Living with family makes the suffering greater

[missingpeace]

Day and night I'm suffering, I can't feel, I'm barely there mentally, Im not even in my body, I have demonic energy circulating in my body like a cancer, I am aggravated and frustrated all the time, I barely get any bowel movements, these entities are doing their worst with me and I'm barely hanging on till for me time to ctb.
.. And then you have family, my mom is expecting me to go to a lunch invite which is more than an hour away, where I can't even come home quickly if I want to.. I can barely keep myself alive and I'm being expected to keep up with this charade all for social expectations.. why don't these people understand mental illness.. all I want is some kindness and understanding in my last days.. but God is so fucking cruel he can't even give me that.. Life is so fucking horrific.... Everything is so fucked up, I didn't know God was such a twisted fucker... I can't wait to get the fuck out of here.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's true that life really is something so horrific and it really sounds like you've suffered so unbearably. It's just so incredibly unfair how existing beings end up so tortured, and of course other people don't really care and won't even try to understand. They are just concerned with their own lives. The unfortunate reality of this existence is that as humans we are all alone.

 

[SilentSadness]

Life is definitely constant agony for some, how people can love the idea of God is beyond me when he tortures so many people. Family tends to lack any kind of empathy or understanding as their idea of love is often sick and twisted. The pain you're going through sounds completely unbearable, it's completely understandable you would want to end it and the fact that people can suffer that much is unacceptable. I hope that you can find peace from your troubled mind and circumstances.