meatballlover
Member
- Feb 23, 2026
- 86
One reason i havent killed myself yet is because there is a voice telling me what i'm doing is not rational and I should try recovery first and foremost. Then again I really see a lot of counter arguments. Who do i do for fun? What do i want to achieve in life? What is really the point of the recovery beyond doing it for others? It's almost like i repeatedly eat food i no longer enjoy in hopes I one day like it. Like trying to finish a book I dont like from the start in hopes it will get more interesting later. I dont know, I mostly work on logic in life situations but I dont see much in this. Yes, i can try recovery for others, but I really was hoping it'd be something i want too. Lately i have bad tolerance for unpleasant things - somebody being unfair or disrespectful, things not going my way etc, having to do my duties etc. Those little things are always massive setbacks for me and always makes me question if tolerating it all is worth it.
Do what you want with this post this is mostly for myself
Do what you want with this post this is mostly for myself
