Love Of My Life Ignoring Me

[A Desperate Fool]

I haven't heard from my wife for a month. Last time we talked, she said she needed time to think. I've tried reaching out but she doesn't respond. I'm starting to think I'll never hear from her again and it's killing me. When I try to work, I hear wedding songs on the radio and I just don't know if I can deal with it anymore. I am still in her profile picture on Facebook. Do you think that means anything? I love her and I just want her to talk to me.

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate but unfortunately, you can't force anybody to love you back.
Just keep giving her time and space. She might surprise you and if she doesn't, remember that there's plenty of fish in the sea. (I know, you only want HER but still, this is real. It's happened to me before.)

 

[JustHeckinKillMe]

Why does this sound familiar heh? Story of my life. I gave up hope. I don't deserce love. I'm just trash

 

[NodusTollens]

I'm sorry you're in so much pain, I can't imagine this past month has been easy on you. It could be a good sign that your wife hasn't changed the picture, though if she needed time to think, it may not be something at the forefront of her mind. I wish I could say more, though you might just have to wait it out- despite how much it hurts. I'm really sorry.

I hope things turn around & that she reaches out to speak with you, from the bottom of my heart. Best of luck.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I can relate and it's the most painful experience, so I feel your pain. I don't know why you're still in her profile picture, I don't know if it really means anything. I wish she would reach out to you. It's so hard because the love of my life just blanks me basically, not knowing how damaging that is. Being ignored by someone you love with all your heart is literal mental torture.

I'm so sorry. I'm here to talk any time, or even just to listen. Vent away to your hearts content. Sometimes all we need is someone to truly listen.

 

[A Desperate Fool]

Being ignored by someone you love with all your heart is literal mental torture.

It's cruel and unusual punishment. I lost a parent recently, but that pain was nothing compared to this.

Just keep giving her time and space. She might surprise you

That's the only thing keeping me going at this point. I can't go on alone. I can't do it again. I can't love someone new. Just let me out. I just want the music to stop.

I hope things turn around & that she reaches out to speak with you, from the bottom of my heart. Best of luck.

Thank you. I hope so too. Even if we're getting divorced, don't you think she'll need to reach out at some point to talk about it? I have her car. (She's driving a different car right now, but I imagine at some point she'll want it back. She's making payments on it.)

 

[Stolen Absolution]

Hello. I don't know the context of your guys' situation, so it's hard to say. Has she asked for a divorce?

I know it's painful. I've gone through something similar before. It's not easy. Maybe you could reach out and try to have a transparent conversation with her about what's going on, or maybe what you can expect? If she doesn't have answers, she may just need more time to think. I've been on the waiting end of this (8 months) just like you, and even though we did get back together, I think it's something I ended up resenting him for. Feeling like you're being dangled there with no communication or expectations is excruciating, no doubt.

I wish you luck. Anything is possible. Keep your chin up and your outlook positive. This too shall pass. I hope you are able to get some answers soon.

 

[NodusTollens]

Thank you. I hope so too. Even if we're getting divorced, don't you think she'll need to reach out at some point to talk about it? I have her car. (She's driving a different car right now, but I imagine at some point she'll want it back. She's making payments on it.)

It would be nice to think so, though she might just need more time. I hope you can take your mind off things until she contacts you.

 

[A Desperate Fool]

I don't know the context of your guys' situation, so it's hard to say. Has she asked for a divorce?

She has not asked for a divorce. We were visiting family and she wanted me to leave. She said things. (Things that I've heard before during fights.) She never said we were breaking up. She never said "divorce." She never asked me to move out of our apartment. She did say "I need time to think." And she wanted me to leave and visit my family. She sent me off in her car.

I got a tiny bit mad and said "you're making a mistake. Love you." She seemed a bit taken aback by that. I'm not a tough guy by any means. But did she maybe think I was threatening her? I didn't mean it like that at all. Us separating felt like a mistake to me. That's all I meant. I also posted on Facebook that I thought I had just lost a soulmate. I guess "lost" could imply that someone died. Could that have been interpreted as a threat?

 

[Stolen Absolution]

I don't think the things you've said would be interpreted as a threat.

I'm sorry you've been waiting so long to hear back from her. It's unfortunate she's not responding to you at all. Hopefully you hear from her soon.

 

[Deathbydemo]

Do you text her with no response?

 

[A Desperate Fool]

Do you text her with no response?

Yeah. No response.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I sort of know how this feels. If she's not responding even when you're reaching out then it might be time to start considering the worst although like others said maybe she just needs even more time.

Do you have any kids? Are they with her? If not is she living by herself? Whatever her problem with you was, does she have ways of getting what she's missing from other people? Also changing Facebook profiles don't really mean anything because not everyone would do something like that as their first move in announcing a breakup or divorce. Depending on how active she is it might not even be a factor to her at all...

Good luck whatever happens, man. I can only barely imagine how agonizing this must be, to know who the love of your life is then to be stripped from the means to see or talk to them...

 

[A Desperate Fool]

Do you have any kids?

No, we don't.

If not is she living by herself?

She's at her mom's, I think.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

She's at her mom's, I think.

Do you have a good relationship with her mom? Maybe you can ask her what's up if that's allowed?

 

[Deathbydemo]

Yeah. No response.

I'm so sorry. How awful. It is literally heartbreaking.

 

[A Desperate Fool]

Do you have a good relationship with her mom?

Not exactly. She thinks I screw things up for her daughter. I thought things were getting better between her mom and I but then COVID happened and I think I probably take the blame for her not seeing her daughter as much in the last year.

Maybe you can ask her what's up if that's allowed?

I am considering that. I keep thinking I'd rather wait to hear from my wife. However long that takes. If she really needs time to think, she might not appreciate me going around her and talking to her family.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Not exactly. She thinks I screw things up for her daughter. I thought things were getting better between her mom and I but then COVID happened and I think I probably take the blame for her not seeing her daughter as much in the last year.


I am considering that. I keep thinking I'd rather wait to hear from my wife. However long that takes. If she really needs time to think, she might not appreciate me going around her and talking to her family.

Hmm. Maybe the mom is contributing then to any possible negativity your wife may have for you so it might not be a perfect idea to go to her after all.

 

[HitchHiker]

If she has asked for space then you have to give it to her. Every time you contact her you are not respecting what she has asked you to do and it will annoy her more. I know it's hard, I've been there. But you have to give her the space if there is any hope for you to sort this out. I really hope she reaches out to you.

 

[A Desperate Fool]

Maybe the mom is contributing then to any possible negativity your wife may have for you so it might not be a perfect idea to go to her after all.

I think that's probably true. I'm hoping that as my wife gets more alone time she might realize that losing me forever isn't what she really wants.

My wife is also very busy with school/career things right now. Like, this past month has got to be the most stressed she's ever been in her life, so she may not have had much time to actually think lately.

If she has asked for space then you have to give it to her. Every time you contact her you are not respecting what she has asked you to do and it will annoy her more.

That makes sense. I don't feel like I've been excessive in my attempts to reach her. 2 calls and maybe 12 texts. I've had some weak moments but I've been pretty careful because I'd hate for her to become annoyed and block me. I'll stop though. I totally want to respect her space. Thank you.