Just imagine all the worst toxicity of social media but amplified and made real regardless of whether someone is red or blue, left or right.
i find that that stuff has made everybody where i am cold and not very friendly, at least i found that for me it has. where i live now is a government town so it's had a reputation (of being quiet) anyway..
i just passed a stranger on the street, and like ignored them. i shut people down a lot. and i guess covid helps justify it now. i moved here partly because i didnt speak french. was a tad extroverted, and now ive been here a while, still dont speak french because i dont necessarily have to, and i cant manage to even get past hello to people. this woman, she gave me the sidewalk, and all i did was rush to my apartment (we saw each other down the road and she gave me the sidewalk were i had merely just sped up to reach me apartment so we didnt intersect). so essentially we were both being nice. but here's the thing. in these moments where i feel stared at, it feels like its my responsibility always to say hi or something, to the point now where when somebody says hi i think im very closed off. of course, even the odd friendship that does develop, fades out
i need to tell my friend abroad that i love them. i dont want to scare them, put too much on them though. its been over a week and a half since they opened our conversation.
the whole world is too much for me