Living makes me physically uncomfortable

[nlpgirl99]

The thought of my own existence makes me sick to my stomach. When I think about having arms, legs, and a brain to feed I get this uncomfortable feeling of overwhelm. My heart beats faster and I panic, wishing for it all to end. I attempted at 10 years old…but am too scared to try again until I can get ahold of actual SN.

 

[Anonymus]

It happens to me sometimes, but years ago I managed to focus my attention on other things and get my mind used to ignore it....
But this comes at a price, to have the most routine life possible, because any change alters the perception of everything in a very important way. It seems to me that it is due to hypersensitivity together with obsessive thinking.

What happens is that we are all different, we live differently and you cannot extrapolate solutions from one to another. I am sorry for what is happening to you.

//

Em succeeix de vegades, però fa anys vaig aconseguir focalitzar l'atenció en d'altres coses i acostumar la meva ment a no fer-hi pas cas...
Però te un preu això, tenir la vida més rutinària possible, doncs qualsevol canvi altera la percepció de tot de forma molt important. Em sembla que es deu a la hipersensibilitat junt amb el pensament obssessiu.

El que passa es que tots sóm diferents, vivim de manera diferent i no es poden extrapolar les sol·lucions d'uns cap als altres. Em sap greu el que vius.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, in fact the existence of life disturbs me, life is something that never needed to exist yet very sadly does. The flesh prison that is the human body certainly is disgusting and I consider it like being trapped inside a prison where we have limited control, we are slaves to our needs and desires.
I just think the fact that the flesh prison is just destined to decay from age with unlimited potential for it to torture us, is something so incredibly horrific to me, the only relief could ever lie in permanent nonexistence where this futile and insignificant cycle of suffering won't even exist as a distant memory.

 

[nlpgirl99]

Exactly!! It feels wholly unnatural to me, and it never matters if I'm doing 'well' or not, I always crave non existence. All we do is distract ourselves until we rot, why can't there be a peaceful, dignified way for those of us who simply don't wish to play this hellish game? It's terrifying, and the act of making decisions riddles me practically useless. I'm so scared of everything that I do nothing.