I am not scared of death. Instead for me life is the scary thing as there is unlimited potential for suffering, there is no limit as to how bad things can get. I believe there is nothing after this, just like before we were born. There is true peace. It is a comforting thought. We were all perfectly fine not existing until we were forced to live. Just being alive is what motivates me to want to die, of course there is no way to force these feelings, it is just the way I feel. No matter what happens, I wish you the best.