LonelyPrince
Rotten to the Core
- Dec 12, 2025
- 40
Everyday is a struggle emotionally. I go from feeling motivated to suicidal in hours.
Mother put me aside and asked me what I was planning on doing: if I was planning on rotting away in my room for the rest of my days.
I didn't want to speak to her: I've had enough of the abuse i had to put up with for years, of the disrespect and the fucking gaslighting.
She asked me in a condescending tone what did she even do.
A lot of things, but if I mention even one she is just gonna deny, so what's the point?
"Children choose their parents before they are born"
"Evil spirits have taken hold of you"
"I don't like you but I love you"
"You'll never be a man, you know that?"
"You need Jesus in your life"
These are some of the things she has told me in my life that I remember at the moment, just to paint a picture of the kind of disgusting woman she is.
She loves me conditionally, based on how useful I can be to her and how obedient I am. I've given up on trying to win her love.
She doesn't love ME, she loves the image of me she made in her mind.
She loves what I could have been for her.
You cannot mold your child into what you want, because they are their own person, yet it is still not common knowledge I suppose.
I called a job agency and I need to head there tommorrow so hopefully I can find a job quickly and be able to get out of here. Bu even if I do find one, will I even be able to keep up?? I'm physically fragile and mentally fucked.
I don't even know how to drive and I'm scared to.
All i want is to pick up the razor blades I've ordered and cut myself with those, the box cutters aren't enough anymore.
Mother put me aside and asked me what I was planning on doing: if I was planning on rotting away in my room for the rest of my days.
I didn't want to speak to her: I've had enough of the abuse i had to put up with for years, of the disrespect and the fucking gaslighting.
She asked me in a condescending tone what did she even do.
A lot of things, but if I mention even one she is just gonna deny, so what's the point?
"Children choose their parents before they are born"
"Evil spirits have taken hold of you"
"I don't like you but I love you"
"You'll never be a man, you know that?"
"You need Jesus in your life"
These are some of the things she has told me in my life that I remember at the moment, just to paint a picture of the kind of disgusting woman she is.
She loves me conditionally, based on how useful I can be to her and how obedient I am. I've given up on trying to win her love.
She doesn't love ME, she loves the image of me she made in her mind.
She loves what I could have been for her.
You cannot mold your child into what you want, because they are their own person, yet it is still not common knowledge I suppose.
I called a job agency and I need to head there tommorrow so hopefully I can find a job quickly and be able to get out of here. Bu even if I do find one, will I even be able to keep up?? I'm physically fragile and mentally fucked.
I don't even know how to drive and I'm scared to.
All i want is to pick up the razor blades I've ordered and cut myself with those, the box cutters aren't enough anymore.
