 

[Eventually_An_Angel]

same. I'm a FA and have never been in a relationship, seeing all these happy couples both IRL and online really confirms that being in a relationship is better. Imagine someone loving you - actually loving you. Loving to see you, loving to hear you, loving to touch you. Wanting to be with you, near you. Doing things together. Talking, cuddling, or just existing in each others' company...
There is an ancient greek myth that humans were originally created in pairs, but then got separated. I fully believe that. But then there's people like me - the outliers. I've never had a boyfriend, men don't even look in my direction. And they say femcels don't exist haha, I wish.
Anyway, I understand you completely. A person who truly exists for you will make everything so much better and easier. I was born broken I feel like

imsorry if this is rude but what does FA mean....

u r so right tho w how u r talkin thats like.....if i knew how 2 write sentences properly and make them beautiful but still quirky.id basicaly say wat u said,,,,,,

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The "perfect boy" doesn't exist and having a boyfriend won't do shit. Also, living as a housewife is not a life that should be romanticized, especially with all the risks involved in it.

You shouldn't want to get into a relationship specifically to solve your problems. You would just be unfairly putting a lot of pressure on them to deal with all of your emotional baggage and your partner isn't meant to be your therapist or life coach. This is how you get cases of partners who feel emotionally drained all the time and trapped in their relationship out of fear of what might happen if they try to leave. No one should have the burden to cure you of all your issues, especially someone who is just looking for a romantic partner. I think a very basic thing that people need to understand before getting into a relationship is that shit doesn't revolve around you. If you ever get with someone they aren't going to be like Prince Charming or a princess from a children's book. They are going to be another human being with their own baggage they are dealing with. Just as how you wouldn't like it if someone expected you to solve all of their problems via you being in a relationship with them, this also applies the other way around. A partner may provide emotional support but they aren't to be burdened with the expectation of solving all of your issues.

I personally have a bf and I can say without a doubt that being in a relationship doesn't solve all your issues. He provides me with some extra emotional support, but I still have a lot of the same issues that I had before. Of course, I'm in a relationship with him because I genuinely love him, not because I'm hoping for him to solve all of my problems. Especially since he has his own issues to deal with.

 

[youwantitdarker]

imsorry if this is rude but what does FA mean....

u r so right tho w how u r talkin thats like.....if i knew how 2 write sentences properly and make them beautiful but still quirky.id basicaly say wat u said,,,,,,

forever alone

 

[AwakeTooLong]

ik thats like naive n dumb n stuff and it shallow as hell to kill urself cuz u dont have a boyfriend but like honestly. prayin the perfect boyll come into my life immediately before i do whatever i end up doin to die n then im so ok and live happily ever after and drop out of college to be a housewife or whatever the fuck id do in that situation idk what id do in that situation ive never been in it b4. n never will. lollllll xD
any way it doesnt matter im never gonna hav that

What's keeping you from getting a boyfriend?

 

[rotciv]

I felt in love twice in my life and tryin to never fall again but I probably chose badly

 

[ineed2die]

Partners do make everything better and easier. Once they leave you're worse off than before though.

 

[Ineedthis18743]

Romance doesn't solve any deeper mental issues or addictions. I have and have had for years the most perfect,loving loyal, kind, thoughtful, geuninly perfect person but eventually those deeper issues catch up and it ends up getting fucked up and everything is even worse and you realise what you have and it turns out to be too late and can't get it back or your demons end up winning anyway

 

[etherealspring]

i honestly did think that getting into a relationship would make me happier and i just assumed that was the missing piece in my life. but now i have a boyfriend, and can confirm that my feelings before r still the same. if anything, it's even worse now bc of the guilt that comes with trying to use a relationship to get better. after all that, i still want to ctb.

that's just me, though. perhaps a relationship may give u a reason to want to recover and provide u with the motivation needed to achieve that. unlike with me, it might work out for u, but u can't rely solely on a boyfriend for ur life to improve.

 

[feeling_the_pull]

ik thats like naive n dumb n stuff and it shallow as hell to kill urself cuz u dont have a boyfriend but like honestly. prayin the perfect boyll come into my life immediately before i do whatever i end up doin to die n then im so ok and live happily ever after and drop out of college to be a housewife or whatever the fuck id do in that situation idk what id do in that situation ive never been in it b4. n never will. lollllll xD
any way it doesnt matter im never gonna hav that

This isn't dumb at all. Having someone consistently there and loving you can help a lot, while it lasts. I've been in a nine month relationship before and it was the closest I had ever been to being comfortable with myself and at peace. I don't have any advice, the relationship happened out of nowhere and I wasn't even really looking for friends let alone a boyfriend. My mental health eventually ended things. So basically it's a nice distraction but it doesn't fix anything.

 

[Valhala]

Romance is usually temporary. After the honeymoon stage people often get bored and move on. So it might only temporarily help

Romance is temporary, but if it evolves into a shared life between two compatible partners who understand each other, it can give a semblance of meaning sufficient to continue together. to continue on, to experientially give something to someone and get something from someone, and sometimes even that is enough. If, however, you meet the right partner and everything falls apart for some reason, everything becomes meaningless.

 

[endofline2010]

yes???? obviously??? i did not even mention sex. i dont care abt sex. my ideal man would not do that. i would not date a man who wanted 2 do that. idk where u got that idea but it is WRONG!!!

The idea came from you saying you want someone to bankroll you while you drop out of college and don't work. What exactly do you think that entails on your end in the real world?

 

[divinemistress36]

Romance is temporary, but if it evolves into a shared life between two compatible partners who understand each other, it can give a semblance of meaning sufficient to continue together. to continue on, to experientially give something to someone and get something from someone, and sometimes even that is enough. If, however, you meet the right partner and everything falls apart for some reason, everything becomes meaningless.

Have you experienced that?

 

[Valhala]

I am, unfortunately or fortunately - I don't know what to say myself. One thing I can confidently say (after my experience of 3 marriages of 10 years and several more serious relationships) is what I experienced with her, the only woman beside whom I really understood what it means loving someone and being loved is something more valuable than anything, than life, than death, than anything. That experience changes you by 180 degrees and you become who you really are. Most people never experience this in their life, and after such an experience if if that relationship cannot be restored, nothing is worth living for anymore. If I die because of love and my own mistakes that caused me to lose it, I know that without it my life no longer has any meaning, I really have nothing to regret

Have you experienced that?

Thank you for understanding what I'm talking about, I'm in tears now..

 

[Ashu]

Not the way to think of it, it won't solve all your problems, and it probably won't be easy, but it would be a good thing for you, maybe wonderful, maybe transformative, it's the stuff of life, and I wish it for you.

 

[derpyderpins]

Well, it won't immediately solve your problems, but it is okay to desire romance and closeness. It's the ideal way to live, imo.

Lots of "it won't/doesn't last" in this thread. It lasts plenty of times. Love is amazing. It just doesn't happen overnight, but it can last. My wife and I are coming up on year 5 since we met and I feel closer to her every day. Trending up, not down. Doesn't fix all my problems! I still have issues, but it's a very positive factor that helps keep the scales more even.

 

[Echofox7]

I feel like if i met the right person maybe my life would have gone better and something to look forward to be it's impossible to meet anyone these days and even when i do the rejections just really hurts, i have tried and im slowly coming into terms with that i will never be good enough or just always been unluckly. Looks wise im not a bad looking guy, im in great shape with muscles. I do i have insecurities and gonna over think alot especially in the talking stage.

 

[coolgal82]

same lol. i need someone so bad it'd solve like alot of my issues or help them atleast but im too scared to look so i will just simply wish for it until it magically happens!

and like i know it would because i have my besties and like theyre amazing and awesome and like having them helps alot but if i had someone even closer than them it'd be so much better idk.

 

[Biblom2000]

I'm sorry but that sounds like an incel or femcel thought in this case, I would lie to you if I told you that I never thought of a fantasy like that but if you stop to think about the love that you don't give yourself, no one can give it to you and that is why In the long run, a relationship like that would not work and you would end up disappointed, even so I hope that people like you find what they are looking for.