Discussion Long note / goodbye letter

[Shikamaru]

Is anyone else suicide note / letter goodbye to loved ones, really long?
Im drafting mine, I initially intended it to give some insight into why and how I feel for my family to have some understanding behind my death, keeping it concise, and a short goodbye and personal message to each of my loved ones.

However now I am finding that to say all I'd like, it's becoming very long.
Is anyone else the same? I really am terrible at expressing my feelings and opening up but my heart is just pouring out onto the paper.
Would you leave a long note/letter?
I am afraid it will come across as "dramatic", and "self absorbed".
Idk I'm over thinking …

 

[jodes2]

I'm terrible at expressing myself. But I don't think that much needs to be said, I already talk to everyone about everything so the only thing left to say would be "sorry it finally happened" but even that's a given, so I don't see the point in writing a note

 

[MyLifeisHell]

No. 2 or 3 paragraphs maximum.

 

[Someone123]

Is anyone else suicide note / letter goodbye to loved ones, really long?
Im drafting mine, I initially intended it to give some insight into why and how I feel for my family to have some understanding behind my death, keeping it concise, and a short goodbye and personal message to each of my loved ones.

However now I am finding that to say all I'd like, it's becoming very long.
Is anyone else the same? I really am terrible at expressing my feelings and opening up but my heart is just pouring out onto the paper.
Would you leave a long note/letter?
I am afraid it will come across as "dramatic", and "self absorbed".
Idk I'm over thinking …

I personally think that writing a long note is not a bad idea if this is what you want to do- it may leave behind insights about how others could have helped more/ hurt you less, and this could be used to help others who are struggling at some point. I don't think there should be any limit to the length of a note personally.

 

[ph0enix]

theres no right or wrong regarding length, detail, writing style or anything else.

the only thing that's important is that it's written with deep respect and appreciation towards the readers, even if they (unwillingly) inflicted pain on you

if the readers really hurt you with bad intentions on purpose, well then that's certainly another thing

 

[Shikamaru]

theres no right or wrong regarding length, detail, writing style or anything else.

the only thing that's important is that it's written with deep respect and appreciation towards the readers, even if they (unwillingly) inflicted pain on you

if the readers really hurt you with bad intentions on purpose, well then that's certainly another thing

Absolutely, luckily I'm able to say with a full and appreciative heart, that to my loved ones I leave behind, none of my reasons are due to them and I am so lucky to have a family that has never given up on me and picked me back up time and time again, still loving me and supporting me when I don't deserve it.

I want it to be clear how much I appreciate them and that
"If love alone could of saved me then I'd still be alive "
Saying goodbye on paper is tearing my heart into two, however must be done :/

 

[outrider567]

Is anyone else suicide note / letter goodbye to loved ones, really long?
Im drafting mine, I initially intended it to give some insight into why and how I feel for my family to have some understanding behind my death, keeping it concise, and a short goodbye and personal message to each of my loved ones.

However now I am finding that to say all I'd like, it's becoming very long.
Is anyone else the same? I really am terrible at expressing my feelings and opening up but my heart is just pouring out onto the paper.
Would you leave a long note/letter?
I am afraid it will come across as "dramatic", and "self absorbed".
Idk I'm over thinking …

No, practically no one else will be concerned/affected, note is mostly just why I CTB'ed and financial info

 

[FallFadesIntoWinter]

I'm a writer by nature and, well, my letters will be more than a few paragraphs and less than a short story.

I don't think there's a wrong or right for how little or much you end up writing. If you feel like it takes 25 pages to get out what you want to say, do it! No one can tell you it's wrong and, let's be honest and frank about it, you only get one shot at doing it if you do CTB.

Write it all out and left nothing left behind, it's therapy for you whether you like it or not.

 

[lessthanperfect]

I'm planning on writing three notes to the same person and then one more less personal one to everyone.

A first one to say "I love you and it isn't your fault" to my sister but also "this isn't just selfishness; I've tried so hard for so long to keep going." I'll explain the details of why I chose to CBT in this one.

A second one to my sister to come out as transmasc, biromantic, and asexual and to try and open her mind up a little more about LGBTQ+ people because we've been raised religiously and I hope she'll take my words seriously because of how close we've been our whole life. I haven't been able to come out in life because I'm a coward and don't want to be seen differently, but I need her to understand for the sake of other gay/trans people and possibly her future kids if they turn out gay/trans because she's literally promised to homeschool her kids (to shelter them to keep them from hearing gay/trans people exist and "turning" gay/trans). I don't think she's bigoted because she's a bad person; I think she's bigoted because she's been indoctrinated religiously just like I used to be. This one is a little bit about me but mostly about other LGBTQ+ people because I want her to treat other gay/trans people better than she does currently and understand that we're human and deserve love and respect like everyone else.

A third one to my sister to explain my deconversion from Christianity. Our church is super evangelical and we've been indoctrinated our entire lives to believe everything in our lives should revolve around this hateful God and that we only suffer 1) as a test of faith, 2) because we're evil and deserve it, or 3) because we didn't have enough faith or trust God enough, which basically means we should be grateful for suffering and if we aren't, we deserve it. I want my sister to understand how this has contributed to my decision to CTB and how much I've tried and prayed for so long to just feel better. I don't want her to be angry or have unanswered questions but since I won't be around to answer the questions she has, I have to explain in detail if I want her to have a bit of closure and understanding of why I did what I did.

One last short letter to my entire family basically just to say "not your fault, love you, bye" because the rest of them don't deserve any more than that. It'll be no more than 10-15 sentences and most of them will say "tell X and Y I love them." The rest of my family will just see me as a victim of the "anti-God LGBTQ+ agenda" and not listen to a word I have to say, so what's the point of writing a detailed note to them?

All of the first three will be long. As a friend or family member left behind, I would much prefer a longer note than a shorter one. Not all people care that much because they're not that great of people, but hopefully my sister cares about me as much as I care about her and your letter recipients do too.

If they won't read your note just because it's long then they weren't the person you thought they were and didn't deserve the effort anyway. Long is never bad if you have a lot to say and need to write it down.

 

[she]

Is anyone else suicide note / letter goodbye to loved ones, really long?

I find this very relatable. In beginning to write a note to my friends and family for when I'm gone, I found that I just couldn't stop writing. I spent days, weeks, and months, putting the pen to paper and pouring all of my experiences and worst traumas out onto the pages. I feel as though I still have so many things left to say, and so many experiences to share, that I can't go quite yet until I've written about them all. Don't worry, I understand what you mean.

 

[C:\]

I've tried to write a suicide note so many times whether that just be in the notes app on my phone or physically on paper but every time I attempt it just turns into a cluster fuck of thoughts and experiences. I want to do more of a formatted letter to certain people and just a general letter for everyone with chapters and shit like that but that just seems too extra. I guess i'll decide if I ever commit to catching the bus