Venting Losing people from marginalized communities

[ellisdisappeared]

I often reminisce about a friend I lost who was targeted because of their identity. They were transgender and targeted at school and would then face blackmail when out of school. I remember speaking with administration and the cops. I had shown them all the evidence of the blackmail. They didn't take their case seriously.

I never really found out who was targeting them. There was so much shit going on in their life. They'd eventually start drinking and doing drugs. We were still teenagers, and I thought I'd have been really annoying if I told them to stop.

I remember on new years they had texted me and asked me to be their girlfriend. I replied with a yes, then they blocked me. At the moment I was pretty mad, but then figured out that was what they wanted. They wanted to make me upset along with the other people in their life so they wouldn't hurt them when they had killed themself.

I have nobody in my life today, they were the only person I could connect with and now they're gone.

I feel so guilty everyday for not having done more, for not having spoken up, it's all too late now. And I hate the way this is written I rlly cant express my emotions