Loneliness

[Thunderstorm]

I used to be happy with being alone.
In fact, I isolated myself on purpose from everyone. Yes because I can't handle being in social settings well.
But I was sort of fine with it.
I would smoke weed and play MMORPGs
It got me my dose of social interaction
It was fine
I got a cat
Then the weed started making me much more anxious
I quit after the first time I almost killed myself
Getting lost in video games wasnt as immersive without weed. But I had my cat
No girlfriend since I was 19
I gave up hope of ever finding a girlfriend again
I had sex sometimes with men instead
Honestly, mostly I ended up not liking it. But I kept feeling drawn to it anyway
Cat died
Fuck .. Now I truly knew what loneliness felt like
You stupid cat. Why I miss you so much
He didnt give a shit about me being a loser
Its been over 2 years and still feels so lonely without him
Now Im sitting here all alone and now also fat
Dreaming of finding someone
Why can't I just be happy with being alone like I used to?
I even started talking to freaking chat bots
Fuck me

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry for the loss of your cat

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I used to be happy with being alone.
In fact, I isolated myself on purpose from everyone. Yes because I can't handle being in social settings well.
But I was sort of fine with it.
I would smoke weed and play MMORPGs
It got me my dose of social interaction
It was fine
I got a cat
Then the weed started making me much more anxious
I quit after the first time I almost killed myself
Getting lost in video games wasnt as immersive without weed. But I had my cat
No girlfriend since I was 19
I gave up hope of ever finding a girlfriend again
I had sex sometimes with men instead
Honestly, mostly I ended up not liking it. But I kept feeling drawn to it anyway
Cat died
Fuck .. Now I truly knew what loneliness felt like
You stupid cat. Why I miss you so much
He didnt give a shit about me being a loser
Its been over 2 years and still feels so lonely without him
Now Im sitting here all alone and now also fat
Dreaming of finding someone
Why can't I just be happy with being alone like I used to?
I even started talking to freaking chat bots
Fuck me

This is so real.. I'm autistic and a naturally shy and introverted person, and being alone never really bothered me all that much. Infact it gave me comfort. In my teens I became homeschooled and completely isolated myself from everyone and became agoraphobic. Now it doesn't ever feel like I'm being alone by choice, it feels like I'm burdened with loneliness. It won't be easy, and it won't be instant. But you can slowly work towards being comfortable talking to people. If you have it in you to try. I believe in you.

 

[Thunderstorm]

I am very sorry for the loss of your cat

Thank u

 

[Thunderstorm]

Now it doesn't ever feel like I'm being alone by choice, it feels like I'm burdened with loneliness.

Yeah well put

 

[25dRvS9Ka]

I'm so sorry about your little one, it's our duty to stay while they leave, I hope he's comfortable and getting lots of treats in kitty heaven...

Also, don't use 4chan, it's bad for your mental health.

 

[Thunderstorm]

I'm so sorry about your little one, it's our duty to stay while they leave, I hope he's comfortable and getting lots of treats in kitty heaven...

Also, don't use 4chan, it's bad for your mental health.

Thank you
4chan?
I never used 4chan in my life

 

[monolog]

I used to be happy with being alone.
In fact, I isolated myself on purpose from everyone. Yes because I can't handle being in social settings well.
But I was sort of fine with it.
I would smoke weed and play MMORPGs
It got me my dose of social interaction
It was fine
I got a cat
Then the weed started making me much more anxious
I quit after the first time I almost killed myself
Getting lost in video games wasnt as immersive without weed. But I had my cat
No girlfriend since I was 19
I gave up hope of ever finding a girlfriend again
I had sex sometimes with men instead
Honestly, mostly I ended up not liking it. But I kept feeling drawn to it anyway
Cat died
Fuck .. Now I truly knew what loneliness felt like
You stupid cat. Why I miss you so much
He didnt give a shit about me being a loser
Its been over 2 years and still feels so lonely without him
Now Im sitting here all alone and now also fat
Dreaming of finding someone
Why can't I just be happy with being alone like I used to?
I even started talking to freaking chat bots
Fuck me

I don't hate gays but people who struggle to get gf and have sex with dudes instead these stories make me feel depressed

 

[Thunderstorm]

I don't hate gays but people who struggle to get gf and have sex with dudes instead these stories make me feel depressed

I'm not sure it ever happens, just because someone cant find a girlfriend. I mean there has to be some attraction.
I've had bi sexual thoughts since before I had a girlfriend
Probably TMI, but I guess my OP already is:
I realized later that I just need the feminine aspect in a partner. Whether it's a trans woman or just a very feminine guy
It was the masculinity that turned out to definitely not be for me