Venting lost another friend, felt indifferent, but now i'm just scared.

[synthcadia]

the power of dissociation.
i lost another friend. and i didn't completely understand it all, but whatever. i'm too tired and got better shit to deal with than this.
tdlr: person found out i was just venting to my friend about him. couldn't be mature about it. yeah. and they said i was going behind his back and like pretty much talking shit about him when i wasn't. and he said i can't play victim. and i mean i apologized to him about the things i did. i vented about the things i didn't think i was in the wrong.
i'm still in a state of shock but idc. i just don't care anymore. i feel pretty numb.
kinda want to cry a bit but yeah.
i didn't need him in my life.
i am scared, though, how he found out i told my friend.
it's like… why even get close to people. why.
idfk.
and he said that if i talked shit again he'd confront me.
whatever.
gonna keep my mouth shut and just vent in here.
if i wasn't so dissociated i'd fucking flip.
at least he had the decency to not use me.

anyway. now i'm just scared he'll see my messages somehow to people who he doesn't know at all. idk how he found out but whatever. glad i deleted that message from him though. i don't need a reminder. but i'm scared. scared i'll come back from studying abroad and he'll confront me or just harass me. like i'm sorry dude but leave me alone please. i'm afraid he'll see messages from this site.

to you, ex-friend, if you see this, i'm just venting my frustrations. i'm not talking shit behind your back. and idk who jordan is. i could say worse but that'd be in the heat of the moment.

thank you for not using me. /srs

just leave me alone please and don't confront me. i apologized and i just want us to be civil to one another. i'm just trying to vent. not trying to talk shit. it just hurts and this summer has been shit.

i'm sorry and just please don't confront me and just let me live out my life. i don't want to bother you, never did. never wanted to hurt you either.

i hope you have a good life. /g

 

[gulp]

dam, what a mf

 

[synthcadia]

dam, what a mf

i mean i was in the wrong before with some things, and i tried to fix it.

i think something just got lost in communication.

 

[gulp]

i mean i was in the wrong before with some things, and i tried to fix it.

i think something just got lost in communication.

maybe he just got confused (which is kind of dumb but whatevs)
u could try talking to him personally and make him understand that u didn't mean nun against him, if u care for him enough to even try to get him back. i don't blame u if u don't tho, sth similar happened to me and i just let them go cuz i didn't rlly like them all that much

 

[synthcadia]

maybe he just got confused (which is kind of dumb but whatevs)
u could try talking to him personally and make him understand that u didn't mean nun against him, if u care for him enough to even try to get him back. i don't blame u if u don't tho, sth similar happened to me and i just let them go cuz i didn't rlly like them all that much

well… he blocked me on almost everything and i blocked him on texting if he hadn't done so already. if i wasn't as down and i thought we could fix things, maybe. but i thought it would make things worse.

 

[gulp]

well… he blocked me on almost everything and i blocked him on texting if he hadn't done so already. if i wasn't as down and i thought we could fix things, maybe. but i thought it would make things worse.

welp, you still can un-block him on text (if he hasn't blocked u back) but y'know, you know him better than I and are the one in the situation, so do what u see fit and better.
yet remember, you don't need every friend to live (your life, i don't mean for u to kill him lmao)

 

[synthcadia]

welp, you still can un-block him on text (if he hasn't blocked u back) but y'know, you know him better than I and are the one in the situation, so do what u see fit and better.
yet remember, you don't need every friend to live (your life, i don't mean for u to kill him lmao)

yeah. well, my bff and the other person mentioned in this text reached out. but i am just trying to be distant from him.

 

[gulp]

yeah. well, my bff and the other person mentioned in this text reached out. but i am just trying to be distant from him.

sounds fit

 

[FeyB]

hope you can find some common ground <3